Spending Christmas day on your own

Pollycat

Judi wrote: »

I shall spend a big part of Christmas on my own.

Mornings will be taken up with our grown up children and Grandchildren. Afternoon will be taken up with the Christmas dinner and after that I'll most likely spend the evening upstairs on my pc/watching telly whilst hubby will be watching what he wants to watch downstairs.

I'm quite happy with that.:)

I'd teach the youngest son to cook his own Christmas dinner then go away for Christmas.

Skint_yet_Again

duchy wrote: »

In all honesty your son chose to work Christmas Day so I'm a bit unclear why you felt you have to be at home for him. Surely if he didn't want to be alone he could have stayed at his girlfriends .

Lots of assumptions there duchy - who said he chose to work Christmas Day and why assume he can stay at his girlfriends (parents) house ? If it was that simple I would not have stayed at home with him !

mumps

Skint_yet_Again wrote: »

Lots of assumptions there duchy - who said he chose to work Christmas Day and why assume he can stay at his girlfriends (parents) house ? If it was that simple I would not have stayed at home with him !

If you give people 2 and 2 on here they are likely to come up with 5, 6 or 7.

Hope his shift goes OK, enjoy your morning with him. A nice morning with someone and then slobbing out (I realise you might not be a slobbing out kind of person but it can be nice) sounds good to me make sure you have lots of treats and films to watch, books to read etc.

duchy

I don't really buy the "poor things have to work Christmas". There are few jobs with Christmas working as a surprise , yes it's a trade off but for most people the disadvantage is outweighed by other advantages through the year and no job is perfect (I'm not being glib I've worked Christmas Day most of the past few years)

The worst part of it is other people trying to make you feel guilty . There's plenty of families with young children who have a parent on deployment so they either have Christmas without the parent or celebrate it another time. I think it's very sad the OP is unhappy to be alone when she could have gone to family. Had she posted how she was looking forward to a festive breakfast then happily waving him off and enjoying her indulgent day then I wouldn't feel that way but I hope she can see it as a bonus and not a sacrifice as otherwise her son will probably feel guilty.

I do think you could make sure he doesn't by not putting it all on him e.g. Get your own wanted book rather than hope he buys the right one, plan out the movies you fancy and have treats that are not just family favourites but yours and let him go to work knowing you have an assured lovely day ahead guilt free.

marisco_2

Skint_yet_Again wrote: »

Would you invite family / friends to your Christmas day if you knew they would be on their own ?

Yes and I have done this year. I think it is totally selfless of you to be staying home so as you can spend part of the day with your son. He must love you very much for being so considerate.


I have spent Christmas day alone in the past and have actually grown to love doing it every now and then. I made sure to do lots of lovely things for me that made me happy throughout the day.


I hope that you will have a nice Christmas OP

mumps

duchy wrote: »

I don't really buy the "poor things have to work Christmas". There are few jobs with Christmas working as a surprise , yes it's a trade off but for most people the disadvantage is outweighed by other advantages through the year and no job is perfect (I'm not being glib I've worked Christmas Day most of the past few years)

The worst part of it is other people trying to make you feel guilty . There's plenty of families with young children who have a parent on deployment so they either have Christmas without the parent or celebrate it another time. I think it's very sad the OP is unhappy to be alone when she could have gone to family. Had she posted how she was looking forward to a festive breakfast then happily waving him off and enjoying her indulgent day then I wouldn't feel that way but I hope she can see it as a bonus and not a sacrifice as otherwise her son will probably feel guilty.

I do think you could make sure he doesn't by not putting it all on him e.g. Get your own wanted book rather than hope he buys the right one, plan out the movies you fancy and have treats that are not just family favourites but yours and let him go to work knowing you have an assured lovely day ahead guilt free.

Just as long as retail workers get Boxing Day off what does Christmas Day matter?

Skint_yet_Again

Yes it was my choice to stay with him over Christmas. He's had a tough year, worked really hard, worked a 6day on 4 off shift pattern also working 2 of those nights off as a volunteer. This is how I choose to support him. I am not complaining that he is working over Christmas or trying to be some sort of martyr.


When his dad was with us he was RN so we've done the Christmas deployments when dad was away. Its not that I am unhappy to be alone, just that I am not looking forward to when he leaves... and if I am feeling a little deflated when he does go I would certainly not be making him aware of it.

Pollycat

Skint_yet_Again wrote: »

Yes it was my choice to stay with him over Christmas. He's had a tough year, worked really hard, worked a 6day on 4 off shift pattern also working 2 of those nights off as a volunteer. This is how I choose to support him. I am not complaining that he is working over Christmas or trying to be some sort of martyr.


When his dad was with us he was RN so we've done the Christmas deployments when dad was away. Its not that I am unhappy to be alone, just that I am not looking forward to when he leaves... and if I am feeling a little deflated when he does go I would certainly not be making him aware of it.

I'm sure he appreciates that you've decided to stay with him instead of going off to spend Christmas with your family.

I hope you manage to enjoy your Christmas Day, however you spend it.

Bumblebear

Not read all 5 pages properly, but yes I had a couple completely alone/almost alone, before the age of 30. One year I had a cough and my family "didn't want to catch it" so my invitation was rescinded! I had only just met my now hubby so I didn't have in-laws to go to. I had a rather dismal small flat at the time but despite my illness I didn't have such a bad day - watched all the telly I wanted, didn't have to share the port (hooray!), and found enough veg, gravy granules and a nut cutlet to rustle up a festive dinner.

DH is in the forces so I've had years where he's been deployed over Christmas, turned down an invitation to go to in-laws to keep my own family happy, only to get "oh well, I expect you'll want to be getting on soon" by 2:30 in the afternoon, 3 hours after I arrived. See above solution

Now when I have Christmas with DH's large, noisy, family - it's a shock to the system. There are benefits to both ends of the scale (not sharing port is a benefit...). I wish you well whatever you do x

fierystormcloud

Have to admit, if I had the choice, a Christmas with a massive family of in-laws, or on my own, I would choose the latter. Then again, I have (fortunately) never had to spend a Christmas on my own, so I guess I can never say for sure.