Thank you messages

Mojisola

Person_one wrote: »

All that? You really think what I suggested is remotely arduous?

When you multiply that by every person you're buying presents for, yes.

Or do you only make that effort for the ungrateful ones who can't be bothered to just say 'thank you for the present'?

Pollycat

onlyroz wrote: »

Or a call? Or text? Or email? Or a message via Facebook/Whatsapp/Skype?

d70cw6 wrote: »

life's too short to send out thank you letters. typical entitled something dothers.

Maybe this poster ^^^ thinks life may be too short for any of those options too. (Not sure what the last 4 words are intended to mean)

Mojisola

theEnd wrote: »

I've never sent or expected to receive a thank you card.

It doesn't have to be a card - it could be a text, a phone call, a face-to-face thank you, a FB post, etc.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

When you multiply that by every person you're buying presents for, yes.

Or do you only make that effort for the ungrateful ones who can't be bothered to just say 'thank you for the present'?

I enjoy choosing and giving gifts, I think its one of the nicest 'chores' there is. I don't think that the list I posted is remotely excessive or unusual I'm afraid. I consider it to still be a fairly low level of thought and effort, but better than what the OP is currently doing.

theEnd

Mojisola wrote: »

It doesn't have to be a card - it could be a text, a phone call, a face-to-face thank you, a FB post, etc.

Got 3 nephews now and I'm quite generous (sent a bicycle to the States this christmas), but would never expect a thank you.

They're gifts. No strings attached.

Missus_Hyde

d70cw6 wrote: »

life's too short to send out thank you letters. typical entitled something dothers.

Actually, I think life's too short to send/ give presents to people who can't be bothered to say "thank you". (I don't understand the last word, either? :think:)

When my sister and I were small children, my mother would insist that we wrote thank you letters to the people who had kindly sent presents to us; although we moaned a bit at the time (as children do ) we always did it and it became a habit, which carried on into our adult lives.


When my nieces were small, my sister thanked people on their behalf, until they were old enough to write their own letters and now that they're grown up, they always without fail ring me and thank me for their birthday and Christmas presents, which usually consists of a fat cheque/ cash.

Likewise, I always ring or text (at the very least ) to thank anyone who has had the kindness to send me a gift ( my mother would be turning in her grave if she thought I had been so rude and ungrateful not to acknowledge a present. )

enthusiasticsaver

I used to make sure my children wrote thank you letters when they were small.

I used to get them from my niece and nephew too but not since they got older. I don't buy for them now. We also stopped buying for nieces and nephews on my husbands side as we never got thank yous.

I usually get a phone call or text to say thanks from my daughters now they are adults and I send them money either for them or my granddaughter and I think they do the same with my mum when she sends them gifts. I noticed my daughter writing down what my granddaughter got for christmas this year (she is only 1) so assume she is still doing thank yous.

I think it is rude not to acknowledge gifts at all. How much effort does it take to send a text, email, whatsapp message? I think I would be inclined to not bother if they cannot be bothered to contact you or visit you too. 150 miles is nothing.

TBagpuss

Pippa44 wrote: »

I strongly refute your accusation/assumption of laziness and that no thought or effort has gone into this.
We live 150 miles apart and do not see the older boys more than once a year. We always ask their parents what they think the boys would like and are told they prefer vouchers to purchase computer games. Having no knowledge of these and not having the particular store near us nor knowing which games they already own - we transfer money to the parents' account for them to purchase the vouchers.
We then buy cards for enclosing the vouchers, write a personal note in each and post these to the parents for them to insert the vouchers.
Which manners and rituals haven't we got quite right?!!

Why not send a cheque or cash, in the card? Cut out the parents involvment altoether. Add a note to say you understand from your parents tht you'd like competer games but that they should spend the money however they like.


Personally, if thye don't boter with any kind of thanks I would stop sending the gifts. I don't think that there is any requirement to treeat all children / grandchildren the same.

It's very rude not to thank people for gifts.

how you do it is up to you and (to a degree, and within your immediate family) how your family does it. Personally I send letters , and I love to get them, I'd rather have a letter or card than a call or email, but that is down to personal preference and if someone calls me or sends an e-mail or text then I am happy with that, they've taken the trouble to acknowledge the gift.

I saw one of aunts this christmas. She brought a gift for me, and one for my mum and dad. She didn't bring one for my sibling (who was also present) and specifcially mentioned that I was the only neice who got a gift becaue I am the only one who either sends one for her & her husband or thanks them.

I have adopted a simialr appropach, and as a result I no longer trsend gifts to one of my aunts or to several of my cousins. I don't give gifts to get thanks or to get gifts in return but if there is nothing to indicate that the recipient cares, or has even noticed the gift, then why bother?

I'm a bit puzzled by those saying it's unreasonable to expect people to go out ad buy thank you cards - it's not difficult to keep a pad of notepaper and a packet of envelopes in the hosue, a letter is fine. And of course there are the options of phone calls, e-mails, even companies such as moonpig where you can send a card withou having to go to a shop. In most cases, not making the effort to offer some sort of thanks is just laziness.

Lily-Rose_3

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I used to make sure my children wrote thank you letters when they were small.

I used to get them from my niece and nephew too but not since they got older. I don't buy for them now. We also stopped buying for nieces and nephews on my husbands side as we never got thank yous.

I usually get a phone call or text to say thanks from my daughters now they are adults and I send them money either for them or my granddaughter and I think they do the same with my mum when she sends them gifts. I noticed my daughter writing down what my granddaughter got for christmas this year (she is only 1) so assume she is still doing thank yous.

I think it is rude not to acknowledge gifts at all. How much effort does it take to send a text, email, whatsapp message? I think I would be inclined to not bother if they cannot be bothered to contact you or visit you too. 150 miles is nothing.

I am with you on this, right up to the last sentence. 150 miles IS a lot for many people to travel just to pop and see someone. It's a long drive, and it's expensive on the train.

Pollycat

theEnd wrote: »

Got 3 nephews now and I'm quite generous (sent a bicycle to the States this christmas), but would never expect a thank you.

They're gifts. No strings attached.

I don't think it has anything to do with 'strings'.

To me, it's about innate politeness in expressing gratitude for a gift.

Anybody who receives a gift - whether it's from Auntie Dot in the next street or from the other side of the Atlantic - and doesn't even bother to say 'thanks' in any form is lacking in basic manners.