Partner doing chores badly is driving me crazy!

annandale

No wonder. I live alone and thankfully I'm not frazzled resentful or stressed about housework.

63 to 37 per cent did make me laugh though. Amazing that you can work it out so neatly.

Tbh. I really couldn't care if someone hoovered their carpet 44 times a day or dusted once a year.

We'll all have different standards, it's not a competition.

getmore4less

one thing stood out in the OP.

The only thing that do not go through the dishwasher are the cast iron frying pans they just get scrubbed and dried.

everything else goes in, there is no extra washing up.

Rinse and scrape pans/trays the dishwasher does the proper final clean.

If stuff does not survive buy proper stuff to replace.

if you can't fill it before running out of stuff buy more stuff or get one that does 1/2 loads.


Don't try to fix problems of your own creation, eliminate them.

Lily-Rose_3

annandale wrote: »

No wonder. I live alone and thankfully I'm not frazzled resentful or stressed about housework.

63 to 37 per cent did make me laugh though. Amazing that you can work it out so neatly.

Tbh. I really couldn't care if someone hoovered their carpet 44 times a day or dusted once a year.

We'll all have different standards, it's not a competition.

Well if you want me to split hairs, it's actually 63.5% to 36.5%.

And no-one has said it's a competition, have they...?

It's great that you don't give a fluff about whether anyone dusts 44 times a day or once a year, but others do, we are all different, and nobody deserves to be bashed or ridiculed or mocked for their views. I was just throwing my two pence worth in, and saying how we do it, and what my preferences are, as many others on this thread are doing.

Whatever you are happy with, good for you. Others are going to think differently.

No need to mock people.

onlyroz

Person_one wrote: »

Those things look great, but sadly I have a dog that would go absolutely bats**t crazy if I let one loose in the living room! :rotfl:

I've also read that a Roomba in combination with a stray dog turd can have horrific results :eek:

seven-day-weekend

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I am completely with you on that one!

me too. .

Ours gets done when one of us says 'look at the cat hairs in here' and then whoever says it, does it.

I do use a small hand-held hoover every day to get the cat hairs off the sofas.

Person_one

onlyroz wrote: »

I've also read that a Roomba in combination with a stray dog turd can have horrific results :eek:

I don't doubt it, but it does seem a bit odd that somebody who would spend several hundred pounds on a cleaning gadget would also have stray dog turds lying around to find that out! :rotfl:

Newly_retired

If I want the place cleaned to my standards, then I have to accept that I have to do it. I have two main bones of contention:
DH doesn't see the point in dusting, yet he has all sorts of collectibles all over the place, at least 50 items that need picking up and dusting, then dusting underneath. We have old fashioned brown wood which shows the dust, and every surface, every book case, piano, sideboard etc is covered with items, all but six of which are his. I say if he likes them enough to collect them he should want to keep the display clean. In desperation I do some dusting about every three weeks.
The other area is the kitchen. After I have cooked the meal, he will fill the dishwasher, but sometimes forget to turn it on. Anything that needs hand washing gets left. The work tops and ceramic hob are not wiped. So eventually I have to do it myself. When I do, I just think, well why didn't I just get up and do it in the first place, instead of feeling disappointed that he hasn't done it.
I refuse to have anything to do with the garden, and I certainly expect him to do any repair jobs that are within his competence, and I know he can solve many computer problems, so I tell myself that it evens out. Except it doesn't!

AshleyBurf

I would say that one or both of his parents probably told him off for doing it badly (it happened to me as a kid) and I never wanted to do the washing up ever because there would be no thanks or praise.

I would try to compliment him more and tell him what he is doing right. I actually needed training on some things.

Be patient. Show him how to do it and DO NOT belittle him. Compliment him as much as possible.

Redacted

I find whenever this topic comes up, chores are always looked at in isolation rather than as part of all the household jobs that get divided up between couples. No-one ever says "I do the lions share of the housework, but then again my partner does all the DIY, household repairs and maintenance and keeps both our cars running" which I suspect is true for most typically gender stereotype oriented households. (At least it is based on the couples I know - we might be in the 21st century, but this still seems the prevalent split).

I'm lucky, in that my partner and I have similar standards (or maybe that should read my partner is lucky we have similar standards!!) and they are relaxed compared to some posters on here. We're fine leaving our dishes on the side til the next day as we tend to eat late because of working patterns. I have no desire or inclination to hoover or dust or iron. To be honest, we both hate housework.

We've tried to make things easy on ourselves. We have a dishwasher and most stuff we own is dishwasher safe, minimising the need for handwashing. We have a tumble dryer, so we can blitz laundry at the weekends even in winter, and both washing machine and dryer have massive drums.

We bought a handheld vacuum to make that chore easier. We find because it's time-limited we're more likely to use it - instead of trying to hoover the whole house, which neither of us wants to do, you feel ok thinking "I'll just hoover the stairs and tomorrow I'll do the lounge." Ironing is not a regular chore - if something needs ironing, it gets done before wearing by the person wanting to wear it!!

I would feel resentful living with someone who constantly nagged me to do something at their schedule, time and pace rather than my own. However, I think sometimes it's hard to tell if these threads are due to mis-matches in standards or because one person is lazy and happy to let the other carry the load.

LannieDuck

Redacted wrote: »

I find whenever this topic comes up, chores are always looked at in isolation rather than as part of all the household jobs that get divided up between couples. No-one ever says "I do the lions share of the housework, but then again my partner does all the DIY, household repairs and maintenance and keeps both our cars running" which I suspect is true for most typically gender stereotype oriented households. (At least it is based on the couples I know - we might be in the 21st century, but this still seems the prevalent split).

I agree to a certain extent, but that sort of traditional split has always been rather unfair, for a number of reasons:

1. the housework needs doing day-in, day-out, whereas car repairs are going to be an unusual one-weekend in 6-months sort of job.

2. many DIY tasks are the type you can leave until next weekend if you don't feel like it. But if you don't wash-up, you'll have nothing to eat off.

3. car repairs, DIY etc is much more varied. One week is putting up a shelf, the next is figuring out how to make the engine work again. It's mentally stimulating. Washing the dishes for the 100th time is never interesting.

4. you'd be a very strange person not to say 'thank you' to the man who's just got your car working again. Whereas even with best intentions, most people won't say 'thank you' every time the woman who does the washing up.

5. with DIY you (and others) can see and admire the results of your work for years. With hoovering, you know it'll need doing again next week. One is rewarding, the other interminable.