OH wants a separation. I have no job. HELP!

zippy1997

elsien wrote: »

Another possibility to bear in mind for the future - go onto the care home books as a relief/bank member of staff.
It might be a bit thrown in at the deep end, because training for relief staff tends to be less good than for permanent staff members, but it would give you an insight into the job and whether it's something you want to do full time further down the line.
That's if their shift patterns fit in with the job you've accepted, as some care homes do 12 hour shifts, (which I always think is unfair on the people being looked after aside from anything else.)

That has come up yes, or rather my sister mentioned it.
I could see what the care home I liked have to say about it. Make inquiries.
Right now I don't want to say no to job 1 in the evenings, take job 2 at the care home then find it isn't right for me (or rather I can't commit fully as my mind is elsewhere right now).

Job 1 will allow me to work, gain experience and confidence while earning some money. If I can help with the household expenses in any way then that will also bring down our debt, which obviously will effect the equity left when we do eventually sell the house.

zippy1997

jamiehelsinki wrote: »

Op,

What sort of income does your husband earn?

What sort of pension money has he accumulated?

Reading your first post there is about 150k to split?

He's on about 52k (plus any overtime).
Pension is about 45k (we don't actively save for that at the moment as we have debts to pay)
We don't know how much the house is worth at the moment, but could be a little less than that yes.

zippy1997

annandale wrote: »

Surely if you worked shifts you'd still be able to work the dog walking around those shifts? Also you and your husband haven't actually split yet. He still needs to take some responsibility for the family pet. You wouldn't get working tax credits with job 2 but you'd be earning more money to start with.

I have done some calculations and job 2 as it stands only comes out at £30 more. The shifts don't quite work, if it was more money I'd have considered it more.
OH knows I can't just afford everything and is being very reasonable so I really can't complain about that.
At the moment I just want to build my confidence and get back into going out to work.

elsien

Again on the care theme, I personally couldn't work in an older person's home - it's not for me. But I loved working in a care home for people with learning disabilities. And you do find that some supported living places for people with disabilities have shorter shifts that they can find hard to fill - a couple of hours in the morning for example. So again, when you're ready to look a bit further afield that's something else that could fit in with an evening job.

jamiehelsinki

The value of his pension although very small in relation to his earnings ( I'm guessing a fund value of 45k?, not 45k per annum in pension benefits) might help you get a bigger slice of the house money after the sale and the clearing of debt.

Primrose

Maybe a daft question to ask but why can,t you stay together and work at just clearing your debts as a priority? Then you would both be starting off from a better financial base without the expense of two separate properties/living accommodations to be funded. Surely if you're on reasonable terms this would work in both your longer term interests?

indiepanda

Primrose wrote: »

Maybe a daft question to ask but why can,t you stay together and work at just clearing your debts as a priority? Then you would both be starting off from a better financial base without the expense of two separate properties/living accommodations to be funded. Surely if you're on reasonable terms this would work in both your longer term interests?

I don't think the OP would object to this, it's her husband that is keen to move out and get somewhere closer to his work.

missbiggles1

zippy1997 wrote: »

I have done some calculations and job 2 as it stands only comes out at £30 more. The shifts don't quite work, if it was more money I'd have considered it more.
OH knows I can't just afford everything and is being very reasonable so I really can't complain about that.
At the moment I just want to build my confidence and get back into going out to work.

When you're on a low income, as you will be, £30 is well worth having.

zippy1997

elsien wrote: »

Again on the care theme, I personally couldn't work in an older person's home - it's not for me. But I loved working in a care home for people with learning disabilities. And you do find that some supported living places for people with disabilities have shorter shifts that they can find hard to fill - a couple of hours in the morning for example. So again, when you're ready to look a bit further afield that's something else that could fit in with an evening job.

I could look for something like that yes, thanks for the suggestion.

zippy1997

Jamiehelsinki wrote: »

The value of his pension although very small in relation to his earnings ( I'm guessing a fund value of 45k?, not 45k per annum in pension benefits) might help you get a bigger slice of the house money after the sale and the clearing of debt.

Yep, yes, 45k total, from previous pensions all put in one pot.
He is saying he doesn't want any equity in the house - at the moment.