Past affair - Letters received, is it worth involving the police?

HighamKneeDee

Good morning, I will try to keep this brief. A few years ago my wife had an affair with a long time acquaintance of ours that lived a long distance away meaning contact over 6 months was largely restricted to the telephone, texting and emails. I found out and whilst it was unknown to me for 6 weeks afterwards, I discovered who it was and I called him after I had written to this man's wife telling her of the affair. She was totally oblivious and she called me and we spoke for over an hour, her husband coming into the home as we chatted. We continued chatting as he stood there, I guess, and to my surprise she went some way to defending him.

Later that month the wife sent my wife a letter, and me a letter, with similar themes but obviously changed slightly to suit the recipient. It was quite a hurtful letter, despite much of it truthful, and I responded in kind, again stating only the truth but from my and my then wife's perspective. Prior to sending my return letter, I thought about instead involving the police but decided not to. Six months later I threw my wife out and we have been parted a few years, I've no idea where she is or what she is doing. I remain living where we always lived.

Just this week I have received letters again, from the wife. Again they are hurtful whilst factual, repeating events from before. I've no idea if she is still with the man she once held in high esteem and had children with, it appears she has no idea that my wife no longer lives here. The letters state exactly what happened and make no suggestion of anything further happening since things were discovered. But of course, I cannot be sure either way if anything has since occurred. However I digress.

I've no intention of responding to her letters. She is obviously hurt deeply having being cheated on previously. However, on this occasion she has begun to worry me . Why wait a few years with no contact then decide to bring up old muck? I've no idea what may have gone on in her life since. Is it worth me taking the letters to the Police? Will they be bothered either way? Or will they just state that the letters are factual and therefore there is no offence in sending a letter. My concern is that this is just the start of more things to come. Is this a form of harassment from her? Can The Police just warn her? I don't want her to be in any undue trouble, just for sleeping dogs to be let to lie.

Tigsteroonie

Two letters addressed to you in "a few years" would not constitute harassment

Presumably there is a newer letter also addressed to your ex-wife at your current address; that should be Returned to Sender.

If you want to be helpful to the person concerned, you could drop a short polite note explaining that you and your ex-wife parted ways a number of years ago and that you don't know where she now lives. That would probably stop any further confusion.

bouicca21

Why don't you just reply telling her that you are no longer together and that you have no wish to rake over painful memories.

I can't see why the police should get involved unless there is some sort of threat.

HighamKneeDee

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Two letters addressed to you in "a few years" would not constitute harassment

Presumably there is a newer letter also addressed to your ex-wife at your current address; that should be Returned to Sender.

If you want to be helpful to the person concerned, you could drop a short polite note explaining that you and your ex-wife parted ways a number of years ago and that you don't know where she now lives. That would probably stop any further confusion.

Hi. Thank you. I did think the same. I just cannot get why she has started up with the letters again after such a long time. There is a letter to my ex-wife. I opened it (I know I know) but won't be returning it. I will write that note to her telling her we are no longer one. I feel for her, I have been through the pain, still am, and therefore I don't need reminders.

HighamKneeDee

bouicca21 wrote: »

Why don't you just reply telling her that you are no longer together and that you have no wish to rake over painful memories.

I can't see why the police should get involved unless there is some sort of threat.

Hi, thank you. That's exactly what they are.

Pollycat

bouicca21 wrote: »

Why don't you just reply telling her that you are no longer together and that you have no wish to rake over painful memories.

I can't see why the police should get involved unless there is some sort of threat.

HighamKneeDee wrote: »

Hi, thank you. That's exactly what they are.

The letters contain threats?

That's different to what you posted earlier.
You said they were 'hurtful whilst factual' - no hint of threats.

Writing threatening letters is different to the situation you originally described.

annandale

Could be referring to painful memories in saying that's exactly what they are.

duchy

You instigated correspondence between yourself and this woman instead of dealing with your wife yourself .

As several years have passed and this woman lives far away it's hard to imagine what viable threats this woman could be making against you personally unless you've missed out some very relevant details.

HighamKneeDee

Pollycat wrote: »

The letters contain threats?

That's different to what you posted earlier.
You said they were 'hurtful whilst factual' - no hint of threats.

Writing threatening letters is different to the situation you originally described.

Hi Pollycat. No, my apologies, they do not contain threats at all, they are simply factual. I meant to put just the piece about them being hurtful posted by bouicca21 in Italics but it appears I may have done that to the whole lot, or not at all. So to be clear , there are no threats.

However, I have not long returned from the newsagents and I met my mate/neighbour. He too has received a letter about the same. He was not going to say anything but then best thought I be warned. He knew of the affair but not everybody does. I wonder how many other neighbours might too have received them. I think I'll be wise to avoid the pub at lunchtime.

Thank you for your post. I'm now concerned.

duchy

Someone who lives many miles away has written to your mate about a brief affair her husband had years ago with someone you used to be married to , and has possibly written to others , and you are too embarrassed to go to the pub ?

How would she even know who to write to ?
Does not compute

HighamKneeDee

annandale wrote: »

Could be referring to painful memories in saying that's exactly what they are.

Thank you, that is what I meant.

duchy wrote: »

You instigated correspondence between yourself and this woman instead of dealing with your wife yourself .

As several years have passed and this woman lives far away it's hard to imagine what viable threats this woman could be making against you personally unless you've missed out some very relevant details.

I did deal with my wife myself but also was adamant that the other miscreant was not going to get away scotfree. My wife went to extremes in trying to keep his identity secret but unfortunately for he and her I was one step ahead.