17 y/o girl and 29 y/o guy? should the guy know better?

missbiggles1

Guest101 wrote: »

I think you'd be wrong


What difference does it make? So it's ok for her to sleep with another 17 year old, but not 29?


I mean that is what we're alluding to really as it's just about age.


How many 17 year old lads do you know? Drinking in a park? Drugs? Yep that's a great choice


Or a 29 year old who's hopefully got his head screwed on?

People who are inclined to drink and drug don't stop when they're older, they just do it in more comfort. (And 17 year old girls will be there in the park as well!)

My comment about parenthood was because you didn't seem to have the protective streak that most parents have (and I don't mean helicoptering or wrapping in cotton wool) rather than anything else. For me, you'd have to wonder what was the appeal (apart from the obvious) of a 17 year old girl for a 29 year old man and what were his motives. In the vast majority of cases, it's unlikely to be a relationship between equals.

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

People who are inclined to drink and drug don't stop when they're older, they just do it in more comfort. (And 17 year old girls will be there in the park as well!) - That's just nonsense, plenty of people have turbulent teenage years and become perfectly upstanding members of society. Yes the 17 year old girls are there too, but my point is, where would you rather your daughter be?

My comment about parenthood was because you didn't seem to have the protective streak that most parents have - I do, but part of that is bringing them up to be young adults / old children who make their own sensible choices. At aged 17, I would expect them to be able to decide what they do and who thy do it with. - (and I don't mean helicoptering or wrapping in cotton wool) rather than anything else. For me, you'd have to wonder what was the appeal (apart from the obvious) of a 17 year old girl for a 29 year old man and what were his motives. - I'd suggest he'd quite like to sleep with her, I suspect she may like to reciprocate. In the vast majority of cases, it's unlikely to be a relationship between equals.

It's never a relationship between 'equals', but does that matter? Are you equal to your partner / husband?

marisco_2

CruisingSaver wrote: »

As a Mum to a 17 year old girl I'd be furious if a 29 year old man was cosying up to my daughter. Even with the most mature of 17 year olds there's a massive difference in age and experience to bridge.

Just no!

Can totally understand where you are coming from. However making your feelings clear could risk pushing them further together. As happened when my parents disapproved of a very similar situation when my sister was that age.

missbiggles1

Guest101 wrote: »

It's never a relationship between 'equals', but does that matter? Are you equal to your partner / husband?

I totally disagree - most successful relationships are between equals - why would you want or expect anything else?

AnnieO1234

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I totally disagree - most successful relationships are between equals - why would you want or expect anything else?

That depends on your definition of equal though surely? Equal could be the same goals, the same perspectives, the same intellect - any or all of those things.

Marvel1

Do you want children?

unholyangel

Guest101 wrote: »

Actually by definition if something is legal, it is 'ok' otherwise it would be illegal. Just your moral compass points differently to mine.

If you want to be a pedant about it, to be legal it would need to be expressly permitted by law - rather than illegal by having law expressly prohibiting it.

You're basically saying that nearly anything thats not criminal is a moral judgement - and that obviously isn't the case or we wouldn't have civil/common law.

Perhaps just a wrong choice of words on your part though so I repeat, even if something isn't illegal, it doesn't mean that its okay to do.

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I totally disagree - most successful relationships are between equals - why would you want or expect anything else?

So you and your SO have equal salaries, equal chore share, equal free time, equal goals, etc?

Fairness and equality are two different things in my book, and really you want fairness in a partner.

Guest101

unholyangel wrote: »

If you want to be a pedant about it, to be legal it would need to be expressly permitted by law - rather than illegal by having law expressly prohibiting it.

You're basically saying that nearly anything thats not criminal is a moral judgement - and that obviously isn't the case or we wouldn't have civil/common law.

Perhaps just a wrong choice of words on your part though so I repeat, even if something isn't illegal, it doesn't mean that its okay to do.

To be pedantic that's incorrect. It is legal to do anything not prohibited by the law. There is no 'breathing' act....

I made no distinction between civil, criminal or common law. That was your rather bizarre point.

CruisingSaver

marisco wrote: »

Can totally understand where you are coming from. However making your feelings clear could risk pushing them further together. As happened when my parents disapproved of a very similar situation when my sister was that age.

Err you do know that this isn't about my daughter don't you?

I think if we're at the stage of the thread where things are being made up then I'm out!