17 y/o girl and 29 y/o guy? should the guy know better?

divadee

My 19 year old is dating a 26 year old. They have been together a year and genuinely so happy and get on so well together.

But it depends on the people involved in my opinion.

Marvel1

Male 34, even when I was 25, I wasn't looking at anyone that young.

fitnessguy1

cjdavies wrote: »

Male 34, even when I was 25, I wasn't looking at anyone that young.

i wasn't looking for a 17 year old. i wasn't even looking, but we just met and had a good chat, got to know her, but didn't realise she was 17 at the time. she didn't look that much older, but she doesn't look that young either. i would have guessed maybe 20/21. until she told me she was 17 (after i got her number and we spoke on phone and texted back n forth) i had no idea of her age.

clairec79

What sort of life situation is she in?

A 17 year old who has left home and is working is a very different situation to me than a 17 year old who is still in school

fitnessguy1

GlasweJen wrote: »

I turned 30 this year and I am in contact with many 16 and 17 year olds through volunteering. I can't think of much we have in common at all. I feel ancient when dealing with this age group.

i'm not trying to justify why we should date at all, but we do have things in common. she spoke about her training (we met at the gym) and her fitness goals etc, what she does outside of training like yoga classes. i spoke about how i am trying to learn yoga and stretching, just little things like that.

milliemonster

I'm the mum to a 17 yr old girl and when I was 18 I was attracted to a 30 yr old man who wanted an affair with me (I didnt, he was married with a child at the time but I was swept away in it all) I would be horrified if a 29 year old man was pursuing my daughter, why? Because whilst she turns 18 in a month, in her nature she is naive, young, at college just starting out in life, plans for uni etc, and I don't understand why a 29 year old man would want be interested in someone at that stage in their lives? I get large age gaps, but not when one is still a teenager themselves, whether that's a male or a female.

fitnessguy1

clairec79 wrote: »

What sort of life situation is she in?

A 17 year old who has left home and is working is a very different situation to me than a 17 year old who is still in school

she works full time, but did speak about wanting to be a yoga teacher and set up a blog dedicated to healthy eating etc as she is a vegan.

fitnessguy1

DCFC79 wrote: »

Have you split from the girlfriend in the other thread ?

Should you not take a break from it ?

i wasn't looking for anything, and i'm still not particularly looking for anything serious, but if things did materialise with this girl then maybe, just maybe i would think about dating.

it's only been 2 days, and at the moment we just been occasionally texting and speaking on the phone. i was thinking about asking her for a coffee, but we'll see.

fitnessguy1

Lambyr wrote: »

What strikes me more than the age thing is this...

"i like you, never had someone be interested in me and my life like you are"

Sounds like the girl has very low self-esteem, probably not done too well romantically and may be latching on to the first person who seems to have taken an interest - and interestingly, you say you only took a shine to her after she'd told you that she liked you.

Before you think about relationships or anything else, if you're a nice guy, I'd be sure to make sure she's not vulnerable.

well of course i find her attractive, but at the time i never approached her with that intention in mind. i was purely starting innocent, friendly conversation, but as we continued to chat we had things in common which was nice and the conversation wasn't awkward or one sided, and she could hold her own banter wise

missbiggles1

nickyhutch wrote: »

Why does 4 months make a difference? She's not going to be suddenly different, and neither are you. The gap will remain the same.

If you like her, and she likes you, there's no reason why not to continue talking to or seeing her. Just see how things go.

My bf is 22 years younger than me; the gap is there, but it doesn't mean we can't have a relationship.

Age gaps and their effect on relationships are very dependent on the ages of the people involved. I doubt many people would feel particularly positive about a relationship between a young person of 17 and someone of 39.