From debt to freedom...

jennystarpepper

Honey... I have read your diary for a long time now and think you are an amazing mother and such a strong person. I have been  / was  a victim of domestic abuse and after reading for a long time now understand your struggles.

If I can make A suggestion... can you put a webcam up... (if your bedroom / main is at the front of the house see who comes in and out, or in the living room/ family room)....it will not cost much but you will have proof if unwanted guests come in / out / take things.  X2 will be better.  

I would not tell any of the children, sometimes ignorance is bliss, I think it would be easy to hide... the only reason I say this is because those who abuse us have an addiction to us and they struggle to accept change / can't alter habits.  I do not say this to worry you, but just to confirm what I think you already know.... hope you understand. 

DD3 has A wise head....  and as I always say ' hold fast' you can do it. XX

janb5

Hi HSL- do the solicitors have an end date in mind with your divorce?  It all started way back in 2016 and as an active stalker on your posts, I have followed your posts!

When I chose my solicitor I said I wanted it done in 6 months!  It didn`t happen as soon as that due to my ex`s ` delays` but I`m curious as to why you are still waiting so long.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Maggiem, Kittykattykate, Humdinger, SH, Jennystarpepper and Janb5.

Kittykattykate - Thankfully the ex no longer cooks here. It was made clear to him by the solicitor that now he had his home, he had no need to be here. That has been a huge relief and also helped with feeling more secure at home.

jennystarpepper - Thank you for taking the time to post. That is a good idea and I will look into sourcing a webcam. Your post does confirm what I already suspected...my second thought after the relief at the progress made last week, was what will he do now? I have no concerns for physical safety because he knows I wouldn’t hesitate to call the police if that were necessary...it’s more on the emotional level or trying to make life awkward for me.

Janb5 - it’s incredible how long the journey has taken! I haven’t asked when the end date will be although my solicitor did give an estimated time line a couple of years ago which has been exceeded, through no fault of the solicitor, more having to dealt with procrastination or non- compliance from the ex. Part of the delay is due to having to use process servers as I had no idea of the ex’s abode and therefore nowhere to send any papers. Hopefully it shouldn’t be too much longer now.

Honeysucklelou2

Sunday was a relaxing day...the weather was glorious and aided in the drying of a couple of loads of washing. I was able to get to the beach with the youngest DCs and DD3. The tide was really low so it was possible to walk from cove to cove. The children enjoyed looking at the shells and stones again! I love looking at the colours of the rocks and the expanse of mussel shells and barnacles that cling to the surface of the rock. DS3 and I wandered over the rocks and explored the larger rock pools that the low tide allowed us to access. The beauty of the various types of seaweed sitting serenely within the rock pool reminded me that each pool is a balanced micro habitat. DS was so excited to see small fish dart across the rock pool seeking the shelter of the seaweed. We saw something, that I think is a type of sea anemone, but rather than the usual red colour, it was a vivid green with purple tips on the “ tentacle “ parts. One of those golden afternoons that you want to go on!

Parkyp

Sunday sounds lovely, I’ll would love to live that close to nature. 

Getting the washing out to dry makes us all happy 😀 

Sun_Addict

I’m glad your stressful days of the saga with the ex are balanced out by your lovely days at the beach. This dreadful business with him has been going on for far too long. Good idea about the web cams. 

savingholmes

Really glad your home is now more private. 

Love your descriptions of the sea creatures

Kittykattykate

I am glad for the modicum of peace have now, Lou. I’m sure the elderly lurcher also enjoys it. You all deserve it SO much. 

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Parkyp, SA, SH & Kittykattykate.

Kittykattykate - you are right, both the elderly lurcher and DD2’s dog that seems to have stayed here, are both benefitting from the peace.

Today has been an odd day. It was an unexpected day off as one of the younger DCs was off colour to the point of needing a PCR which was thankfully negative. The extra time has given me chance to catch up on paperwork for Job 1 and order some heating oil. I was absolutely astounded that in a week since I researched the quote, the price has gone up from £314 to £356😳😳😳😳😳. Savings are somewhat dented.

themadvix

We’re moving to somewhere on oil and having researched it at the beginning of September and then again the other day, I, too, was horrified! I know it goes up in price in winter, but I assume it’s not normally quite so dramatic?