OH wants a separation. I have no job. HELP!

sooty&sweep

Zippy,
I read your first post & then jumped to the end.
Be proud of yourself because you have come so far !
You're working, (something you said you were scared about in your first post !) and you are looking to the future.
I know you're feeling low, but you are trying to sort that out too !

All the best

Jen

annandale

You are very lucky the breeder took your dog back.

You sounded from the beginning like you thought the dog would have to go.

Spendless

Thanks for the update. Sorry, you've had to let the dog go but pleased you seem to have sorted out a new home for him.

As for the ex and the new girlfriend he works with Hmmmmm :silenced::silenced::silenced::silenced:

Onwards and upwards to you. :beer:

ska_lover

wow zippy you sound like you are doing so well, really glad to see that

FBaby

Zippy, however hard it might be at time, do take comfort to the fact that you are such an amazing inspiration. You have battled your fears, made decisions you knew were right despite being painful, and you've kept your head high all this time.

You have pushed all the way through and never taken the easy option. Your courage is amazing and you can be assured that all this will pay off one day. Thanks for coming to update us. Want to send you a massive hug!

Comms69

zippy1997 wrote: »

Quick update. Things are still on course for a divorce.

I have 2 part time jobs, so now working 41 hrs per week, no weekends and one job is term time only which will be nice, but unfortunately this has meant that the dog has suffered time-wise - and would have suffered long term.

Therefore DD and I made the difficult decision last week to give him back to the breeder. - was it not better to give it to your ex? It wasn't an easy decision and one that had me bawling like a baby every time I looked at his beautiful brown eyes knowing what was coming, but a necessary one so he could have a better life. Luckily the breeder has been staying with someone, a friend, who also has a couple of their dogs (actually related to our lovely boy) and the friend has fallen in love with him, so our boy is being fostered to see how it goes then should hopefully just stay in his new home. He has play mates and the breeder will see him regularly. So he left us mid week and by the end of it he had a new home! Landed on his paws I think!

It's the right decision for all of us and I actually feel relieved it's done (the decision made I mean). We miss him like crazy, as it's just empty without him and his stuff, but he'll have a good life with his new owner and we can stay in touch to see how he's doing. - fair enough, I've had to do that before and it is tough

My ex has a GF. I have no proof when it started but she is one of the women (there were 2) I asked about on FB before we split last yr...... she's a lot younger and he says they work together. - does it matter? He told DS and DD mid/end July and as yet hasn't actually told me. He also told DD that they're probably going to move in together at some point. No doubt he'll wait until Form E has been submitted and the 6 months (as asked on the Form) has passed.

I'm not jealous in any way, in fact, I knew he wouldn't stay single long, he needs someone. I admit I am jealous of the comfortable lifestyle they'll have though. We had some really crap times and I was hoping once the kids had flown the nest we could address things and plan for the future. Guess I was wrong.

I am looking forward to moving on with my life once this bloody divorce is done though. I will be changing my name back and whether I can afford to stay here or not, a new start will be good. DD is still hoping to go to Uni next yr so I will be on my own for the 1st time in my life. Yes it will be different but it'll also be good for me.

I am on the waiting list again for therapy. Not sure how it'll go but I have to try to work my issues out and come out of this, at least as an optimist rather than always looking on the downside of things. I also don't want to feel so low every day. No matter what's happening I never feel 'happy'. I walk the walk, smile at everyone but when I get home from work I really don't feel that way.

that's common, but are you getting out there to meet new people, even for friendship?

Primrose

Well done on getting through this difficult transitional stage and coming out a stronger person. I'm sure the dog loss has been difficult but this will ease with time and what you need at the moment is to simplify life for yourself as much as you can.


I'm not really surprised about your now -ex having another woman tucked away in the background. I suspected he was probably always never telling you the whole truth in this respect but you are doing amazingly well in getting a new life together for yourself. Go back and read your early posts and you will see just how far you have travelled. As others have just said, be proud of yourself!

Little_Miss_Winner

Good luck for the future hun - keep us updated xx

grimreaper

I too am going through divorce. My soon to be ex wife worked in London for 3 days a week and I looked after her 2 stepdaughters from her first marriage and we had 2 ourselves. I would look after all the kids when she worked away earning a 100k plus wage, when she was home she would work the following 2 days from home and have no dealing during the day with youngest kids because she’s working !. She would plan before asking so I would just follow instructions. I had a gambling problem trying to earn extra money because I wasn’t allowed a second job or do overtime because in her words it’s costs more for me to do extra work than look after the kids. I felt trapped in the house didn’t get on with her eldest daughter who make things difficult by telling me your not my dad, mummy’s still got my dads last name( yes she kept her first husbands last name ) , told me to pack my bags and live somewhere else and the list goes on. We also had 2 dogs that needed walking etc and when asked off her friends about how she looked well and how does she manage? I wouldn’t get a mention. I was suffering depression and now getting therapy, I’m back at my mums temporarily looking for a renter. It’s been 3 weeks and wants divorce going through ASAP yet another thing my ex likes to do in other words things had to be done there and then and within 48 hrs. She is being awkward and twisting things about me in her world and friends.

But I’m happier, it will be harder but I have my kids to support. That’s something else she did t like apparently I have 4 kids!

Keep your chin up Zippy your doing well, we also communicated by text I was told of divorce by text. You’ve got jobs and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My ex will have the next mug to date and he will soon realise that she’s in control and not him.

Look at the negatives about the marriage and you’ll soon realise the positive far outweigh them

Your doing good keep it going

Comms69

grimreaper wrote: »

I too am going through divorce. My soon to be ex wife worked in London for 3 days a week and I looked after her 2 stepdaughters from her first marriage and we had 2 ourselves. I would look after all the kids when she worked away earning a 100k plus wage, when she was home she would work the following 2 days from home and have no dealing during the day with youngest kids because she’s working !. She would plan before asking so I would just follow instructions. I had a gambling problem trying to earn extra money because I wasn’t allowed a second job or do overtime because in her words it’s costs more for me to do extra work than look after the kids. I felt trapped in the house didn’t get on with her eldest daughter who make things difficult by telling me your not my dad, mummy’s still got my dads last name( yes she kept her first husbands last name ) , told me to pack my bags and live somewhere else and the list goes on. We also had 2 dogs that needed walking etc and when asked off her friends about how she looked well and how does she manage? I wouldn’t get a mention. I was suffering depression and now getting therapy, I’m back at my mums temporarily looking for a renter. It’s been 3 weeks and wants divorce going through ASAP yet another thing my ex likes to do in other words things had to be done there and then and within 48 hrs. She is being awkward and twisting things about me in her world and friends.

But I’m happier, it will be harder but I have my kids to support. That’s something else she did t like apparently I have 4 kids!

Keep your chin up Zippy your doing well, we also communicated by text I was told of divorce by text. You’ve got jobs and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My ex will have the next mug to date and he will soon realise that she’s in control and not him.

Look at the negatives about the marriage and you’ll soon realise the positive far outweigh them

Your doing good keep it going

Why did you leave, why not ask her to leave? You were clearly the primary care giver