Spending Christmas day on your own

seven-day-weekend

We invited a neighbour of our son's who we have got to know, last year for Christmas dinner, as she would have been on her own, and she is coming again this year.

My son's friend may be coming,it depends upon whether he can afford the fare to get to his parents. Don't know yet. I said he could come even if we don't know until the day. One more won't make any difference food-wise, there will be plenty.

My mum, and my son and his partner will also be there. (And of course my husband, in fact he is the chief cook!! ).

I don't really like Christmas, so may as well use the day to do some good.

I wouldn't mind being on my own, providing it wasn't because I had lost my loved ones. If they were just doing something else, I woudn't mind.

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

Blimey ....


I'll be on my own "proper alone". Just me. Actually, I've not spoken to anybody else since the first week of November, and I've even had a birthday since then (got 1 card, 0 presents).

Re dinner: I'd have probably either had Xmas Dinner on Xmas Eve or Boxing Day.... or just cooked my own on Xmas Day and not sent him off with a packup.

Other people's Xmas dinners aren't like your own. You'd probably be more miserable.... they do things differently, eat different food, eat food you like but done differently, eat at the "wrong" time for you, you can't choose the telly, you can't relax/slob out. You're better off on your own really.

I've got no cards yet, so I doubt I'll get any now. I'm not expecting any presents - if I do get something it'll be under the "we spend £1 each" rule of the giver (I've got something here for them, for whenever it is I see them next).

If you do go out on a "pity invite" - or even a proper invite - you spend most of the day wondering "what bl00dy time can I leave, this isn't enjoyable at all"

Remind me not to invite you to my house then!

suki1964

Skint_yet_Again wrote: »

Thank you for all your replies.


I initially contacted our local council as they run a citywide initiative for Christmas volunteering but all the local positions were either already full (City Cathedral Christmas dinner) or wanted all day volunteers or night volunteers. The person I spoke to suggested that any Charities may require CRB checks if you are visiting people in their homes and said I have left it too late for this year.


However I will contact my local church and Age Concern as suggested. Maybe if there are other Christmas meals I can do the washing up in the afternoon !


As to "pity" invites .. yes maybe my friends see me as independent and used to being on my own and didn't think to invite me.


If all else fails it will be a bottle of plonk and a box of chocs in front of the tv. Maybe a long walk by the sea front if the weather is ok. I think the main thing will be to have something to do as soon as he has gone so I don't have time to sit and mope.


Thanks and enjoy your Christmas day wherever you spend it x

See now that's what I would do, wrap up, take a long bracing walk as soon as he's gone, blow the cobwebs and the poor me's straight out of me, then home, hot shower, change of clothes and enjoy the me time

Like I suggested , avoid the sentimental perfect Christmas twaddle and enjoy the day as a spoil yourself day

Don't forget, most people's Christmases are closer to those of eastenders and Corrie then any Disney/Hollywood one

PasturesNew

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Remind me not to invite you to my house then!

Maybe you already did and that's the polite description and memory I came away with

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

Maybe you already did and that's the polite description and memory I came away with

Ah! So you were the miserable so-and-so we invited ten years ago, couldn't wait to see the back of and of whom we said 'thank goodness she's gone home early!'

I'm hoping the people I invite will have an enjoyable time. The lady from last year obviously did, as she is coming again

nimbo

I've had one year all by myself. (Totally singing that song in my head now). It was miserable.

However I can manage stretches of Christmas Day. There is a massive choice of decent movies and television on. I'll have new toys to admire and play with.

We've just had a massive row about Christmas and to be honest a day where I get to choose all that I do sounds pretty perfect to me now.

It may be a shock if this is the first Christmas with out your ds all day. But you can have a nice plan for when he gets home - all the Christmas chocolates laid out and a favourite game - or record his fave Christmas telly to watch with him. keep a present or two back to look forward to when he gets home.

I do agree that we can all sometimes be guilty of romanticising Christmas Day and having massive expectations which are potentially going to be crushed or at least a little smooshed round the edges.

fierystormcloud

I think to the people who are saying 'it'll be great; what's not to love? Get up when you want, drink prosecco all day, have the remote to yourself, go for a walk, etc etc' mean well, but it's easier said than done when you don't want to be alone.

If it were me, I would find something 'public' to go to; like a village do or buffet or fayre. Or some kind of local Christmas day walk or something... Even Church, as they welcome anyone and everyone. But it would have to be somewhere where I could just pop in and out when I want, in case I felt awkward or wanted to leave...

And as a few people have said on here, it's a bit 'cringe' to be at someone else's house (with their family...) I couldn't think of anything worse than a pity invite. And (as people have said too,) people do things differently, and also, you would wonder when you could leave.

One of my friends had her only child go out for new year's eve with her mates for the first time 3 years ago, and at the same time, her husband was working nights; 6pm til 6am over new year's eve. She was 100% alone in the house, no-one had asked her anywhere, and she had underestimated how lonely and melancholy she was going to feel. She went to bed at 10.30pm-ish and tried to ignore the 'happy new year' cheers and fireworks at midnight.

The daughter has left home now, and her husband's shifts have not fell with him working new year's eve since, but she said when it does again, she will be arranging something else, as hell will freeze over before she spends new year's eve alone again.

So as I said, people are different, and some people are unhappy alone.

mumps

I've got eight here for several days over Christmas. Have to do two Christmas meals due to dietary requirements. Christmas alone sounds quite relaxing. I don't mind the the cooking, the clearing up, sorting out the GCs arguments. It is the noise that gets me, the xbox will be on, probably two TVs in different rooms and I might need to go out for a quiet walk.

penguingirl

For anyone who is looking for something 'public' to do in the morning, have a look at parkrun. There is a list of those having Christmas day runs http://www.parkrun.org.uk/christmas-compendium/ it is a free 5k run, you just have to register in advance. They also need volunteers for those who don't fancy running. Or will happily have spectators for those who want a walk in the park and something to see/friendly people to chat to.

suki1964

mumps wrote: »

I've got eight here for several days over Christmas. Have to do two Christmas meals due to dietary requirements. Christmas alone sounds quite relaxing. I don't mind the the cooking, the clearing up, sorting out the GCs arguments. It is the noise that gets me, the xbox will be on, probably two TVs in different rooms and I might need to go out for a quiet walk.

That's what I can't abide, it the noise

When we were kids and mum wasn't around, Christmas was spread over 3 families, ours ( me cooking) me aunties and some over family to this day I don't know who they were. So us 4, aunts 5 and this other family of 7. I remember spending a lot of time sat in hall ways away from the noise