Thank you messages

Marvel1

I wouldn't expect a thank you card, but just any type of a thank you will do.

DomRavioli

I think expecting a hand written note in this day and age is unreasonable. Perhaps a call/email/text would be just as great, as most people don't have note paper, and would not go out and buy it to write a single note yearly to their grandparents.

If you don't like what they are doing, then stop sending them and explain why. It really is that simple.

happyandcontented

Op do you not see them? I would arrange a family get together near to Xmas and only give gifts to those who bother to make the effort to see you.

maisie_cat

I must admit that I stopped sending presents when the nieces and nephews were working and old enough to send a Christmas card in their own right. They never did & didn't even acknowledge the gifts so I assumed that they'd prefer to opt out of the present/card exchange and I told my sister that I would not do it anymore.

annandale

I don't expect a thank you note when I give presents. If someone gives me a present and I'm with them I'll say thanks, otherwise I'll text to say thank you.

Person_one

They should thank you, yes, but let's face it paying money into their mum's bank account so she can go and get them vouchers is a bit of a lazy way to give a gift! There's no thought or effort there at all is there? Its practically an anonymous donation! Even if you are physically unable to shop or get to the post office, you can clearly use a computer.

They're bad receivers, and if you want to stop sending the money I think you'd be perfectly within your rights, but there are manners and rituals for giving too that you haven't got quite right.

Quackers1

I had a great Aunt in Australia. She used to send my brother and I and our cousins money each year for Christmas and Birthdays. When we were very little, my Mum wrote on our behalf, once older we took on the responsibility and diligently wrote twice a year - our cheques continued to arrive. BUT our cousins were stopped as soon as they failed to say thank you. To this day, they don't know we were the lucky ones!

If I receive a gift, given in person, then I don't expect to write a thank you letter but if I receive it through the post I will get in touch either by post, text or email depending on who it is from.

Good luck with whatever you decide to you.

pinky_p

I don't agree with you person one. Often young people will prefer vouchers/money to put towards something of their choice. Cheques/gift vouchers can be lost in the post. I know from experience.

Primrose

I think if you're sending either a gift or money in the post you should include a note to the effect "Please let me know this has arrived safely". If people can,t take that as a very broad hint then I think you are justified in ceasing the habit.

I once gifted a quite expensive gift to a younger relative via a John Lewis wedding list and heard nothing for three months. In the end I wrote to the couple and asked if it had arrived saying I was about to write to John Lewis and make a formal complaint that it had not reached them as otherwise I was sure I would have heard from them I received a one line ungracious thank you letter. I haven't bothered to keep in touch ! Good manners cost nothing.

Dird

I've not said thanks for anything this year. My mom drops off gifts for uncle/auntie/cousin and collects from them.

Unless it's handed over directly to me (e.g. when I'd go to my grandads a few years ago he'd hand me a card/money) then I say thanks, otherwise don't both