Thank you messages

Jackieboy

onlyroz wrote: »

After you've been into town to buy the notepaper and envelope, and then gone to the post office to buy a stamp (and recoiled in horror at the cost of the stamp). In comparison drawing granny a sketch on your phone sounds like far more fun for both parties.

If you like to send people a thank you letter then you're likely to have stationery etc in the house anyway, it won't be just a once a year thing.

I have no need to send them to anybody but I still have stationery at home - even these days there's often a need to write a letter to somebody like a bank or insurance company - it's just a question of handwriting a letter using the same stationery you'd use normally to print out a business letter.

Jackieboy

Mojisola wrote: »

These people sound like strangers - apart from the blood connection.

If you don't have any relationship with them, why keep on sending presents? Your nephew might have memories of you but his children probably don't have a clue who the presents are from.

When my aunt died I had the job of contacting the rest of the family. My cousins knew her but the couple of times I had to speak to their adult children (her great grand nieces and nephews) they'd never even heard of her. It was quite sad as she thought they were close family and she spoke of them frequently.:(

Out,_Vile_Jelly

My Nan still has thank you letters from when we were little; her favourite is the one my brother sent saying "Thank you for the pyjamas. I wear them mostly at night."

In 50 years time will people have access to emails and texts sent now? Digital communication seems so ephemeral; I am not sure we appreciate it and store it in a way that will last for future generations. Handwriting is unique, individual and special; it would be a shame to lose it forever because it's less "convenient."

Mojisola

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

My Nan still has thank you letters from when we were little; her favourite is the one my brother sent saying "Thank you for the pyjamas. I wear them mostly at night."

In 50 years time will people have access to emails and texts sent now? Digital communication seems so ephemeral; I am not sure we appreciate it and store it in a way that will last for future generations. Handwriting is unique, individual and special; it would be a shame to lose it forever because it's less "convenient."

I'll bet that still makes her smile when she looks at it.

I've been researching my family history for years and have some cards and letters sent by ancestors which I treasure.

Pollycat

Jackieboy wrote: »

When my aunt died I had the job of contacting the rest of the family. My cousins knew her but the couple of times I had to speak to their adult children (her great grand nieces and nephews) they'd never even heard of her. It was quite sad as she thought they were close family and she spoke of them frequently.:(

That's really sad, but at least she died thinking she had that close connection even if it didn't exist.

fierystormcloud

Newly_retired wrote: »

Enough moaning about the thank you I have not received in any shape or form from my nephew and his wife and three children, though I would have been happy with ( in order of preference) a letter, card, email, Facebook message, text.
My question is, what do I do now?
They are back at school so I am not going to get anything from the children, not that I expected it really. I doubt I will hear from the parents either as we do not communicate regularly. I follow them on Facebook, and often "like" their photos, and occasionally comment but they do not reciprocate.
Do I just forget about it and send again next year?
Or not send next year?
Or ask them if it arrived?

I sent the children's presents through the post and by tracking I know the parcel was received, but I don't know if the gift token to the parents arrived.
Apart from a Christmas card, I have heard nothing.
I cannot ask their mum as she is not well.
My niece, sister of said nephew, not only emailed me to say it had arrived, she also sent a photo card of her baby as a thank you. Lovely!

Don't send anything else to them.

As a few people on here have said, they are strangers apart from the blood connection. It is a sad thing to say or acknowledge or admit, but some extended family members don't care or think that much about others; particularly old great aunts. If they are not acknowledging what you send, I am sorry to say that it's more than likely because they don't really think about you that much. And as harsh as it sounds, your gift is probably lost amongst 100 others - many that they will prefer to yours. If they were asked what great auntie newly-retired got them, there's a 90% chance that they wouldn't be able to say.

Mojisola wrote: »

These people sound like strangers - apart from the blood connection.

If you don't have any relationship with them, why keep on sending presents? Your nephew might have memories of you but his children probably don't have a clue who the presents are from.

This ^^^

I agree with this ^^^^.

I've seen posts on other threads about buying gifts for family that people haven't seen or spoken to for years.

Ditto for inviting these 'strangers' to your wedding.

This too that Pollycat said.

Jackieboy wrote: »

If you like to send people a thank you letter then you're likely to have stationery etc in the house anyway, it won't be just a once a year thing.

I have no need to send them to anybody but I still have stationery at home - even these days there's often a need to write a letter to somebody like a bank or insurance company - it's just a question of handwriting a letter using the same stationery you'd use normally to print out a business letter.

It's not just the stationary though is it? It's the postage too. And often, post needs to be weighed. Many people don't live near a post office and it's a lot of time and effort to get there, and even a basic stamp costs at least 60p. Sending a quick text or email or facebook message makes much more sense.

Primrose

Maybe you just write along the lines. "Sadly I've decided it's time to stop sending presents or gift tokens. It appears that none of them have ever arrived and it's such a shame that the recipients never receive them"

If that doesn't get the message across that they've never bothered to write a thank you letter,they must be impervious to any attempts to induce good manners and are really not worth spending any more angst on.

Jackieboy

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Don't send anything else to them.

As a few people on here have said, they are strangers apart from the blood connection. It is a sad thing to say or acknowledge or admit, but some extended family members don't care or think that much about others; particularly old great aunts. If they are not acknowledging what you send, I am sorry to say that it's more than likely because they don't really think about you that much. And as harsh as it sounds, your gift is probably lost amongst 100 others - many that they will prefer to yours. If they were asked what great auntie newly-retired got them, there's a 90% chance that they wouldn't be able to say.



This ^^^




This too that Pollycat said.




It's not just the stationary though is it? It's the postage too. And often, post needs to be weighed. Many people don't live near a post office and it's a lot of time and effort to get there, and even a basic stamp costs at least 60p. Sending a quick text or email or facebook message makes much more sense.

Perhaps I'm the only one who buys a book of stamps so that when I have to write to the bank etc. I have some in? All I have to do is drop it into a post box at the bottom of the road.

annandale

I can't remember the last time I wrote a letter by hand. I've never had to write to my bank so I wouldn't necessarily have stamps in the house. Most of the letters I have to send tend to come with a stamped addressed envelope. Even so irrespective of whether you have notelets or writing paper in the house you still have to pay for the stamps and if you have a large family you could spend 10 quid a time thanking people for their gifts. I'd personally rather use that money to buy a gift for another person and send my thanks in another way.

FBaby

If you've reached the point when you feel resentment for not having heard a word of thanks, then it is time to stop. In the end, as most have posted here, giving should be unconditional. If reach the point when you expect a thank you back -because you should get one- and you don't get anything, then it's time to stop.

Either they will not care or notice, in which case, you are saving yourself the frustration as well as the money. If the do care, they will get the message and maybe will do something to do/say something that will show they feel bad that they forgot to thank you.