Spending Christmas day on your own

Nicki

I hate these references to "the pity invite"! We've often had extras at Christmas lunch or over Christmas. They've always been friends or family of whom we've been extremely fond, and they've been invited not simply because they would otherwise be on their own but because we've genuinely wanted to spend the day with them. I'd be gutted if I thought any of my friends who have spent Christmas Day with us over the years had been inwardly cringing or felt themselves to be patronised by being invited

Skint_yet_Again

prosaver wrote: »

why dont you have christmas early on christmas eve have a big party go out a get wasted with your son.

:rotfl:
nice idea but he's working 23rd - 28th and has to stay sober for the driving commute. For some reason it's just the thought of Christmas day that's been bothering me.

Nicki wrote: »

I hate these references to "the pity invite"! We've often had extras at Christmas lunch or over Christmas. They've always been friends or family of whom we've been extremely fond, and they've been invited not simply because they would otherwise be on their own but because we've genuinely wanted to spend the day with them. I'd be gutted if I thought any of my friends who have spent Christmas Day with us over the years had been inwardly cringing or felt themselves to be patronised by being invited

Nicki I'm sure your friends don't see you as a "pity" invite, especially if you are close friends and you would have them over any time of year not just for Christmas.
The pity invite is more from people who wouldn't normally invite you round but make it obvious you are invited as you are a sad lonely individual with no real friends. I would have just liked an invite, pitying or otherwise

lincroft1710

Towser wrote: »

It's part of the reason why I got married and had children to avoid xmas on my own.

I hope it was a small part!

annandale

I live on my own
Have done for 20 years now. I go to my mums at Xmas but I've also worked it.

Volunteered in hostels. Worked in hostels.

Nothing like trying to comfort someone who is breaking their heart because their family don't want them for Xmas to make you appreciate what you have, lots of young people in the hostel used to go home for Xmas but some didn't and they were heartbroken

Dare I say it if someone struggles to be on their own for 12 hours at new year they need a reality check

As for pity invites. I live on my own all year long with no issues. If I invited someone to share Xmas with me it wouldn't be out of pity and I would hope that would be vice versa

There are many people over 65 who spend Xmas alone, lots of people newly bereaved.

I'd rather try and do something for them than have someone pity me because I live on my own.

Maybe the person who struggled being on her own from 6pm to 6am might feel better knowing that millions of elderly people don't see anyone. Christmas included.

And one thing people who live on their own don't need is pity for being single. As if it's automatic that if you live on your own you'll struggle being on your own at Xmas.

Some people will and some people do need support.

I'd rather try and give that support to someone else who needed it than feel sorry for myself.

I'm.quite happy being on my own every other day of the year. I don't fall to bits being single at Xmas.

I used to cook a Xmas dinner for teens who had no one at Xmas. Young people sitting crying because other people in the hostel had family to go home to at Xmas and they had no one.

Lots of people have it tough all year round,

Pity invite. Patronising guff, as is assuming that some people who spend Xmas day on their own are to be pitied. If someone invited me for Xmas dinner I'd thank them. Why are people to be pitied just because they are single

Apparently the number of domestic violence cases rise at Xmas which might go to show even if people do have families, it's not necessarily happy.

If people are lonely, they'll be lonely all year round and not just at Xmas and maybe it's time people looked out for one another a bit more rather than give suggestions as to how single people might spend the festive season

Honestly. Have heard it all that someone being on their own for 12 hours at new year considered themselves lonely.

Major realty check needed as far as I'm concerned

And if all people can do is tattle about other peoples Xmas plans, they need to get a life.

Aced2016

chella wrote: »

I would rather stay on my own than accept a pity invite from people who might not really want me there.


Maybe your friends don't think you are bothered about being on your own/maybe you come across as a strong independent individual??


I have spent a couple of Christmases alone. I stayed in my pjs, drank bubbly for breakfast, had my favourite scrambled eggs and bacon. I watched everything I wanted to on tv. I cooked a dinner just for me, a roast chicken and trimmings, enough for bubble and squeak. I browsed the online sales and generally had a very nice day. The day will be what you make it, though I am aware that I am very happy in my own company, and you may not be so comfortable??

You sound exactly like me lol

missbiggles1

Towser wrote: »

My family used to drive me nuts and could not wait to have the TV to myself with everything I like, the way I like it. Just as other posters have said.

I spent one Christmas on my own and cried. I thought I would be strong enough. I will never do it again. I also turned down the pity invite but wish I hadn't because the party probably would have been good.

It's part of the reason why I got married and had children to avoid xmas on my own.

I worry when I am old and crumbly and no-one wants to visit me then. I shall have to be in a home.

Seriously?

missbiggles1

Nicki wrote: »

I hate these references to "the pity invite"! We've often had extras at Christmas lunch or over Christmas. They've always been friends or family of whom we've been extremely fond, and they've been invited not simply because they would otherwise be on their own but because we've genuinely wanted to spend the day with them. I'd be gutted if I thought any of my friends who have spent Christmas Day with us over the years had been inwardly cringing or felt themselves to be patronised by being invited

When friends that you know to love a visitor free Christmas invite somebody recently bereaved over, you know it's a pity invite, however kindly and well meant. (Although nobody except you described it as patronising.)

suki1964

Towser wrote: »

My family used to drive me nuts and could not wait to have the TV to myself with everything I like, the way I like it. Just as other posters have said.

I spent one Christmas on my own and cried. I thought I would be strong enough. I will never do it again. I also turned down the pity invite but wish I hadn't because the party probably would have been good.

It's part of the reason why I got married and had children to avoid xmas on my own.

I worry when I am old and crumbly and no-one wants to visit me then. I shall have to be in a home.

I don't mean to come across as rude, but seriously?

Have you never lived on your own?

annandale

Rude? Not in the slightest

suki1964

annandale wrote: »

Rude? Not in the slightest

Oh please

Don't pm me then block me from replying

Either keep it in pm and allow me my reply or say what you want to say in public