Do You Trust Your Other Half?

Pollycat

NBLondon wrote: »

I can believe that 90% of people surveyed have cheated, tried to cheat or thought about cheating.

Well, when the survey was conducted by undercoverlovers.com

The world’s No.1 discreet extra-marital dating service run by women for women… and the men who want to meet them!

Are you feeling neglected or starved of affection and attention at home?
Do you feel trapped in a loveless marriage or relationship?
Are you looking for more excitement and thrills in your love life?
Whether you’re seeking a full blown secret affair or a brief illicit fling, we can help. Meet 100,000’s of like minded people in a similar situation to yours, either in your area, or further afield.
All of our members and their messages are 100% real… guaranteed!
Join us Undercover and find your new Lover now!

the results are hardly surprising are they?

And they surveyed a total of 3000 women (and the same number of men).
I wonder why the number was so low considering they claim to have

• Over 650,000 genuine UK members

Just shows how believable the OP's source is - regardless of how respected he believes the media source to be. :rotfl:

fairy_lights

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Sorry guys but there is no way ANYone can know if 90% have thought about cheating. It could be 100% or it could be 50% or it could be 33%. No-one KNOWS. It's all hyperbole.

Exactly, statistics like that are completely meaningless. I mean, everyone on this thread has thought about cheating; most of us have been thinking about how we would never do it!

Lily-Rose_3

fairy_lights wrote: »

Exactly, statistics like that are completely meaningless. I mean, everyone on this thread has thought about cheating; most of us have been thinking about how we would never do it!

Well I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about cheating with Tom Hardy or Kit Harington hubba hubba! :cool:



But seriously, I have never considered cheating on my husband. And I would seriously dispute that statistic that 90% of people think seriously about cheating.

WibblyGirly

Brightonsbest wrote: »

Thanks for sharing

But where is the trust when you can't even share joint accounts. IMO, sharing your bank/saving accounts is the biggest piece of trust I know of.

Why do we need a joint account to show trust? He trusts I'll pay the rent and I'll trust that he pays the bills. If either of us need money we only have to ask the other. This works for us as we are 2 separate people still, just because we are a couple doesn't mean EVERYTHING has to be shared.

Playing devils advocate you could spin it and say only having a joint account shows less trust as you could check up on their spending? Seeing where they've made purchases and how much their phone bill is?

wishus

Hi Brightonsbest

You seem to have found some stats somewhere that reassure you that you are right to be paranoid... but something must also be telling you that something is not quite right about these figures, otherwise why would you seek to gather further evidence with a poll here.

You are finding that respondents, far from reiterating what you think you know, are coming down on the opposite side.

I'm afraid, though it sounds like you do love your OH, your past experiences are making you paranoid. I would wonder if your behaviour has recently started up again, or if she has had you checking her phone and getting angry with her for what you think are other men noticing her for all of these 5 plus years? That's a long time to put someone through this, and no matter how you are hurting from your past, I think it's vital you take a step back as she must be feeling worn down by this by now. She might not say as such, but you've already got her avoiding certain situations so as to avoid provoking you. Not being "around drunk men" I'm assuming means she no longer has access to an independent social life.

Bear in mind that the CPS has now made a ruling on controlling and coercive behaviour. Just these 2 things, mild though they might seem, are controlling and coercive behaviours. I would seriously advise you to have a word with yourself or seek help if needed before this escalates.

Torry_Quine

fairy_lights wrote: »

Exactly, statistics like that are completely meaningless. I mean, everyone on this thread has thought about cheating; most of us have been thinking about how we would never do it!

Speak for yourself, I have never even thought of cheating.

Pollycat

Lily-Rose wrote: »

And I would seriously dispute that statistic that 90% of people think seriously about cheating.

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Sorry guys but there is no way ANYone can know if 90% have thought about cheating. It could be 100% or it could be 50% or it could be 33%. No-one KNOWS. It's all hyperbole.

Where did the 90% 'Thinking about cheating' come from?

I may have missed it but I didn't see it in the article.
It was mentioned in this thread:

NBLondon wrote: »

I can believe that 90% of people surveyed have cheated, tried to cheat or thought about cheating. How serious that thought was - is highly variable. Some Christians believe the thought is equivalent to the deed when it comes to adultery y'know (Matthew 5:28 is the reference). In other cases, it can be an enjoyable fantasy and no more - and some couples share that fantasy, both knowing it's only a fantasy.

But is it really a statistic?

Brightonsbest_2

wishus wrote: »

Hi Brightonsbest

Y
I'm a from your past, I think it's vital you take a step back as she must be feeling worn down by this by now. She might not say as such, but you've already got her avoiding certain situations so as to avoid provoking you. Not being "around drunk men" I'm assuming means she no longer has access to an independent social life.

.

hi Thanks for sharing

You misunderstood me, I said stay clear of drunk me, by that try to end chat asap as at parties, weddings/etc drunk men usally try to touch women up, we personally know of several blokes like this its just who they are. When I'm drunk, I joke, some fight and other leer at other mens women

thanks

Brightonsbest_2

Please note that 21 people do check their OH phones/etc to see if they are cheating. Anyone checks mine, no worries as passwords are known to OH and son. I have nothing to hide.

I advise/recommed to my OH what I expect and up to them agree or otherwise and the OH behaves in same way.

annandale

If you trusted your partner she could be around as many drunk men as she liked and it would make no difference.

The problem is with you. You have a horrible attitude towards men and women.

Living with someone like you would be an absolute nightmare