Thank you messages

FBaby

I've recently taken to sending photo messages as a gesture of appreciation to people (e.g. Here's a pretty flower I saw and I thought of you) and I've received some lovely ones in return. You can now also send small sound clips, or fireworks and balloons that light up your phone display. iMessage also lets you send people virtual kisses and hand-drawn pictures. I expect other messaging apps let you do the same. Hardly "mundane".

It's all about putting an effort to show appreciation and making it personal. The idea of taking a picture of something special that made you think of the person and send it with nice words with it is a lovely gesture, but I gathered from the posts here that the reference to texting related to a few impersonal words that required little thought and even less time.

I would rather they kept the gift!

In that case, it's not an issue and becomes a mutual agreement, perfect! However, I expect many people would not take to well to be the only one not opening a Christmas present from a relative on this basis.

annandale

But that's opinion re the texts. I'm pretty sure that the Op said that she would prefer a text to the acknowledgement that she currently gets which is zero.

More thought put into sending a text than sending nothing


And to be fair unless you see the texts people send to one another again that's just opinion that the text would contain a few impersonal words. You can send an email in two minutes as well saying exactly the same thing you might send in a text.

A card might contain a few words. It's not necessarily going to be a long letter as detailed in the post a few posts above.

It all depends on the content of the thank you. I don't think it's necessarily about the way the thank you is delivered

Jackieboy

onlyroz wrote: »

I've recently taken to sending photo messages as a gesture of appreciation to people (e.g. Here's a pretty flower I saw and I thought of you) and I've received some lovely ones in return. You can now also send small sound clips, or fireworks and balloons that light up your phone display. iMessage also lets you send people virtual kisses and hand-drawn pictures. I expect other messaging apps let you do the same. Hardly "mundane".

Now that, to me, sounds like far more faff than putting pen to paper to write a few lines!

onlyroz

Jackieboy wrote: »

Now that, to me, sounds like far more faff than putting pen to paper to write a few lines!

After you've been into town to buy the notepaper and envelope, and then gone to the post office to buy a stamp (and recoiled in horror at the cost of the stamp). In comparison drawing granny a sketch on your phone sounds like far more fun for both parties.

Primrose

If somebody sends me flowers, I email them a photo of what they sent arranged in a suitable vase. I think it's nice for people to see the end product, especially as some online florists may not deliver exactly what the donor requested, and if that's the case, it gives the sender an opportunity to follow up as appropriate if they feel they haven't received value for money.

ska_lover

Stop giving gifts OP, as you clearly aren't giving gifts unconditionally - are you?

Newly_retired

Enough moaning about the thank you I have not received in any shape or form from my nephew and his wife and three children, though I would have been happy with ( in order of preference) a letter, card, email, Facebook message, text.
My question is, what do I do now?
They are back at school so I am not going to get anything from the children, not that I expected it really. I doubt I will hear from the parents either as we do not communicate regularly. I follow them on Facebook, and often "like" their photos, and occasionally comment but they do not reciprocate.
Do I just forget about it and send again next year?
Or not send next year?
Or ask them if it arrived?

I sent the children's presents through the post and by tracking I know the parcel was received, but I don't know if the gift token to the parents arrived.
Apart from a Christmas card, I have heard nothing.
I cannot ask their mum as she is not well.
My niece, sister of said nephew, not only emailed me to say it had arrived, she also sent a photo card of her baby as a thank you. Lovely!

Pollycat

Newly_retired wrote: »

Enough moaning about the thank you I have not received in any shape or form from my nephew and his wife and three children, though I would have been happy with ( in order of preference) a letter, card, email, Facebook message, text.
My question is, what do I do now?
They are back at school so I am not going to get anything from the children, not that I expected it really. I doubt I will hear from the parents either as we do not communicate regularly. I follow them on Facebook, and often "like" their photos, and occasionally comment but they do not reciprocate.
Do I just forget about it and send again next year?
Or not send next year?
Or ask them if it arrived?

I sent the children's presents through the post and by tracking I know the parcel was received, but I don't know if the gift token to the parents arrived.
Apart from a Christmas card, I have heard nothing.
I cannot ask their mum as she is not well.
My niece, sister of said nephew, not only emailed me to say it had arrived, she also sent a photo card of her baby as a thank you. Lovely!

The OP posed the same question and there's 7 pages of opinions for you to read and consider.

Mojisola

Newly_retired wrote: »

Enough moaning about the thank you I have not received in any shape or form from my nephew and his wife and three children

My question is, what do I do now?

I doubt I will hear from the parents either as we do not communicate regularly. I follow them on Facebook, and often "like" their photos, and occasionally comment but they do not reciprocate.

These people sound like strangers - apart from the blood connection.

If you don't have any relationship with them, why keep on sending presents? Your nephew might have memories of you but his children probably don't have a clue who the presents are from.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

These people sound like strangers - apart from the blood connection.

If you don't have any relationship with them, why keep on sending presents? Your nephew might have memories of you but his children probably don't have a clue who the presents are from.

I agree with this ^^^^.

I've seen posts on other threads about buying gifts for family that people haven't seen or spoken to for years.
Ditto for inviting these 'strangers' to your wedding.

Pollycat wrote: »

I really don't get this 'I have to buy a gift for someone because they've bought me something'.

Same as I don't get buying gifts for people just because they are family.

I found this post below - it sounds like the nephew and his family have decided to let the family connection lapse.
I think in the circumstances, I'd be buying for the niece and baby next year and possibly sending some sort of token gift for the nephew's kids and leave it at that.

Newly_retired wrote: »

Being unsure if I would get to see my nephew and his wife and family, I went to quite a bit of trouble to buy presents and send them by post. I have heard nothing. I would be quite happy with an email or message on Facebook. As it is I don't even know if they arrived. This year they haven't bought me a present, though this is the first time.

They live about 35 miles away. I would have driven over but did not have time before Christmas and didn't like to turn up uninvited last week in case other relatives were there. In any case, I had already sent the presents.
Not sure whether to enquire, or just leave it and not send next year.
It really is bad manners.