Do You Trust Your Other Half?

clint_S

I’ve been thinking about this and the questions should really be do you want to live in constant fear that your partner is cheating, always on the edge, and never trusting them or would you rather live in ignorant bliss of trusting them. Is the pain of being on the end of cheating less if you find out by checking their phone daily rather than stumbling upon it later? If the pain is the same whether you constantly check up on them is it worth mental suffering of being in a relationship where one person doesn’t trust the other and always having the thoughts that they are with someone else when they are uncontactable for 20 minutes?


The wife has already said that if she had the chance she’d cheat on me with Johnny Depp, but that’s very very different to John in Accounts!


As to phones, the wife has full access to all my phones, laptops, email accounts, she even knows my work passwords. I also have access to all of hers.

Claire_A87

Wow, a lot of playing fast and loose with the word 'fact' going on here.

This may be oddest OP I've read for a while on here.

hunters

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Hello

Before you jump on me, read, digest, think about it and then post.

About 90% of all adults have cheated, thought about it or tried and failed.

I recall listening to a woman on a radio station last year, she had just celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary - cut long story shower as follows: Her parents died, only child, got couple of hundred k's banked it - then soon after got a volunteer redundancy offer at age of 55 her husband told her to take it, banked cash. Had her wedding anniversary and husband told guests, "she is the best thing since sliced bread." The woman got an anonymous letter saying her husband having an affair with her best friend - she doubted it but then things did not look right the more she thought about it and asked her husband one night and too her surprise he admitted it. What hurt was it had been going on for 20 yrs. He promised he would end it, but left a couple of days later when she was visiting her sister. That really hurt after all she forgave him by deceit really hurt. Then a few days later she logged into her bak account and noted it was empty, then checked and another account, empty and she thought she was victim of crime - turned out her hubby took the money, all of it as in joint accounts and allowed single access - police could not do anything - so he took his money, the money wife worked for and got from parents house and volunteer redundancy.

I have read many times people saying that there "must be trust...I could never spy/check on my other half and if you don't trust them, then leave." Be honest with yourself, would you want to be deceived not just on a one off but for years or even forever? I thought not. I have sadly met several women, co-workers that ranted on about, "if i ever found out my other half was cheating I'd cut off their ... and throw them out." Sadly when they found out, and like most did not expect it, they fell apart and begged their other half to say as this is a common thing as one is usually not prepared.

Sadly, just as many women cheat these days as men as the mobile phone, texting/the internet can play a big role, EG old days a bit of a lol at work stayed at work and most men/women were too fearful to overstep the mark - but via texts they will try and if fail will say "just joking" but usually the other person goes along with it and it builds into real stuff. Sadly, many men wrongly assume the child is theirs but not the case.

Would you check your other half's mobile/etc? I would especially if they kept it close to their chest, using the mobile more often and get angry when you get near it and suddenly have new friends, overtime, work related matters, sports, taking more care of self and easily agitated and then happy when ret home - could be cheating?

WARNING SIGNS: Mobile close to chest always locked as well as lap top. Coming off the phone as soon as you walk in or turning over page on laptop - saying to you, "don't you treat me making you feel guilty." Ne so-called friends, out more different times working longer, etc, etc - more worryingly if they have a second mobile that they hide from you, or a so-called 'works mobile' that they did not have before.

MANY WILL SAY I HAVE A "TRUST PROBLEM" THE WORRYING FACT IS MOST WILL CHEAT, MOST WON'T GET FOUND OUT AND ALL OF THE TIME YOU ARE BEING DECEIVED.

CAUTION ADVISED: IF YOU LOOK, YOU FIND OUT SOMETHING YOU WISHED YOU NEVER FOUND OUT - IT IS YOUR CHOICE, BUT IF YOUR MARRIAGE ETC IS STRONG AND BEEN GOING ON FOR A LONG TIME AND NO UNUSUAL SIGNS OF NEW MEETINGS/WORK/FRIENDS/RET HOME LATE OUT LOT MORE, THEN THEY ARE POSSIBLY NOT CHEATING - BUT AGAIN YOUR CHOICE

NB: Almost 90% of women cheats never get found out - I have posted a link in one of my posts from a very respected media source.

NB - NOT EVERYONE IS A CHEAT BUT CLEARLY MANY ARE. YOUR CHOICE IF YOU WANT TO INVESTIGATE BUT BE WARNED YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND AND IF YOUR OH FINDS OUT YOU HAVE BEEN SPYING, MAY END UP IN TROUBLE - BEST WAY IS KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN AND LOOK OUT FOR CHANGES IN BEHAVIOUR/TIMES GOING OUT/DRESS SENSE, NEW SO-CALLED FRIENDS, USE OF MOBILES/ETC/TC - BUT BE WARNED, YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND[. THE CHOICE IS CLEARLY YOURS. [

Can I just point out that SHOUTING or bolding doesn't make anything fact, it is still merely your opinion

Also when you post to someone and say, trust me, why should they? Have a lovely day.

bugslet

Pollycat wrote: »

Really? :eek:

I suspect that falls into fantasy realms, if it was actually likely to happen, madbags would run a mile the other way.:rotfl:

DavidF

Having read this from op's view point I have just pinned a child tracker to my OH...she did struggle and scream but I have insisted it is for the best as she can't help herself as more than 9 out of 10 women cheat and I just cant have it. I have also installed monitoring apps on her mobile so all texts come to me weather she sends or receives them. Finally I have installed a netnanny type software at router level to make sure she doesn't succumb to anything untoward online. I will drop her off at work and pick her up at finishing time ....I do feel a bit better now but oh is moaning about trust and whatnot but I have insisted that this is just her trying to find a way of cheating.
We were happy for 10years or so until this morning when I implemented the new regime....im sure she will come round in the end.

Pollycat

clint_S wrote: »

The wife has already said that if she had the chance she’d cheat on me with Johnny Depp, but that’s very very different to John in Accounts!

Hah!
Well, seeing as you've introduced the very tasty Johnny Depp into the conversation, I'd like to mention this guy from Lily-Rose's earlier post:

Lily-Rose wrote: »

who I'd never heard of before but he runs Mr Depp a very close second.

Pollycat

DavidF wrote: »

Having read this from op's view point I have just pinned a child tracker to my OH...she did struggle and scream but I have insisted it is for the best as she can't help herself as more than 9 out of 10 women cheat and I just cant have it. I have also installed monitoring apps on her mobile so all texts come to me weather she sends or receives them. Finally I have installed a netnanny type software at router level to make sure she doesn't succumb to anything untoward online. I will drop her off at work and pick her up at finishing time ....I do feel a bit better now but oh is moaning about trust and whatnot but I have insisted that this is just her trying to find a way of cheating.
We were happy for 10years or so until this morning when I implemented the new regime....im sure she will come round in the end.

Now, David, I feel you're on tricky ground here.

As the OP has said about his cheating ex, you really can't trust those women - even when they're at work. :rotfl:

Brightonsbest wrote: »

A couple of times I phoned her work place and they could not get hold of her as on factory floor thought nothing of it, actual fact was out for a few hours for a good service I found out later.

DavidF

Pollycat wrote: »

Now, David, I feel you're on tricky ground here.

As the OP has said about his cheating ex, you really can't trust those women - even when they're at work. :rotfl:

Im on it now. Go-pro on her work attire. I shall review the situation to see if I am going to have to insist her workplace let me install my own cctv....I wonder if she could work from home...hmmm.

bugslet

DavidF wrote: »

Im on it now. Go-pro on her work attire. I shall review the situation to see if I am going to have to insist her workplace let me install my own cctv....I wonder if she could work from home...hmmm.

Gosh this is tricky, I was about to suggest a chaperone. But a male chaperone and she'd probably not be able to contol herself. aA female one...well lets just say madbags might be the one you have to keep your eye on.:rotfl:

love bugslet a very dull 10%er:D

Brightonsbest_2

clint_S wrote: »

he wife has already said that if she had the chance she’d cheat on me with Johnny Depp, but that’s very very different to John in Accounts!


The wife has already said that if she had the chance she’d cheat on me with Johnny Depp, but that’s very very different to John in Accounts!


As to phones, the wife has full access to all my phones, laptops, email accounts, she even knows my work passwords. I also have access to all of hers.

Thanks for sharing


Btw, I'm not saying check the mobile every day, but every few months or when you suspect.

Your choice and no offence intended - ATB