Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017

thorsoak

Has it struck you Mooloo, that maybe Biggest is now feeling worried that as you and BF are getting back together, that she is no longer as "important" to you?

Savvy_sewing

thorsoak wrote: »

Has it struck you Mooloo, that maybe Biggest is now feeling worried that as you and BF are getting back together, that she is no longer as "important" to you?

I don't have a clue anymore

Savvy_Sue

I was one of those who sometimes felt a bit sorry for your DS, when he was a teenager, because a lot more seemed to be expected of him than of his sisters, plus there was the ongoing drama of who was living where with whom, and how many babies were in the mix.

Since DS3 is about his age, I knew pretty much how difficult they sometimes find their teens, and how unpredictable they can be.

However, I was most definitely NEVER saying you weren't doing well enough for him, and I could perfectly well see that you were stretched to the limit.

Plus, whatever you may or may not have done, they are now grownups and it's time for them to deal with whatever 'issues' they have from their childhood!

DS1 once said that he thought it was my role to see that things were 'fair' for him. I said no, it was not. My role in life was to teach all of them that life is tough, life is NOT fair, deal with it.

Hope the house has warmed up and that the bubble bath helped.

Savvy_sewing

Thanks.
I relaxed in the bath, watched Silent Witness and came to bed. I did sleep but woke several times with weird dreams.
I have woken this morning to a really painful finger joint. I suppose I am suffering with the stress of all the sewing I do. I am going to have to keep an eye on it and see about making an appointment with the gp.
I hope it's not the start of arthritis as that would kill my job. I think I will be taking some anti inflammatory today. My joint is hot, red and sore to the touch as well as a deep ache through the finger!
I am thinking that if I am going to get joint troubles then I will have to consider getting a trainee, and or other staff to sew sooner rather than later! I was going to start to advertise in March but I think I will start looking sooner as it may take a while.
As I have had joint problems in the neck, hip and left arm before I am going to have to be realistic and realise that at my age it would be expected with the use of my hands being integral with my job and arthritis being in the family with my Granny, my Mum and my brother. Kind of figures.
I have had twinges before and just put it down to a lot of sewing or writing. I didn't see yesterday but I did a lot on Tuesday and I did write quite a lot yesterday doing my planner and journal etc. What with coming back from warm weather to damp and cold it figures. So I better keep an eye and get it checked out. I have lots of work to do today and I am going to have to just get on with it.
I have been reading a book called Life's Golden Ticket by Brendon Burchard. I think my daughter needs to read it!
I have leant a copy to my neighbour, I think I need to get it back and let DD read it!
I don't have time to ask my self destruct questions and I can't change their opinion of my ability.
I can say I have given all of my children unconditional love, and support and have always been there when they needed me. I am not a bad person, I am just one woman doing all that I could to give her family the best I could.
I am not going to be brow beaten by this. I am not going to be come a victim of their making.

beanielou

So pleased you are not going to be a victim of this.
You are worth so more than that.

ivyleaf

"A mother's place is in the wrong."

Mooloo, you have always done your very best. It always seems to be the mother who gets the blame in this sort of situation, never the father!

Keeping_Motivated

You said its your DD who has said all this not your DS. I wonder if its her who feels this way about herself and is expressing it via your son as when she spoke to him and got involved in how bad things are for him it really pushed a button in her?

She does seem to mop up with her siblings when you are burnt out so it seems to be her who has taken on a parent roll at times and maybe she resents that responsibility if she has had it from a young age.

Maybe she needs some counselling support as venting her resentments to you will just keep her burying her true emotions and stop her working through what is and is not her responsibility.

Savvy_sewing

I text her this morning to let her know that she upset me, and that I realised that she probably didn't mean to, but that it has hurt me deeply.
She has apologised, in a back handed way, probably the best I will get at the moment and DS has responded with a thankyou for the lift he needs Saturday. ( he didn't ask, I offered as Biggest can't always do it).
I don't want tension between us all, but the bank of Mum has closed again!
I cried this morning and staff wondered what on earth was up with me when she arrived.
She kept me going with cups of tea and feeding me sewing jobs and I managed to sew £154 worth. I am ready to go home now as I am cold and sore.

thorsoak

Mooloo wrote: »

I text her this morning to let her know that she upset me, and that I realised that she probably didn't mean to, but that it has hurt me deeply.
She has apologised, in a back handed way, probably the best I will get at the moment and DS has responded with a thankyou for the lift he needs Saturday. ( he didn't ask, I offered as Biggest can't always do it).
I don't want tension between us all, but the bank of Mum has closed again!
I cried this morning and staff wondered what on earth was up with me when she arrived.
She kept me going with cups of tea and feeding me sewing jobs and I managed to sew £154 worth. I am ready to go home now as I am cold and sore.

Well done, Moo -you've got through today and now just one thing ......KEEP THE BANK OF MUM FIRMLY LOCKED, BARRED, BOLTED - AND CLOSED! x

Savvy_sewing

I am determined not to open it again!
I am also not going to arrange my life around them. If I am free I may drive, but I will not cancel plans or anything anymore.
I am still hurting.