Past affair - Letters received, is it worth involving the police?

nkkingston

Often with affairs the injured party will be more upset with the person who told them than their spouse, because that the pain hit the injured party while they were learning the news from the informant. It's not rational, but in the same way you can't forgive the people who didn't tell you, she can't forgive the person who did. If she's stayed with him, she's probably repressing the hurt and anger that should rightfully be aimed at him in the name of making the relationship work, so it's focused on you (and your ex) as the person who introduced her to the fact there was something to be hurt and angry about.

I agree with the others that her spouse is probably cheating again, and she's mad at you because you told her the first time. She may believe you still have a level of connection with him either directly or through other friends that means you know about the cheating and this time she wants to get to you before you can tell her (and hurt her) again.

Writing to the neighbors is definitely weird, but not a police matter yet. It depends on whether this is just her lashing out because she's hurting, or whether it's the product of years of pain that's reached a tipping point. Until something else happens, you have to assume the former. If you or your neighbours start getting more communication from her, then it's time to get the police involved.