How do I tell my daughter she is overweight?

BrassicWoman

I loathe my mother for being unable to see past my weight when younger, and just love me for who I am/was. Parental love should be a near unconditional as you can make it. It's affected our relationship ever since.

Leave your daughter alone and let her enjoy her day.

tesuhoha

Proxima_Centauri wrote: »

Many larger ladies look perfectly ok, because they know what clothes suit them


I think the issue is not so much that the girl is overweight, but that she crams herself into the most hideously unsuitable outfits, trying to kid herself that she's a slinky size 10.

The issue is weight though, not from the appearance aspect of it so much (though that does not help a teenager's self esteem) but from the health side of it. Setting herself up for obesity at an early age with all its specific problems like heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure should not be ignored.

The other side of it though is the emotional stuff. Weight gain/loss should not have any kind of emotional baggage attached to it. Men seem to be able to do this better than women. As with the poster's son earlier they notice they have a bit of extra fat round the middle so they hit the gym or start running to do something about it. Some women seem to attach all kinds of emotions to weight loss when all it needs is a practical solution.

patchwork_cat

Someone said that the only clothes for larger girls are kaftans is not true, New look has most items up to size 18 and river island has plenty upto 18. If she has good legs then show her how to exploit her good points. What would Gok do? He would balance the body and show off her good points. You have to say in nice terms let's go shopping and get her some bras and right size clothes.

dirty_magic

tesuhoha wrote: »

If you can afford it you could buy both of you gym membership. Say to her 'I really need to hit the gym and I'd love you to come with me as its not a lot of fun on your own.' If she says no you could say you think it would benefit her and it would help her to look her best in that dress. Or take up swimming/jogging and ask her to come with you. Make it a 'girls trying to get fit together' thing.

The other thing you could do is start cooking family meals out of this book. There are some lovely things in there and it doesn't feel like a diet. I particularly recommend the Spanish chicken and the burgers.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hairy-Dieters-Love-Food-Weight/dp/0297870432/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1483190688&sr=8-2&keywords=hairy+bikers+diet+book

The hairy bikers chicken and ham tangle pie is amazing too! You can get some of the recipes online, definitely try some of them!

Person_one

tesuhoha wrote: »

The issue is weight though, not from the appearance aspect of it so much (though that does not help a teenager's self esteem) but from the health side of it. Setting herself up for obesity at an early age with all its specific problems like heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure should not be ignored.

There's a lot of faux concern expressed about weight, but a woman wearing a size 16 is not likely to be causing herself serious health problems. There is more to health than weight, and its perfectly possible to be fit and healthy and a size 16. We aren't meant to be 'fat free', especially not women, and its actually much healthier to be a little bit overweight than a little bit underweight.

The OP is a nurse I believe but she doesn't mention her daughter's health at all, her concern is just about the way she looks.

tesuhoha

dirty_magic wrote: »

The hairy bikers chicken and ham tangle pie is amazing too! You can get some of the recipes online, definitely try some of them!

I haven't tried that one yet but I will. Got some leftover ham from Christmas.

Bogalot

The personal shopper idea is great, but make sure it's somewhere that is going to have appropriate clothes that will fit. If she is size 16 minimum, does that mean she's more likely bigger? If so I would avoid John Lewis and House of Fraser, their larger sizes tend to cater for older customers. Debenhams would be an idea, plus their bra fitting is pretty good and their own brand bras are well priced. River Island do a stylist service in London and Birmingham.

Others may have more suggestions?

tesuhoha

Person_one wrote: »

There's a lot of faux concern expressed about weight, but a woman wearing a size 16 is not likely to be causing herself serious health problems. There is more to health than weight, and its perfectly possible to be fit and healthy and a size 16. We aren't meant to be 'fat free', especially not women, and its actually much healthier to be a little bit overweight than a little bit underweight.

The OP is a nurse I believe but she doesn't mention her daughter's health at all, her concern is just about the way she looks.

Size 16 is an okay weight to be but someone who is size 16 at 18 may well not stay that weight as she goes through life. Some people can be size 16 and not look at all overweight as its distributed but if you are small boned and every bit of extra fat shows or its in one place then its not healthy.

The mother is saying that her daughter's belly is huge. That is very unhealthy for the internal organs and the heart in particular.

System

Mom told me i was fat, hubby used to remind me (he doesnt anymore) that i am too but no one needed to tell me, i already knew (know).

By telling me, all i wanted to do was eat cake. She'll realize soon enough.

Last year i told myself i needed to lose weight (i'm in my 50s). I knew, it just didnt matter to me before.

Still dont know my weight but ive dropped two dress sizes in 12 months (not a lot i know) and i want to drop another 2 dress sizes in the coming new year. It wont get me down to my slimmest size 12 but it will be good enough for me.

I actually was brave enough to get the tape measure out last night. No guesswork, just fact.

Proxima_Centauri

tesuhoha wrote: »

Size 16 is an okay weight to be but someone who is size 16 at 18 may well not stay that weight as she goes through life.

16 is large (especially vanity size 16, as opposed to the old measurements) but a lot would depend on her height, which the OP doesn't mention. 5 foot 10 and size 16 is obviously quite different from 5 foot 1 and size 16.