Spending Christmas day on your own

guccigoo

janb5 wrote: »

Hi Skint yet again, I empathize with you as I have a similar situation. One son always spends his Christmas with his in laws and the other one is having lunch with me and then `running` back to London to have dinner with his father.His father is prepared to come and pick him up but he would rather run back! I should say he is 26.

I live in Bromley and so quite a run back!

Like other posters, I envy you your sea front! Sadly Bromley doesnt have one * sigh*!

I'm in Orpington that doesn't have a seafront either

missbiggles1

jack_pott wrote: »

Look on the bright side:

You don't have to pretend that "this is just what I always wanted"
You don't have to pretend that the Regina monologue is fascinating
You don't have to pretend that turkey is a special once-a-year treat
You don't have to pretend you like xmas pud & mince pies
You don't have to pretend that you don't feel a tw.t in the paper hat out of a cracker

I've never done any of those for the last 40 years, wherever I've had Christmas.

PasturesNew

I had one set of grandparents, one was infirm.

We had Christmas Day at home; on Boxing Day we'd go to gran's house, as would two sets of aunt/uncle/cousins.

There was another set of aunt/uncle/cousins, who lived about 8 doors down the road from gran - they went to hers on Christmas Day.

Boxing Day Tea time the other lot would walk up and have a quick scoff/chat and then go home again. There wasn't really enough room for everybody to stand in the one room, so they never stayed long ... and, to be honest, "we didn't like them" ...

So everybody won.

Boxing Day lunch was 6 chairs round the table with 8 adults and 8 kids. Tea-time took it up to 10 adults and 13 kids. The room was 10'x12' or so and had a table, sideboard, telly table and two armchairs... it was cramped to say the least.

I think some adults ate standing up in the kitchen.

seven-day-weekend

We spent the first eighteen years of our married life, and the first eight of our son's life, going to my husband's parents for Christmas, because his mother would have had a fit if we hadn't. It was OK while my husband's stepfather was alive, he was fun and made us all laugh. When he died when our son was five, it was dire. Our son was only allowed to play with things that husband's mum had bought,, we couldn't have anything on TV that she didn't like, she moaned about everything and criticised all three of us.

After a few years of this we said we were having Christmas at ours and said she could come to us. Every year she tried to guilt-trip us by saying she was going to 'just stay in the house on her own, with a little chicken'. After a couple of years we just said 'OK then. Let us know if you change your mind'. She changed her mind.

So Christmases were a bit dire. I never got to see my family on Christmas Day.

After she died, we had Christmases on our own, just with our son, those were quite nice, then in 2004 we went to Spain for eight years.

Now we do the 'family' Christmas, we have my own birth mother who I found five years ago, our son and his girlfriend, their neighbour who would otherwise be on her own, girlfriend's mum (although she isn't coming this year due to other family commitments), and anyone else who wanted to come would be welcome as long as they turn up with a smile on their face and leave by 8pm.

I'd rather have a houseful of smiling faces than one with a sulky face on, although I must admit I would not want more than one or two small children. Suits me that we don't have grandchildren:)

Looking forward to it now.

We still refer to the 'little chicken' LOL!

Ilona

suki1964 wrote: »

That's what I can't abide, it the noise

I've just had a phone call from my nephew, making arrangements for next Sunday. Gawd, the yelling kids in the background, what a horrible noise. :eek:
Ilona

prosaver

why dont you have christmas early on christmas eve have a big party go out a get wasted with your son. then christmas day will be like a Sunday and youll be glad for the rest and have a walk to get rid of your masssive hangover. and watch a few DVD's at night with a few drinks and phone people up, family and all that.
Then do all it again on boxing day. :beer:
We use to have a family party / treats on christmas eve when we were kids to make the christmas last longer.

Abbafan1972

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

We spent the first eighteen years of our married life, and the first eight of our son's life, going to my husband's parents for Christmas, because his mother would have had a fit if we hadn't. It was OK while my husband's stepfather was alive, he was fun and made us all laugh. When he died when our son was five, it was dire. Our son was only allowed to play with things that husband's mum had bought,, we couldn't have anything on TV that she didn't like, she moaned about everything and criticised all three of us.

After a few years of this we said we were having Christmas at ours and said she could come to us. Every year she tried to guilt-trip us by saying she was going to 'just stay in the house on her own, with a little chicken'. After a couple of years we just said 'OK then. Let us know if you change your mind'. She changed her mind.

So Christmases were a bit dire. I never got to see my family on Christmas Day.

After she died, we had Christmases on our own, just with our son, those were quite nice, then in 2004 we went to Spain for eight years.

Now we do the 'family' Christmas, we have my own birth mother who I found five years ago, our son and his girlfriend, their neighbour who would otherwise be on her own, girlfriend's mum (although she isn't coming this year due to other family commitments), and anyone else who wanted to come would be welcome as long as they turn up with a smile on their face and leave by 8pm.

I'd rather have a houseful of smiling faces than one with a sulky face on, although I must admit I would not want more than one or two small children. Suits me that we don't have grandchildren

Looking forward to it now.

We still refer to the 'little chicken' LOL!

God forbid if you ever have grandchildren then!

This year we are staying at home and cooking a Turkey crown from Iceland, just the 4 of us.

My Mom stayed "Quiet" about what she was doing for Christmas, which is usually the case if her plans don't include us Sure enough she's cooking dinner at home, but has invited her cousin and her husband over for dinner, as their family are going out for dinner and they don't want to pay £40+ each (I don't blame them as I wouldn't either). On Boxing day my parents are going to their house for dinner. We are having dinner with my parents on the 27th.

Don't have any other family that I see, am an only child.

DH's family aren't in the picture.

A nice quite Christmas, which is what I like. And I like to Slob in the house, watch what I want on the telly etc.

Robisere

We are all for the "walk on the beach" - we do that all the time in winter, if it's a Sunday we wind up with lunch at a great English restaurant, all basic carveries/pies/fish & chips. Then another walk to get rid of excess calories!

Boxing Day will see us at dd and partner's with our granddaughter. The problem there is dd's son, our 22 yo grandson is an Asperger's sufferer with his own apartment and very good job that he loves, but a disinclination to leave the apartment apart from shopping and work. We believe that he is developing a form of Agorophobia, and are all trying to bring him out of it. His useless dad has been gone since he was a toddler, resulting in me being the male figure n his life since then, although over the last few years dd's partner has begun to take some of that load. I will have to practically drag him out of the door for a Christmas meal with us here. Past experience has proved that he is always OK after settling down at ours, it's just the initial reluctance.

I have spent Christmases in Army service in some difficult places and later alone for a period, after my first relationship crumbled to dust. I would not mind my own company, but it is good to be able to turn to someone you love and share something as simple as a comment about a movie or other TV programme. When I was young at home, we did not celebrate Christmas and I am still uncomfortable with it: I am not a Christian, why should I celebrate the birth of the founder of a religion that I have no belief in?

seven-day-weekend

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

God forbid if you ever have grandchildren then!
.
.

I'm sure I would love them if they came along, but it would certainly change the dynamic.

My son will be 37 in January, his girlfriend is 29, so I suppose there is still a chance, although they say they don't want any.

Towser

My family used to drive me nuts and could not wait to have the TV to myself with everything I like, the way I like it. Just as other posters have said.

I spent one Christmas on my own and cried. I thought I would be strong enough. I will never do it again. I also turned down the pity invite but wish I hadn't because the party probably would have been good.

It's part of the reason why I got married and had children to avoid xmas on my own.

I worry when I am old and crumbly and no-one wants to visit me then. I shall have to be in a home.