Sashybo - Back Again

sashybo

Thanks Eve, I try to be calm but just can't always seem to manage it and then it becomes a power struggle with me wanting DS to do one thing and him determined that he's going to do what he wants and I know that's not a good place to be in with an almost 3yo. 

He just doesn't listen to anything I say, from a calm "Stop doing that please" to (After a million repetitions of him doing the same thing & me saying the same thing) a crazed scream of "Stop doing that!!". He just laughs and thinks it's funny. 😠 His new things are throwing stones and kicking people. 😔 Then at random times he'll turn round and wag his finger at me and say "Don't throw stones mummy". 🤷‍♀️ 

I think a lot of the naughty behaviour is just attention seeking and a bit of boredom especially as we can't get out just now to see my mum or any of DS's cousins. I know I need to try and give him more attention and try and do things together but when I try he doesn't seem all that interested!

I found a recipe to make play dough online so might try that with DS, he likes mixing things in bowls so that might appeal to him. I dug out a reusable sticker book for him as well and he loves it because there are lots of different vehicles, so at least that's something else to do as he's not interested in drawing or colouring yet.

Forgot to mention yesterday that I think my rhubarb crown is picking up. 🥳 The leaf that was looking all shrivelled up seems to be much better now and I think I can see more nubs forming just above the soil level. Fingers crossed. 😊 

beanielou

Have a good week. 😊🌈

Willowtree222

Ooh, I remember those tantrums. 

DD is still always trying to outwit me. Yesterday she turned round and said "adults will be adults" didn't see that one coming. X

DancingInTheRain

It is hard work juggling very young children with the restrictions placed upon us, I read something the other day that compared lockdown with little ones as an almost regression to postpartum days which totally resonated as there's no break from them at all. I love my children I really do but I'm finding all day, every day very difficult to cope with on some days. But we're only human right? On the occasions I lose my temper I always make a point of apologising to the children, I can actually see this paying dividends with DS1 as, now he's getting a little older he's understanding that he also needs to apologise for poor behaviour. 
Hope you're still managing to carve out a little time in your day just for you, take care x

sashybo

Hi Beanie, Nicnak & Dancing.

Thanks Beanie, you too.

Nicnak "adults will be adults" 🤣 The things kids come out with crack me up. 😂 

Dancing, yes I was struggling anyway before lockdown as on maternity leave and DS isn't due to start nursery until August this year. 😩 It's really hard being with them both full time and like you I love them a lot but I need my own space sometimes without someone crying/whinging/screaming mummy mummy mummy. There's always something needing done/one of them needs fed/nappy changed etc etc.

At least prior to the lockdown I was getting out to see friends (on my own!) at least once a month and seeing my mum every week, sometimes twice a week at times. I was also going out on my own at least once a week just to have a wander about the shops so I actually got some time to look at things. 

I definitely feel it when I don't get any "me" time, I get very short tempered (more than usual) and angry at silly things. ☹️ It's like I need the break to build up my patience supply. 

The lockdown obviously means I'm not getting away from the kids now except for maybe an hour a week to go and do the food shop which is a new stress all of its own! I can't wait until the lockdown is eased at least a bit and I can go and see my mum. She has offered to watch the kids for me when that happens as well so I can get a break.

I try so hard not to lose my temper as I know DS isn't doing things to deliberately annoy me, he's not even 3 and he's still learning how to be a human and deal with his feelings. I try to remind myself to be kind to him and try to show him empathy but sometimes it's hard when I'm tired and have everything else going on. I'm a naturally short tempered person so it's not always easy not to snap. I do try to apologise to him if I shout over something silly.

I got up before the kids this morning (they were awake in their rooms but just babbling) and hung a nappy wash out on the line then did 30 mins of yoga. I did feel better for it. DH got the kids up and dressed then brought them down for breakfast. 

I made play dough today as well, DS wasn't interested in helping me at all. I made the fist batch orange and the second batch red. I halved the recipe for the second batch as I wanted to work on the colour - the orange batch isn't as bright as I wanted it to be and even the red is more of a pink. 😂  Other than that, it's pretty good.

DS refused to touch it for ages and only played with it when I got my biscuit cutters out for him to use with it. Then he just started shredding/crumbling it. 😱 It did keep him busy for a while though. 

One of my uncles has been digitising my grampa's old family cinefilms and they're so amazing to watch. 😃 My mum has been sending us some of the shorts he's managed to do and it's hilarious watching my mum and her brothers and sisters when they were kids.

Have seen my mum age 6, 7 and 8 so far, I can see my kids in her, myself and my sister sometimes too. Also funny how I can see my nieces and nephews like my mum's brothers and sisters too. It's nice to see my gran as well, she died when my mum was 11 so obviously I never knew her. The only person we don't really see is my grampa as he's the one taking the films!

Really enjoying seeing them, my mum has been getting a bit upset at seeing her mum again but she's also happy to be able to watch her on the cinefilms. My mum is one of ten kids and they never got over losing their mum so young, I don't think she was even 50 when she died and my youngest aunt was something like 2 or 3 years old. ☹️ 

Willowtree222

My dad was two when his dad died. He doesn't remember anything about him. He had a lung condition and left 8 children. My dad was the youngest and I think it hit him quite hard in elder years as his siblings brought him up mostly and he didn't have the best relationship with them. x

sashybo

Hi Nicnak, it must be so hard to lose a parent so young. My mum has a sometimes difficult relationship with one of her older sisters as she basically had to take over her mum's role in the house after she died.

Yesterday all I got done was some washing and did the big clean out of the litter trays. We went out for a walk with DD in the pram and DS walking with us. DD loved sitting forward facing and was looking at everything until she fell asleep. DS was great for the whole walk until we were heading home and then the screaming/tantrums and refusing to walk started. 🙄 

I think it was a combination of tiredness and hunger plus he didn't want to go back to the house. He absolutely refused to stand on the buggy board, wasn't having it at all so DH and I had to take turns wrestling him up the hill. He had a further screaming fit when we wouldn't let him go on the swing in the play park. The play park is out of bounds just now as some of it isn't safe or I would have let him have a go on the swing. 

We went for another walk this morning but went slightly earlier and made it slightly shorter so that DS wouldn't get so tired or be so hungry. He was great, even walking up the hill until he saw the play park and wanted to go on the swing again. 🤦‍♀️ So a bit more screaming ensued. DD had a great time for the first 10 minutes then fell asleep again.

I did 45 mins of yoga this morning before the kids got up, DD has been sleeping through from 11pm/midnight until 7/8am and then is happy to chat to herself for a while. 🥳 I'm sure this will change again as soon as I get too used to it though. 😂 The 7/8 hour straight sleep is a great help to me feeling a bit better. 

Hoping to get some hoovering done today and maybe clean the bathrooms, already have a washing on. 

Moneywhizz

Your stories about your DS are like a mirror image of my daughter and her son. He was such a handful as a toddler, he is now 4 and a half and has only recently stopped having meltdowns over such silly things. He is great when he is with me, and in his nursery but always kicked off when his mum appeared. His little sister is much more placid which is just as well, I couldn't imagine how they would have coped with another whirlwind in the house. Just reassuring you that this phase will pass before you know it, it seems only yesterday that he was a baby. I miss the kids so much during this lockdown and my daughter can'
t wait for them to be able to come back to Gran's!

sashybo

Thanks Moneywhizz, yes my DS certainly can be a handful, he is great one on one but definitely likes his own way. I know it's mostly his age but it's hard going at times!

He is great for his gran and with his dad (when I'm not in the house) but will start misbehaving or having a silly tantrum as soon as I arrive! It's exhausting.

DD is so much more laid back already at only 6 months - I was dreading moving her into the big cot in her own room because it was so traumatic with DS, he screamed every time I left him in the cot/left the room every night of the first week and it was terrible hearing him so distressed. I didn't really sleep that week and had to sit with him for hours at night. He just wanted me to be with him all the time and I hardly ever got a break. DD on the other hand loves her own space, loves the big cot and wasn't bothered at all about being left in a room on her own! 

DS is still a cuddle monkey and would just cuddle for hours whereas DD lets you know when she's had enough. I can't believe how much more independent she is than DS was at her age already.

My mum is really missing the kids too and she wants DS to come and stay overnight with her after lockdown ends. I'll definitely not be saying no to that! 😂 

Willowtree222

My DD was tough. She used to scream at strangers and not stop until they were gone. Strangers could be someone I knew but she didn't know well. She did it at my MIL and FIL once for an hour until they left the house. She is 7 now and a completely different child. So much more confident now. 

Glad you are getting some yoga time though and that the longer sleeps are making you feel better. That makes a whole lot of difference. x