Thank you messages

poppystar

Jackieboy wrote: »

Perhaps I'm the only one who buys a book of stamps so that when I have to write to the bank etc. I have some in? All I have to do is drop it into a post box at the bottom of the road.

I have an elderly friend of the family who gifts me a book of stamps! A very useful gift, far better than an ornament or chocs or whatever, and of course she gets a thank you note:)

maman

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

My Nan still has thank you letters from when we were little; her favourite is the one my brother sent saying "Thank you for the pyjamas. I wear them mostly at night."

In 50 years time will people have access to emails and texts sent now? Digital communication seems so ephemeral; I am not sure we appreciate it and store it in a way that will last for future generations. Handwriting is unique, individual and special; it would be a shame to lose it forever because it's less "convenient."

These days he could wear them to the supermarket!:rotfl:

Newly_retired wrote: »

Enough moaning about the thank you I have not received in any shape or form from my nephew and his wife and three children, though I would have been happy with ( in order of preference) a letter, card, email, Facebook message, text.
My question is, what do I do now?
They are back at school so I am not going to get anything from the children, not that I expected it really. I doubt I will hear from the parents either as we do not communicate regularly. I follow them on Facebook, and often "like" their photos, and occasionally comment but they do not reciprocate.
Do I just forget about it and send again next year?
Or not send next year?
Or ask them if it arrived?

I sent the children's presents through the post and by tracking I know the parcel was received, but I don't know if the gift token to the parents arrived.
Apart from a Christmas card, I have heard nothing.
I cannot ask their mum as she is not well.
My niece, sister of said nephew, not only emailed me to say it had arrived, she also sent a photo card of her baby as a thank you. Lovely!

Unless it would make you feel uncomfortable then I'd be selective and only send to your niece and family next year. Otherwise you're stuck with it however ungrateful and ill mannered your nephew may be.


My DH has a large family and we've very much chosen which nephews and nieces we send gifts to. They're the children where my DH is closest to his siblings. They're grown up now so we send to the great nephews and nieces instead.


I'm sure it's no coincidence that all the children send us cards to say thank you (as their parents did before them) with the exception of one who always makes a phone call.

Lily-Rose_3

Regarding the comments about how you can just stick a stamp on a card and post it in the postbox.

Thing is, you would still have to go out and buy a 'thank you' card, and even if you keep a box or pack of 'thank you' cards in the house, (as well as a bunch of second and first class stamps!) you will probably still have great auntie Lucy or nana Jones complaining that it's a generic one from a pack, and she wanted a homemade one!

Then if you make a homemade one, with little bits of 'craft' on it, a regular second or first class stamp isn't going to carry it to the sender, because it will probably be too bulky or heavy. So you will need to go to the post office to see how much it will cost to post. Then you could end up costing you between £1.30 and £1.70 to post it! (As well as the cost of getting to the post office and back.)

So it's not always as simple as it sounds to just write on a card, stick a stamp on it, and pop it in the postbox.

This argument could go on til hell freezes over, but there is no right or wrong. People have the right to complain if they get no thank you letter, (and they have the right to not send any more gifts!) and people have the right to say they don't feel they should have to send a thank you letter, and that a text/email/facebook message will do.

onlyroz

FBaby wrote: »

If you've reached the point when you feel resentment for not having heard a word of thanks, then it is time to stop. In the end, as most have posted here, giving should be unconditional. If reach the point when you expect a thank you back -because you should get one- and you don't get anything, then it's time to stop.

Giving *is* unconditional. Repeated giving, however, becomes tiresome if you never get any hint that your gifts are appreciated.

onlyroz

Jackieboy wrote: »

If you like to send people a thank you letter then you're likely to have stationery etc in the house anyway, it won't be just a once a year thing.

I have no need to send them to anybody but I still have stationery at home - even these days there's often a need to write a letter to somebody like a bank or insurance company - it's just a question of handwriting a letter using the same stationery you'd use normally to print out a business letter.

If I need to write a letter I'll do it at work (:o) - my home printer rarely has enough ink in to cough out any kind of letter. I actually can't remember the last time I sent any kind of business letter through the post. Most things are done via email or online form these days, and all reputable businesses will accept payments via bank transfer rather than having to send a cheque in the post.

We do have a stack of A4 white paper at home - which the kids use for drawing or painting. However, from the responses here I would have thought a note written on plain paper would be far too impersonal for thanking dear old granny with.

Primrose

I keep a stock of really nice cards which are blank inside with no message so that I always have something nice handy if a suitable thank you is needed. Then I make sure I write a long message inside.

Jackieboy

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Regarding the comments about how you can just stick a stamp on a card and post it in the postbox.

Thing is, you would still have to go out and buy a 'thank you' card, and even if you keep a box or pack of 'thank you' cards in the house, (as well as a bunch of second and first class stamps!) you will probably still have great auntie Lucy or nana Jones complaining that it's a generic one from a pack, and she wanted a homemade one!

Then if you make a homemade one, with little bits of 'craft' on it, a regular second or first class stamp isn't going to carry it to the sender, because it will probably be too bulky or heavy. So you will need to go to the post office to see how much it will cost to post. Then you could end up costing you between £1.30 and £1.70 to post it! (As well as the cost of getting to the post office and back.)

So it's not always as simple as it sounds to just write on a card, stick a stamp on it, and pop it in the postbox.

This argument could go on til hell freezes over, but there is no right or wrong. People have the right to complain if they get no thank you letter, (and they have the right to not send any more gifts!) and people have the right to say they don't feel they should have to send a thank you letter, and that a text/email/facebook message will do.

I've never sent a specific thank you card in my life and agree that they're a waste of money - a letter on normal writing paper or printing paper is perfectly ok. I find thank you cards a bit naff but that's just a personal preference.

Jackieboy

onlyroz wrote: »

If I need to write a letter I'll do it at work (:o) - my home printer rarely has enough ink in to cough out any kind of letter. I actually can't remember the last time I sent any kind of business letter through the post. Most things are done via email or online form these days, and all reputable businesses will accept payments via bank transfer rather than having to send a cheque in the post.

We do have a stack of A4 white paper at home - which the kids use for drawing or painting. However, from the responses here I would have thought a note written on plain paper would be far too impersonal for thanking dear old granny with.

I probably write a business letter every couple of months - many important things can't be done by email, some even requiring a letter to be sent by recorded delivery.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Regarding the comments about how you can just stick a stamp on a card and post it in the postbox.

Thing is, you would still have to go out and buy a 'thank you' card, and even if you keep a box or pack of 'thank you' cards in the house, (as well as a bunch of second and first class stamps!) you will probably still have great auntie Lucy or nana Jones complaining that it's a generic one from a pack, and she wanted a homemade one!

Then if you make a homemade one, with little bits of 'craft' on it, a regular second or first class stamp isn't going to carry it to the sender, because it will probably be too bulky or heavy. So you will need to go to the post office to see how much it will cost to post. Then you could end up costing you between £1.30 and £1.70 to post it! (As well as the cost of getting to the post office and back.)

So it's not always as simple as it sounds to just write on a card, stick a stamp on it, and pop it in the postbox.

This argument could go on til hell freezes over, but there is no right or wrong. People have the right to complain if they get no thank you letter, (and they have the right to not send any more gifts!) and people have the right to say they don't feel they should have to send a thank you letter, and that a text/email/facebook message will do.

It's genuinely intriguing to hear of households that have no stamps or writing materials! And what an onerous task posting a letter is for some! I can assure you a couple of stickers and a dab of glitter on a letter does not increase the weight to an excess charge level, and that notelets from a pack are just as appreciated as individually bought ones.

I'm in my late 30s and write regularly to my elderly Nans, one of whom is mostly housebound and really appreciates getting postcards from weekends away. I also like to send little packages to my oldest friend who has a young daughter and lives in New Zealand. Of course we communicate by email, phone and Facebook, but there really is no substitute for a hand-written package with foreign stamps through the letterbox.

I'm aware I'm a Luddite and that the future is moving inexorably towards people conducting their entire life on smartphones, but I think we will lose a lot once all communication is digital.

Lily-Rose_3

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

It's genuinely intriguing to hear of households that have no stamps or writing materials! And what an onerous task posting a letter is for some! I can assure you a couple of stickers and a dab of glitter on a letter does not increase the weight to an excess charge level, and that notelets from a pack are just as appreciated as individually bought ones.

I'm in my late 30s and write regularly to my elderly Nans, one of whom is mostly housebound and really appreciates getting postcards from weekends away. I also like to send little packages to my oldest friend who has a young daughter and lives in New Zealand. Of course we communicate by email, phone and Facebook, but there really is no substitute for a hand-written package with foreign stamps through the letterbox.

I'm aware I'm a Luddite and that the future is moving inexorably towards people conducting their entire life on smartphones, but I think we will lose a lot once all communication is digital.

Yes it CAN make a difference to the weight! I used to have a good friend who wrote lots of penpal letters that I sometimes posted for her, and so I know attaching extra (craft) stuff to the letters can take it over the normal standard letter rate.

And good for you if you enjoy writing letters - but it's not for everyone, so stop assuming everyone should be the same as you.

And good for you if you have the time to go trotting off down to the post office to get your letters weighed (and you better had do that, if it isn't just one sheet in a small envelope, coz granny will get a surcharge of over a pound if you don't put enough postage on it AND she will have to go to the sorting office to retrieve it.)

It always intrigues ME how people think their way is the correct way, and act all aghast at people who don't agree, and think that anyone who thinks differently to them is wrong!