Giving a friend lifts to work, am I wrong for charging him?

Jlawson118

I have a friend who I've known for around 8 years but I've only really been close to him in the last 3/4 years.

Anyway, I went to Amsterdam with him in August and it was a lovely trip, but I ended up buying him things if they were perhaps easier to pay for on card, and when offering me the money I'd tell him not to worry about it, I wasn't bothered.

However, for a few years he's been working through an agency for a job, I recently got a Christmas temp job there and they gave him the same shifts as me, five days a week for four weeks. He asked me if I'd pick him up and take him home and he'd pay me, I told him sure. One week before he started working all week, he worked just one day of the week, I parked outside his house once taking him home and he got his wallet out, I told him to put it away and to sort something out after the next four weeks.

He was asking me how much I wanted, so I suggested maybe £10 per week but he thought it was a little much and within a few weeks, he said he'd give me no less than £25. As a friend I was fine with that. But then he argued and tried to get it down to £20. I wanted at least £30 but I could go to £25. We argued and he agreed but claimed I was ripping him off.

Once we finished, he did give me £25 but was arguing that I'm hardly going out of my way and it isn't costing me too much to pick him up and take him home, and that a real friend wouldn't have charged him. I reminded him for a one off trip it doesn't matter, but five days for four weeks does build up.

I live just short of 9 miles away from where I've been working, he lives just under 4 miles away. I can just go straight down the motorway, turn off and I'm there, but to pick him up I have to drive quite off route, stopping and starting at traffic lights but he doesn't drive so he doesn't really understand that. His friends who drive claim he is also right and I am wrong.

It's making me wonder, was I wrong to charge a friend? (apologies if this is in the wrong place, I thought friendships might class as relationships)

elsien

How much would it cost him to get there otherwise? It's not just the distance, it's any extra travel time for you and the convenience for him.

If he doesn't like it, he knows what he can do. A real friend wouldn't be putting the pressure on and getting his other friends involved. He'd just decline the offer and make his own way, while possibly feeling a little put out.

Spendless

I think if he's going to argue about it with you, it's fair enough for you to say to him that you think it will be better if he just makes his own way to and from work.

Doing someone a favour by giving them a lift, is doing just that. It's the convenience of being dropped off and picked up at the door and often the amount contributed would be far less than having to pay public transport fares.

springdreams

No you are not wrong for charging him, but I think you have made a rod for your own back by constantly refusing his money when he has offered it.

You should have told him in week one that you thought £10 for the week was the acceptable going rate, and let him give it to you there and then. He would then have known what the other weeks would have cost, and could have chosen to either still get a lift from you or make his own way.

I would have wanted to know up front how much I would be expected to pay up. Once you have used the goods / services, it is then not possible to say thanks, but no thanks if you don't like the price.

It is also easier for some people to budget when they know what the cost is going to be, and paying for it as they go, instead of being expected to cough up a lump sum at the end, unless of course they know what that lump sum is going to be, and are agreeable to paying it that way.

Jlawson118

Thanks for your answers guys! I'll just add that if he has a pre-paid bus pass so to get the bus then he doesn't really have to pay anything, but even then he has to use a particular service, the other service that goes there would charge him. But even so, the bus wasn't dropping him off outside his door every night either

Whiteknight

Not wrong for charging at all.

I give someone a lift into work, originally it was only supposed to be for a short period of time, there seems to be no end in sight now and without me they would be unable to get to work. I would rather not have the money from them and not have to detour to pick them up and drop them off.

As already mentioned you should have agreed a price prior to giving the lifts as any issues could have been resolved then.

dktreesea

Charging your friend is fine. It's up to him to work out if it's worth it. £10 a week is £1 each way. You couldn't even travel on our bus service one way for that, even if you had a ride-a-card, and we have the best bus service in Britain (Lothian buses).


I don't get your friend's attitude. He's getting door to door service, doesn't have to use his own car/wait around for a bus.


If that were me, I would be saying to him, "sorry mate, I have to go out of my way each day to pick you up and drop you off, which increases my travelling time by 20 minutes a day. I've decided it just isn't worth my while."

annandale

He's not paying 10 pounds a week though is he? 25 is what was quoted and the OP wanted 30

dktreesea

Yes, which makes it even worse.

springdreams

annandale wrote: »

He's not paying 10 pounds a week though is he? 25 is what was quoted and the OP wanted 30

We know that. £10 per week was what the OP originally proposed the amount be. £25 is the counter offer made by the bloke receiving the lift.

dktreesea

In one way, I get the other guy's attitude. The OP is going to work anyway, so why should it cost anything. But it isn't like that, is it. The OP is actually inconvenienced. He has to modify his route to pick his friend up. This isn't as quick as it may first appear.


Would I add 20 minutes (my best guess, but I bet it's low) a day to my travelling time to pick someone up who is quibbling over £2 a day? Hell, no. My time is worth way more than that to me.