Spending Christmas day on your own

gocurlygirl

Am working nights Christmas eve,so most of day will be very tired(have to have a sleep)
We have had neighbours, friends and family for Christmas meal,once an elderly lady who lived alone who was very independent and cooked good meals for herself every day.At 90 she was very capable,her family lived far away and she would have been alone and liked company .
We did not invite her from pity,we liked her and love having guests.Both our families all lived a long way away too-we all benefited from the visit and when she was tired she went home.

gocurlygirl

Nicki wrote: »

I hate these references to "the pity invite"! We've often had extras at Christmas lunch or over Christmas. They've always been friends or family of whom we've been extremely fond, and they've been invited not simply because they would otherwise be on their own but because we've genuinely wanted to spend the day with them. I'd be gutted if I thought any of my friends who have spent Christmas Day with us over the years had been inwardly cringing or felt themselves to be patronised by being invited

Well said ,my own feelings exactly:j

Towser

Yes seriously what's wrong with that?

I am very needy.

Mothers family abroad and fathers family cut off as I have nothing to do with him.

Husbands family wonderful. Children wonderful.

PasturesNew

Sometimes the so called "pity invite" is actually you being used because the person doesn't want to be at their own Christmas day, so you're invited as they hope the others won't argue and be miserable and moody "like usual", but ... they do ... and you have to sit there, awkwardly staring at the ceiling, trying to catch the time from the corner of your eye and hoping at least ONE sausage roll will be rolled out soon .... and you know what...? There might not be ANY s0ddin' sausage rolls at all

You can have sausage rolls at home, alone, if you want

seven-day-weekend

Nicki wrote: »

I hate these references to "the pity invite"! We've often had extras at Christmas lunch or over Christmas. They've always been friends or family of whom we've been extremely fond, and they've been invited not simply because they would otherwise be on their own but because we've genuinely wanted to spend the day with them. I'd be gutted if I thought any of my friends who have spent Christmas Day with us over the years had been inwardly cringing or felt themselves to be patronised by being invited

Me too. Although we do invite a lady who would otherwise be on her own, we enjoy her company and certainly don't feel 'pity'.

I'm sure she would never feel 'patronised', I hope not anyway. I would hate it if she did.

I wouldn't want to invite the ones who resented it and couldn't accept in the manner in which our invitation was issued; i.e out of good hearts. If they genuinely didn't want to come, that would be fine, but if it was because they thought we were patronising them, well I wouldn't want the little snowflakes there anyway.

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

Sometimes the so called "pity invite" is actually you being used because the person doesn't want to be at their own Christmas day, so you're invited as they hope the others won't argue and be miserable and moody "like usual", but ... they do ... and you have to sit there, awkwardly staring at the ceiling, trying to catch the time from the corner of your eye and hoping at least ONE sausage roll will be rolled out soon .... and you know what...? There might not be ANY s0ddin' sausage rolls at all

You can have sausage rolls at home, alone, if you want

Of course you can have sausage rolls at home, and if that is your genuine choice, then fine.

PN, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but in other discussions you have said that other people only invite you anywhere as an also-ran, or to make numbers up, or out of pity. If you feel like this all the time , then perhaps that is one reason why you don't get to speak to anyone for months on end.

Has it ever occurred to you that people might have good motives, not just bad or dubious ones?

bouicca21

Robisere, I see no reason to feel uncomfortable about Christmas. As an atheist I simply regard it as a major cultural festival with a nice message about peace and harmony. To me it's more winter solstice than birth of Christ.

missbiggles1

Towser wrote: »

Yes seriously what's wrong with that?

I am very needy.

Mothers family abroad and fathers family cut off as I have nothing to do with him.

Husbands family wonderful. Children wonderful.

Well, perhaps just that.

missbiggles1

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Of course you can have sausage rolls at home, and if that is your genuine choice, then fine.

PN, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but in other discussions you have said that other people only invite you anywhere as an also-ran, or to make numbers up, or out of pity. If you feel like this all the time , then perhaps that is one reason why you don't get to speak to anyone for months on end.

Has it ever occurred to you that people might have good motives, not just bad or dubious ones?

People can have good motives and still make you very uncomfortable.

cyantist

SailorSam wrote: »

My neighbours, we talk when we pass in the street or out doing the garden, but i'd hate them to knock and ask me to join them for Christmas Dinner.

Last year our elderly neighbour was going to be on his own as his wife was going to her daughters and he didn’t want to go (the daughter is quite manipulative and inconsiderate by all accounts). We invited him to ours and he had a great time – though getting him to leave wasn’t easy! It wasn’t a pity invite, I genuinely would have felt awful if he’d been stuck on his own for Christmas when we had plenty of space and he’d only have to pop next door and he's a ncie guy.