Sashybo - Back Again

beanielou

Her poor children. 

I will say no more. 

sashybo

I know Beanie, what can you do when someone just won't listen? 

She's so lucky to have those kids, there are people who would do anything to have them and would be great parents. She loves them but not enough to put them before herself, which is what's really sad to me. ☹️ She thinks buying them things is showing her love when all they want is her time and attention. They are lovely kids as well, somehow!

Willowtree222

She sounds like my ex. 
The stress might be also getting to your DH. I hope him getting to work and some space helps. I can imagine it is really tough for a lot of couples at the minute. x

DancingInTheRain

Sounds like a challenging few days, definitely a time for taking many, many deep breaths at the moment! Keep going x

sashybo

Hi Nicnak & Dancing.

I'm really getting to the end of my tether just now, DS is pushing and pushing me every day. Not being able to just drop him off at my mum's or go out somewhere on my own for a while is making it really hard just now.

My DH is definitely stressed out with everything as well, so we are bickering a bit more. 

DS was a nightmare again on our walk today, he just wants to do his own thing and run off but we can't let him do that as there are too many roads around and he would just run out. ☹️ He was refusing to walk/hold hands/go the way we were walking etc and just screaming. We had to take turns carrying him and he had a full meltdown on the way home. 

I had to leave him with DH and walk away with DD in the pram because I was just seeing red. DH said he was crying when I went out of sight but he would also cry and try to run away if he could see me waiting for them some distance away. Sigh. 

He had another screaming fit later on when I switched the tv off as every programme I put on for him he didn't want and was crying and whinging but he couldn't tell me what he did want, so I just put it off. He had already watched a film and some bin lorry videos on youtube anyway.

He also scratched DH's face twice, thinking it was a fun game and was kicking and nipping me, then climbing all over DD when she was lying on her play mat. I don't know why he is doing this except that it's an attention or boredom thing. ☹️ He just laughs when I tell him off. 

He was just hard work and I'm really struggling with him as can't escape to refill my tolerance/patience levels just now. ☹️ I know it's partly his age and partly this situation but it doesn't help. I want to run away to be honest!

Going to head to bed after giving DD her bottle, she usually wakes up around now. Will try and get up for some yoga in the morning before the kids are up for the day and that might help me relax a bit.

Honeysucklelou2

Thinking of you Sashybo.

Have you tried reins at all? I’ve found these helpful in the past, particularly if you play a game of horses with them. If traditional reins don’t appeal, I think you can get them now in rucksack form.  Would your DS sit on a bike/tricycle? When DD1 was little, I had a tricycle with a parent handle, so she was pedalling away thinking that  she was doing everything but the parent handle allowed the ability to push or steer as necessary .

Do stories hold his attention at all? That’s another calming strategy I’ve used over the years!

Hope today is a better day.

beanielou

Also hoping today is a better day. 

DancingInTheRain

Oh poor you, it's so difficult when you go through this stage. Honeysuckle's reins ideas are good. One thing that worked (occasionally!) with DS1 was to print off an outdoor scavenger hunt, they helped distract him to look for things like clouds, grass, trees, flowers & he got a sense of achievement ticking things off his list. Might be worth a try? https://buggyandbuddy.com/30-free-printable-scavenger-hunts-for-kids/
Wishing you a better day xx

Willowtree222

Hope you have a better day and manage to get some yoga in this morning to help you relax. 
I used reigns as well and they worked with DD too. Wish there was a way that you could have time out to relax, but it's just so impossible at the minute. Could you agree with DH that you go upstairs away for an hour at some point, and he does the same? That way you both have an hour off every day that you can look forward to? 
x

sashybo

Hi all, thanks for the suggestions, we do have reins for him but he hates them (of course!). Will try again with them and see how he does but he generally just refuses to walk with them on if we try and go a way he doesn't want to go! He does that jelly legs thing and just collapses. 🙄 

Honeysuckle, I don't know if he would sit on a bike/tricycle, he might but he is very unco-operative at the moment so who knows! We don't have anything to hand either for a trial, he has a sit in toy car in the garden (the obligatory yellow and red one 😂) and he does enjoy being pushed about in that.

Stories will sometimes hold his attention but not always. He's very fickle! He wants attention but when I try to do anything with him he's not really interested. 🤷‍♀️ He just wants to wreck the place by throwing toys everywhere then stands there saying "oh what a mess!" But won't tidy any of it up obviously!

Dancing, a scavenger hunt might work but he's so easily distracted that I'm not sure how long it would hold his attention. It's worth a try though, thanks.

Nicnak, we can try and have an hour's peace each, it might be a good option. 🤔 

I managed to get 40 mins of yoga done this morning, so at least have had a bit of peace. Fingers crossed that DS is more co-operative today. Will try to get out into the garden with him so he can run about and I can try and do something with my seedlings.