17 y/o girl and 29 y/o guy? should the guy know better?

fitnessguy1

i should say "should I know better" because i am referring to myself. so lately i been a bit down. i met this girl couple days ago, innocent interaction and then she said out the blue "i like you, never had someone be interested in me and my life like you are" and for a moment i took a shine to her and got her number. we started texting and our chat was flirty, bit of banter and we spoke on the phone and continued the flirty banter.

at this point never knew her age, but then she texted me this morning and said "i need you to know i am 17 btw, do you mind this?" i said no, which looking back now i should not have said. i text her about an hour ago asking when she is 18, she replied 4 months.

how should i go about this situation? i know the age gap is large, but given her age it would be even more frowned upon. she is legal obviously, but not thinking about sex right now considering the circumstance. should i leave it be or try keep things going and see it goes, then when she turns 18 think more seriously about the friendship?

fitnessguy1

i am trying not to think about dating her. she is still so much younger, but i dunno in this moment she is very nice and we seem to click. i feel i am committing a sin though even talking to her.

Proxima_Centauri

I think your last sentence is correct, maybe leave anything more serious until she's 18.

comeandgo

What a lot of Trollope. What difference does waiting four months mean. You can still talk or is it text these days. Plenty of 17 years old are mature, I was married at 17. If you like each other talk, text or whatever. As you say, it's not got to sex yet and may never, she likes you at the moment, nothing else. Does she know your age?

nickyhutch

Why does 4 months make a difference? She's not going to be suddenly different, and neither are you. The gap will remain the same.

If you like her, and she likes you, there's no reason why not to continue talking to or seeing her. Just see how things go.

My bf is 22 years younger than me; the gap is there, but it doesn't mean we can't have a relationship.

FredG

I've met wonderfully mature 18 year olds and woefully immature 30 year olds, sometimes these behaviours are reversed.


Advising these situations is always dependent on the factors in play. Trust your gut.

CruisingSaver

As a Mum to a 17 year old girl I'd be furious if a 29 year old man was cosying up to my daughter. Even with the most mature of 17 year olds there's a massive difference in age and experience to bridge.

Just no!

Bogalot

You had a girlfriend two days ago. What happened to her?

fitnessguy1

Bogalot wrote: »

You had a girlfriend two days ago. What happened to her?

well no i didn't. we are not together at the moment and i don't believe we'll get back together, the relationship just isn't right for me or us.

if i was in a serious relationship i wouldn't actively pursue anyone else. anyway this isn't a relationship, just a friendship at the moment as i only met the girl 2 days ago.

fitnessguy1

CruisingSaver wrote: »

As a Mum to a 17 year old girl I'd be furious if a 29 year old man was cosying up to my daughter. Even with the most mature of 17 year olds there's a massive difference in age and experience to bridge.

Just no!

i accept what you are saying. i am not even sure myself because of the age difference. i understand how a parent would feel, but surely if the friendship did materialise into something more serious and your daughter was happy, would you not at least give the guy a chance to talk with you about the situation before writing him off?

fitnessguy1

nickyhutch wrote: »

Why does 4 months make a difference? She's not going to be suddenly different, and neither are you. The gap will remain the same.

If you like her, and she likes you, there's no reason why not to continue talking to or seeing her. Just see how things go.

My bf is 22 years younger than me; the gap is there, but it doesn't mean we can't have a relationship.

i understand what you're saying, but there's a difference between you and your bf ages, compared to a guy my age dating a girl of 17. people frown upon this stuff in today's society. an older woman with a younger man is more a case of kudos to the woman. it's odd how society thinks sometimes.