Partner doing chores badly is driving me crazy!

Gloomendoom

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Ha Ha

Problem is servicing the car isn't a daily or even weekly chore and if you are both working full time the everyday mundane chores can be soul destroying if you are doing them all on your own while the other half is sitting watching the TV/whatever.

I suppose I am "lucky" in that we have several cars and are renovating the house so I tend to be overloaded with chores that suit my skillset.

I used to live on my own in the same house so I am quite capable of running a household. I'm just not quite up to the standards that my wife works to.

Gavin83

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Yes. I'm one. I find things like vacuuming and dusting just so spectacularly unimportant that I don't even notice that they "need" to be done. It doesn't matter. I simply don't care. I actually cannot understand people getting excitable about housework not being done.

This is the issue in my house and we probably have more arguments about chores than anything else. Unlike the OP's boyfriend I can manage household tasks perfectly well. Only thing I'm a bit crap at is ironing, which while I can do I do so slowly so the girlfriend generally does all that. I'm better at cooking.

Our problem is that she'll ask me to polish/hoover etc and I'll look around and question why as it looks perfectly clean and acceptable to me. She'll then get upset I'm questioning the need for it. Think we've just got different standards.

Still, I think if the only thing you argue about is chores your relationship must be pretty good overall!

Littlered_81

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I suppose I am "lucky" in that we have several cars and are renovating the house so I tend to be overloaded with chores that suit my skillset.

I used to live on my own in the same house so I am quite capable of running a household. I'm just not quite up to the standards that my wife works to.

I think this is also an issue, there are not other types of chores that he could do that would help to even things out. He doesn't drive, so the only car is my car which I take to be serviced regularly and we don't have our own parking so I take it to the jet wash to clean it. We live in a rented property, so minimal to no DIY tasks to be done.


He really is a fantastic guy and a very caring person. And I do believe that he does try, it's just that after two years it's a conversation that keeps coming up. I work 45+ hours a week, I cook all our meals (this is definitely NOT his skillset at all!). I just find it frustrating that some tasks that I think are basic (like putting shopping away) are still not done properly, meaning I'm throwing food out, but struggle to address this without him feeling patronised.

Callie22

Littlered_81 wrote: »

I just find it frustrating that some tasks that I think are basic (like putting shopping away) are still not done properly, meaning I'm throwing food out, but struggle to address this without him feeling patronised.

To be fair, if he's putting obviously frozen stuff away in a cupboard then that deserves to be patronised. It's an utterly pointless waste of food, not to mention the fact that a load of wet, rotting food in your cupboard then leads to more work cleaning it up. I would be really annoyed about that, perhaps not so much the first time but definitely if it happened again.

rach_k

To avoid being considered a nag, I'd just let him see the consequences of his mistakes and keep letting him see them until he gets the message. He won't learn if you fix it for him!

Have your own washing baskets and each do your own, so if he ruins something he's the one who has to wear or replace it. My OH always left tissues in his pockets so, although I wash it, I wash his laundry on its own so his are the only clothes covered in bits. He remembers a lot better nowadays!

If food gets ruined, serve up dinner minus the ruined bit and when he asks why, just say that the meat was put in the wrong place and went off - no accusation but he will know who it was! If half of the washing up isn't done properly, serve his food onto dirty plates.

Guest101

My biggest hurdle is realising when things need doing. I don't mind doing household chores, but I don't see it.

ibizafan_2

My youngest son is the untidiest person I know. He used to drive me mad when he was at home, and I ended up doing all the chores because he was so bad at them that I would have to do them again anyway. He is now 31 and still just as bad. When I asked his girlfriend how she puts up with him, she said that she had spent years with someone who was anal about cleaning, and that my son's other qualities far outweigh his slobbiness. When I last spent time with them in Australia where they live, I could see what she means. He is the kindest, nicest person, and brilliant with their baby daughter. In fact, he has just gone back to work after looking after her for six months. His untidiness still remains an occasional bone of contention, but I think she handles it brilliantly.

duchy

Not seeingstuff needs to be done or bad technique is one thing, putting frozen food in a cupboard is another.

He's either stupid or is taking the pee

killielila

I came on here to stick up for your hubby my OH constantly nags me about the 'RIGHT' way to do chores . I lived and raised a child on my own for 16 years but because my way is different to his im in the wrong .
however he will literally step over things to tell me about them like yesterday I was upstairs studying and he came up to tell me that the bottle on the condenser dryer was leaking on the floor and didn't I empty it between loads . .. No between doing 2 loads of washing walking the dog putting the bins out hoovering cleaning floor and trying to study for my degree it slipped my mind ..... sorry rant over

BUT not being able to feel that an item is frozen and putting in the cupboard I think your OH at it

onlyroz

Have you seen the "magic coffee table" video?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_kXIGvB1uU