Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017

pollyanna_26

Welcome back Mooloo . I hope both you and dgd get a good nights sleep and she settles back to her usual routine .
I'm working my way through 25 years of dds medical records sort out the hard copies I still need to keep - such joy .
If you haven't already had an email Elaine is blogging again . I got a heads up on OS today . Changed my email so didn't get one from the blog .
Take care
polly
Hopefully the return of Elaine will ramp up our motivation

Savvy_sewing

Dgd slept well, is still asleep. I had quite a difficult time getting the tooth fairy to replace her tooth with a coin. Ended up with a £2 as I didn't expect her to loose another tooth. She had it inside a heart on the front of one of my teddies but she was lying on it so it was agonisingly slow prizing it out of her grasp without waking her. Didn't want to give the game away!
I woke several times, and gave up trying at 5.50
So I have had my first cuppa and come down to turn the heating up. I am sitting in my chair with two dressing gowns on, and a picnic blanket across my knees.
My SAD light is on, so I keep up the good work of the Sun that I got in Portugal.
I have checked the bank balance etc and although I have not updated the spreadsheet yet, I can see what money is where, and notice that staff banked £145 yesterday. So money was still coming in while I was away.
I have a fair bit of work to do this morning to get me back into the flow.
The windows people are back again tomorrow so I may have to bring some work home tonight to do.
I am not sure I will be able to sew in the front room though if the windows are out down stairs. I may need to make space in the bedroom.
I am glad to see Elaine's blog back on again as her organised cupboards and menus inspire me to get my act together.
The Thermal cooking bag will get more use now! I had put it away.
I also need to add making some for selling again as I used the last one as a wedding present.
If I am going to be having several small holidays this year, due to dgd and Mum both wanting holidays to Portugal I am on a mission to get converting clutter in to cash.
I only came back with €10 of my spending money. The Easter Holiday is booked and paid for. But I will need spending money and food budget as I am going Self Catering. It will be a holiday just for DGD and myself.
Then last night on Skype Mum asked if we could go at Christmas. Looks like I have converted my family to Portugal then.
BF would like another holiday somewhere but preferably not in the School holidays. That could be a tall order not doable as twin1 would need to come up here to stay rather then dgd going there. I am not sure that is possible this year as her BF is working part time now.
So I better put those thoughts away and get back to the here and now.
I have a business to run and a home to run. I won't get far sitting under a picnic blanket for sure!
Have a good one everyone x

Savvy_Sue

Mooloo wrote: »

BF would like another holiday somewhere but preferably not in the School holidays. That could be a tall order not doable as twin1 would need to come up here to stay rather then dgd going there. I am not sure that is possible this year as her BF is working part time now.

TBH, I think I'd just say to him "I'm sorry, I don't see how that can be possible at the moment because of DGD." How he reacts to that might give a clue to the extent of his change.

Savvy_sewing

Busy day in the shop today.
Managed to sew £211 worth of work today and we took £255 between the cash and card machine.
It was busy while I was away and again after work I did fittings worth £50.
So I should be very busy sewing for the rest of the week.
Lots of coats still coming in.
A booking for one of my courses, and 3 children next week.
A few more on the course would be a great start to the year!
I couldn't be happier with the start back to work.
I haven't reached target but I was being ambitious.
Considering I was only open 3 days the first week, and although we were open 5 days I only sewed for 3 1/2 days.
I am home tomorrow to have the rest of the windows and doors done tomorrow so I will work on the paper work etc at home.

Savvy_sewing

Well the back door has been hacked out, as has the bathroom window.
Needless to say it is now open to the elements and freezing in here. No door between the kitchen and sitting room to shut so I may have to go upstairs for a bit!
A good opportunity to attack my bedroom clutter perhaps?
A job I hate though.

Savvy_sewing

Cancel that last plan. I have been working on the business planning and my personal SOA etc.
I have managed to overspend on my January food budget already. So my urgent task is to meal plan so I rein it in for the next 6 weeks to get the budget back on track for the end of February.
I am huddled up in the bedroom with the front of the house down stairs open to the elements, and last I looked the back door needed glass as did the bathroom window.
I am lucky that I have the cammode on hand if I get caught short!
I am about to raid the fridge for the pasta dinner I picked up from the yellow sticker corner yesterday as I am hungry after missing breakfast too.

Savvy_sewing

Finally I have my new windows and doors in.
Now it's time to warm up the place again.
I had a long phone call from Biggest today and she's been helping her brother. The house is now being tackled and she gave them the lecture etc as they were helped to see the mess they were in. Emotional moment with DS at the weekend as she did the work run that I normally do.
DS and his GF are both depressed, and lost their way somewhere. She is trying to help them to get order back to the chaos.
There was a lot more said and some of it echoing people on here saying that I neglected DS because of twins, babies etc. I was listening and it was not easy to hear your children tell you that you are to blame for them being the way they are because you were a single mum working all the time.
I don't agree with all the blame being mine, but I understand that I couldn't be everything all the time. I did the best I could and I cannot change what ever they are blaming me for. I feel like the scapegoat for their inadequacy disappointed that my skills as a mother were not good enough.
Despite my trying to teach them budgeting, cooking and household skills I failed.
I feel like I have been kicked in the stomach.
I knew I wasn't perfect, I knew I struggled with the twins, and I tried to get the help we needed as a family and I worked hard to give them holidays, food always on the table, Christmas, birthdays, clothes and shoes. I had family meeting times to try to keep us on track and communicating.
But apparently I didn't do it well enough!
Wonder why I have dgd then if I am so bad a role model?
And yes, I am feeling lost and am hurting, and yes I will probably get lash back from somewhere but as I have always been honest in my posts then I am telling it how I feel at the moment.

I didn't like facing her opinion,

surveyqueenuk

Mooloo wrote: »

it was not easy to hear your children tell you that you are to blame for them being the way they are because you were a single mum working all the time.

Mooloo, I am not buying this! Honestly, what a steaming great big pile of bovine manure. Let me tell you something, if you hadn't worked and just claimed, it'd be all "We never had anything when we grew up, that's why we are the way we are".

Really, do they have no insight into the way life works? What would they rather you did? Starved on the breadline or stayed in an unhappy marriage? It is far easier to blame someone else than it is to take responsibility for yourself. DS and GF are wholly responsible for their situation. They chose to have a child in the first place and I'm sure there's a damn sight more they could be doing to help themselves. They did not get into the mess they are in because you were overstretched all those years ago.

As an outsider, looking in, it seems to me that they are just trying to guilt trip you into providing shopping and lifts again.

Brighton_belle

I note you get all the blame Mooloo and not his 'father'. Typical. If his dad had shown slightly more interest in his son, let alone financially helped to show his love and commitment to him, DS's self esteem might not have been so low and been able to make better life choices.

beanielou

Don't listen to this.
I am also a sp.
My DS is now in his early twenties and in final year of university.
We have had some very very rocky patches.
I did the best I could for him as I am sure you did too.
They are adults and have to take responsibility.