Thank you messages

Lily-Rose_3

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

That would be you off the Christmas Present list then.

And as for the 'hassle' of writing a thank you or at least phoning, then if you can't face the 'hassle' I'm sorry but I wouldn't want the 'hassle' of buying you a pressie either

Pollycat wrote: »

And off mine too.

Not bothering to say 'thank you' simply because the gift wasn't handed over by the donor is a poor excuse, imho.

I wouldn't mind how the 'thank you' came, be it a phone call, text. letter or email.

Simply not saying anything at all is just rude.

I do agree that it is rude and unacceptable to not acknowledge your gifts(s), just because the actual donor didn't give it you.

Many years ago, when we didn't have facebook/twitter/texting/email etc, we used to ring auntie flo and nana etc, and say thank you, or thank the person in person if it was someone who lived nearby, when we saw them next (which would usually be within a day or two.)

We buy for several friends children, and give them to the friends, and they don't usually thank us immediately, sometimes it's a week or so, but they all do thank us within 1 to 2 weeks. Usually in person, or a quick message on facebook.

I agree it's nice to send them by post if you can, but it can be quite costly (if it's a heavy present,) and risky (if's it's a voucher.) I would never send anything worth more than a tenner through the post.

I think transferring money in the bank and asking someone else to get the gift may come across as a little lacklustre to some, but for some people, there may be little choice. Some people rarely get out, and also they may not know a lot about what the child/teen wants. Yes, I know you could ask, but some people simply don't want to or don't get the chance to.

I know it sounds strange (to some) but it can be hard to know what other peoples children want; even your grandchildren (if they are teens especially!) What my daughter wanted for Christmas when she was between 10 and 15 changed fortnightly! It was a real pain sometimes, we would buy her what she had said she wanted, so as to get it before it sold out, and then she would change her mind. So we sometimes ended up spending two to three times more than we intended to for those few years.

So I kind of understand Pippa44, and wouldn't call her lazy at all.

Person_one

Pippa44 wrote: »

I strongly refute your accusation/assumption of laziness and that no thought or effort has gone into this.

Well, you would, wouldn't you?

Try not to take it too personally, but think about it for a minute, you've given a lengthy explanation there for why you can't make more effort, does that perhaps mean that you do sort of realise that you aren't really making much at the moment? It is easy to slip into taking the easy option. especially when you don't know the receivers all that well, but I'm afraid I still think you're guilty of lazy gifting, and in addition you are giving your daughter extra chores to do every Christmas!

If you do decide you want to carry on buying for them next year, I would make a few suggestions:

• Ring the boys themselves and ask them, not their parents, what they would like (that's if you definitely want to get what is requested, personally I always choose the gift myself but I realise I'm in a minority these days.)
• If they want vouchers, ask for the name of the shop and write it down
• If you can't get to that shop, use the internet, you can get gift cards online from nearly everywhere now
• If all else fails, get Amazon vouchers, because you can buy absolutely everything on Amazon
• Put them in the card and post it yourself, get proof of postage or use special delivery if you're worried about them getting lost in the post. Royal Mail will cover you. Its much rarer than people think anyway.
• Ring them on Christmas Day to wish them a happy Christmas, and mean it, don't make it obvious that you are fishing for a thank you, be genuinely interested in how they are

If they don't thank you after that, feel free to stop bothering! Most people probably would.

Mojisola

Person_one wrote: »

I still think you're guilty of lazy gifting.

So people receiving gifts only have to say thank you if the giver has demonstrably 'made an effort' in choosing the gift?

We were always taught to say thank you for presents even if they were something unsuitable or something we didn't want. The giver has still used some of their money on a present when they could have spent that money on themselves.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

So people receiving gifts only have to say thank you if the giver has demonstrably 'made an effort' in choosing the gift?

No, I clearly said in my first post that they should say thank you. Although maybe they thank their mum who seems to be making 90% of the effort...

Just because somebody else is wrong doesn't mean you aren't getting it a bit wrong too though.

Mojisola

Person_one wrote: »

• Ring the boys themselves and ask them, not their parents, what they would like (that's if you definitely want to get what is requested, personally I always choose the gift myself but I realise I'm in a minority these days.)
• If they want vouchers, ask for the name of the shop and write it down
• If you can't get to that shop, use the internet, you can get gift cards online from nearly everywhere now
• If all else fails, get Amazon vouchers, because you can buy absolutely everything on Amazon
• Put them in the card and post it yourself, get proof of postage or use special delivery if you're worried about them getting lost in the post. Royal Mail will cover you. Its much rarer than people think anyway.
• Ring them on Christmas Day to wish them a happy Christmas, and mean it, don't make it obvious that you are fishing for a thank you, be genuinely interested in how they are

If they don't thank you after that, feel free to stop bothering! Most people probably would.

Person_one wrote: »

No, I clearly said in my first post that they should say thank you. Although maybe they thank their mum who seems to be making 90% of the effort...

Just because somebody else is wrong doesn't mean you aren't getting it a bit wrong too though.

If I had to go through all that before someone appreciated the gift, I would just stop getting them anything.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

If I had to go through all that before someone appreciated the gift, I would just stop getting them anything.

All that? You really think what I suggested is remotely arduous?

onlyroz

I think that for a teen the best pressie is the universal beer token. It looks like this, is easily obtainable from everywhere and there are few people who wouldn't appreciate receiving them:

theEnd

I've never sent or expected to receive a thank you card.

d70cw6

life's too short to send out thank you letters. typical entitled something dothers.

onlyroz

theEnd wrote: »

I've never sent or expected to receive a thank you card.

Or a call? Or text? Or email? Or a message via Facebook/Whatsapp/Skype?