Do You Trust Your Other Half?

Pollycat

Brightonsbest wrote: »

If you think that is funny, then you are very sick in the head.

If you think checking your partner's phone behind her back - when you have zero proof, not even the tiniest suspicion that she has ever done anything wrong - is anywhere approaching a reasonable thing to do, then I would suggest that the person with something wrong with their head is not me.

Claire_A87

I'm actually a little concerned about your mental health, OP. Your views aren't normal. Your responses aren't normal. Have you ever sought any kind of help through counselling etc?

Robisere

I would hazard a guess that the "90%" refer to those who have thought about cheating. I confess to that, it's a male thing, as in "What would it be like if..."

The point is that, for most men, (and women I suspect) that is as far as it goes. For me, I have alwyas had so much love and so much respect for my lovely, loving wife, that I would never go any farther than a mild fantasy daydream.

I could not bear the thought of the heart break it would cause, I know she would be bereft. And, were it to be the other way round, I would be totally devastated. I am reminded of (I think) Paul Newman's words some years ago. When asked how he managed to stay married for so long to Joanne Woodward, when there are so many beautiful women in Hollywood, he is reported to have said "Why go out for hamburger, when you have steak at home?"

Pollycat

Robisere wrote: »

I would hazard a guess that the "90%" refer to those who have thought about cheating. I confess to that, it's a male thing, as in "What would it be like if..."

Regardless of where the 90% has come from it does not excuse - at least it doesn't in my book - someone having a 'sneaky look' (actually the OP's own terminology) at his or her partner's phone when they have absolutely no proof that the partner has ever done anything wrong and that mistrust actually stems from what an ex partner has done in the past.

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Yes, we too share our codes/etc in saving accounts, but I do have a sneaky look especially if she gets more than a couple of texts a day, as we are not mobile phone made.

ATB

I'm pretty sure what Joanne Woodward's reaction would have been if she ever discovered that her husband was 'sneakily' checking up on her.

dotchas

comeandgo wrote: »

Don't know if anyone has pointed out the glaring error in the 90% but it is incorrect. You are using 200% as your sample i.e. You are adding two samples of 100 together so the correct percentage is 45%. A much more believable statistic.

I agree, according to the OPs statistics 110% of people don't cheat!

Also the statement from the Daily Mail 90% of women who cheat don't get caught, doesn't actually say how many cheat!

Statistics.............there's lies, dammed lies and statistics!
"Lies, damned lies, and statistics" is a phrase describing the persuasive power of numbers, particularly the use of statistics to bolster weak arguments.

clint_S

Would checking their phone prevent people cheating? Surely the hurt is there whether you find out by checking their phone or any other way? I appreciate people who have been cheated on and have no trust in anyone and are paranoid from the start in their next relationship, it hurts and you don’t want to be hurt again, but is it worth the mental torture of constantly checking up on your partner? Surely this will cause the relationship to fail, possibly creating a vicious circle of constantly having relationships failing and being cheated on. Sure there are lots of people who do cheat, otherwise else Jeremy Kyle wouldn’t have any work, but it’s nowhere near 90%.

Gloomendoom

comeandgo wrote: »

Don't know if anyone has pointed out the glaring error in the 90% but it is incorrect. You are using 200% as your sample i.e. You are adding two samples of 100 together so the correct percentage is 45%. A much more believable statistic.

Indirectly in post 23.

comeandgo

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Indirectly in post 23.

In that post you are trying to say it's 90% by adding the two percentages together. That is incorrect.

Lily-Rose_3

Madbags wrote: »

Why would it bother me? Whether I'm being serious or not doesn't matter, it's just a dream. It's never going to happen.

I'm far too laid back to let something like that bother me even if she did mention something like that. I'd just laugh.

It might be shock horror to you judging by your use of "EEKs" but each to their own.

Well yes it is shock horror, what you said about dreaming about your wife and her sister in bed with you. You said why would it bother you if she suggested it with your brother? But why WOULDN'T it? If my husband suggested it, (with his brother,) I would vomit, and think there were serious issues in our marriage.

bugslet wrote: »

I suspect that falls into fantasy realms, if it was actually likely to happen, madbags would run a mile the other way.:rotfl:

I agree! :rotfl:

Pollycat wrote: »

Hah!
Well, seeing as you've introduced the very tasty Johnny Depp into the conversation, I'd like to mention this guy from Lily-Rose's earlier post:




who I'd never heard of before but he runs Mr Depp a very close second.

Gorgeous isn't he Pollycat. He is from game of Thrones.

FBaby

someone having a 'sneaky look' (actually the OP's own terminology) at his or her partner's phone when they have absolutely no proof that the partner has ever done anything wrong and that mistrust actually stems from what an ex partner has done in the past.

Do you mean proof of suspicion? Because if you already have proof, the need the check your partner's phone becomes a bit redundant beyond gathering evidence if required.

The issue is whether having some suspicions is enough of a reason, and if it, what level of suspicion makes it acceptable?

Would checking their phone prevent people cheating? Surely the hurt is there whether you find out by checking their phone or any other way?

Speaking for myself, it would mean being able to get out of the marriage and moving on at the earliest time the relationship is over rather than living in fantasy land and delaying the chance to move on.