OH been accused of having an affair

Robisere

Whether this scenario is true or not, I think that the dissection of the OP's original and later posts, has become repetitive and boring.

I suggest, OP, that you post as throwing in the towel here and state that you will not return to it.

Unless it's all Porkies, in which case, carry on with the - er - thrilling narrative. I'm out.

MilkNoSugar

Thank you for all the responses whether you believed my issue or not. I am aware that my insecurities are blinding me. We have done little else but thrash this out, and discuss it, and many other things about our relationship. If we are to move forward, I think underlying issues have to be dealt with too. I'm aware of my passive aggressive tendencies, and OH just buries his head in the sand. He has told me more about the texting. He still wants to find the bloke who hit him, but I've pointed out that if the guy really did believe it was him, wasn't he justified?
Anyway, as suggested above, I am going to leave this now. There's little to be gained trying to come back to justify what has effectively been a nightmare few days for me. On reflection I was probably wrong to have even posted here. Not being believed made me feel the need to keep justifying things, when I'm actually living it anyway, why do I need to feel more rubbish?
I will slink back away now. It's made me aware that MSE is now a different place than it was. I do remember the StudentPhil threads all those years ago. I was more used to responding on this part of the forum than creating a thread.

Ms_Chocaholic

One thing that (I think) has been asked before but I don't think has been answered - has he had the opportunity to have an affair with this woman, does he go on business trips, nights away with the lads, more trips than usual, etc.

MilkNoSugar

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

One thing that (I think) has been asked before but I don't think has been answered - has he had the opportunity to have an affair with this woman, does he go on business trips, nights away with the lads, more trips than usual, etc.

I may have missed that before, sorry!

No. In hindsight he would need to have magic powers to create the time/opportunity. It's one of the main reasons I am choosing to believe him. He is a creature of routine, goes to/from work same time, goes to gym same time, and he is seen there by mutual friends of mine & children.
All our weekends & spare time are spent at home, or we go out together. If anything I am the one who goes out to socialise and he is at home with the kids. His main hobby is home based, so doesn't need to go away from home. He did try to rationalise this to me, but I had already realised it. The nature of his workplace would make it impossible to do so there - I've been there, it would be the same at mine, just not possible, you'd have to do so out of office hours.

Ms_Chocaholic

Thank you for clarifying that milknosugar and sorry to pry but thought the question was relevant.

FBaby

Good luck OP, I'm sure you can work through the issues. Maybe one day you'll look back and almost be thankful because it brought out the elephant in the room and allowed you to tackle buried issues that would have resurfaced at some point anyway. You now have the opportunity to look into your insecurities and discuss how to find a right balance between him trying to acknowledge that they are there and therefore minimise the opportunities to bring them on and you to recognise that people need to be themselves and that if you expect them to be on constant alert to reassure you, they burn out at some point.

[Deleted User]

Wish you well MilkNoSugar. Many do believe you, there are just some people on the forum who post a lot more that seem to enjoy the buzz their attitude gives them. You are quite right, you wanted help (and should get it) not to be forced into justifying everything you've said

All I can say is, pity them because their view of the world must be a very miserable one!

PeacefulWaters

deannatrois wrote: »

Wish you well MilkNoSugar. Many do believe you, there are just some people on the forum who post a lot more that seem to enjoy the buzz their attitude gives them. You are quite right, you wanted help (and should get it) not to be forced into justifying everything you've said

All I can say is, pity them because their view of the world must be a very miserable one!

You missed the contradictory information earlier in the thread then.

Pop_Up_Pirate

Wow. Biggest lot of c o c k and bull I've read for ages.

Can't trust anything on here any more.

Rain_Shadow

MilkNoSugar wrote: »

I will slink back away now. It's made me aware that MSE is now a different place than it was. I do remember the StudentPhil threads all those years ago. I was more used to responding on this part of the forum than creating a thread.

At least everyone knew he was made up.