Paris Metro ticket - possible proof of an affair

Knightsuntold

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

She sounds like a nutter.

Even if he did stray with, he'd never stray again for fear of ending up with the ultimate bunny boiler.

The way I've explained it, she does, but if you were to meet her, you'd never believe it.

KRB2725

My parents have been to Paris a few times, but do not use the Metro. Although I think they're probably in the minority, it may be worth asking your MIL 'for a friend' what Metro stop is closest ti the Eiffel Tower or something similar but better!

She probably won't remember, but if she's strange like my parents, she may say that she didn't use the Metro.

Malthusian

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Years ago, a colleague of mine lost both his job and wife when he let himself and his mistress be interviewed on national TV while visiting the boat show in London.

I can easily believe that someone would be stupid enough to take photos of their mistress on a secret trip to Paris and let her post them on Facebook. The bit I struggle with is where someone that stupid successfully conceals the evidence of that affair for years, possibly others, without committing an equally obvious slip-up.

Knightsuntold wrote:

That, and potentially a ticket, that was purchased in Paris, in my partner's bag, when he denies that he's ever been there, but he was AWOL on the appropriate week, with minimal contact.

AWOL is short for Absent Without Leave. I thought you said he was away on business.

If the husband had sent you frequent "love you" text messages while you were away, perhaps a phone call one evening, would it have made you feel better? Because he could have easily done that whether he was in Paris with a mistress or whether he was on a business trip. In fact I'd say it would be harder to find time for messages / chatting if he was actually working.

Would a rejected kiss, or a job transfer that he had nothing to do with, warrant such behaviour in someone who, up to that point, had been a rising star?

No, but it's irrelevant, because from the behaviour you've described she's got a screw loose. She doesn't need a rational justification.

The fact that she was a "rising star" doesn't surprise me at all. Someone who will go to the extreme lengths you describe is quite clearly capable of accomplishing a great deal as an office assistant if that's what their energy is being directed towards at that particular moment.

thorsoak

Knightsuntold wrote: »

It was damning, but all of it could be explained. She even described our bedroom, but again, there's a pic on social media, where I took a photo of a dress hanging up. Behind it is a mirrored door. I practically turned into Sherlock bloody Holmes, trying to piece everything together.

She didn't back off quietly. There were a number of anonymous complaints made to my partner's work, all of which were investigated, and he was cleared of, but the pressure was awful. We had 36 calls to his mobile on Christmas Day. My car was vandalised. I had flowers delivered in work on Valentine's Day, and rang to thank him, only he hadn't sent them. I got text messages telling me that blue suited me, when I'd been wearing a blue dress. Anything and everything that went wrong, she got the blame for. Another girl that works in the firm told me to watch my back, and she intimated that the other girl had form for this, but wouldn't give me anything concrete. It wasn't just the things that happened, it was the fear of what could happen. Then it all stopped, as suddenly as it started. I think I saw her with another man, but I couldn't swear to it - it was just a fleeting glimpse.

Curiouser and curiouser...............:cool:

Knightsuntold

fairy_lights wrote: »

Did you report any of this to the police, or the company they both work for? That sounds like serious harassment and could have cost her her job.

Yes, we spoke to the police, even though my partner didn't want to involve them - all circumstantial, and no proof. The policewoman was lovely, and said to me privately that I'd be best off keeping my head down and she'd eventually get bored and move on - she added that they get so many of these complaints every single day. My partner spoke to his boss, but there was nothing he could do - the investigations had to be seen to be taking place, and it was my word against hers. That's me with a history of being cheated on and potentially insecure, and her with an exemplary record, most of which had been endorsed by my partner.

Knightsuntold

emmatthews wrote: »

My parents have been to Paris a few times, but do not use the Metro. Although I think they're probably in the minority, it may be worth asking your MIL 'for a friend' what Metro stop is closest ti the Eiffel Tower or something similar but better!

She probably won't remember, but if she's strange like my parents, she may say that she didn't use the Metro.

It's worth a try - thank you for the thought.

Malthusian

Knightsuntold wrote: »

One odd thing that I do remember is when he got home, I found a strange shirt in his washing, which wasn't his taste. He told me that he'd dropped a fried egg sandwich down the front of his shirt, and he'd had to buy a new one in a hurry, before a meeting.

Three possible explanations:

1) His mistress wears men's shirts, in his size, and he accidentally put one in his suitcase.

2) His mistress bought him a shirt as a present while in Paris which he kept in his suitcase, and put it in his washing, for his partner to find because he's a complete idiot.

3) He's telling the truth.

Why was it not his taste? A man's shirt is a man's shirt, unless it's lurid pink or has palm trees on.

Fast-forward to the conversation with the potential other woman, and she gleefully told me about their trip to Paris, holding no details back.

Rather strange for her to be so brazen about it having gone to great lengths to conceal it from the photos when she was in Paris.

I hadn't read your posts properly and have only just clocked that the bunny boiler and the Paris lady are the same person. I really don't understand why you're even in contact with someone who subjected you to threatening behaviour and harrassment, let alone giving them credence over your partner.

FBaby

What you can get from the unused ticket is where it was bought. Could this help in light with the information you know, ie. where his hotel was?
That's as far as it will take you, so after that, you'll need to move on from that piece of evidence.

The bit about the shirt is interesting. Has he kept it? Worn it again? Did you check where it came from (ie. a French shop). I assume she didn't mention checking for a shirt that she bought for him or x brand?

You can't make someone trust you, often the harder you try the more they think you're hiding something. What you see as kindness and trying to reassure them they see as you hiding something.

I have to say that I strongly disagree with this. I started my relationship not trusting my OH (by default) but his actions has certainly made me grow very confident. Why? Because it is ingrained in me that I will occasionally (much less now that at the start obviously) check on some things he tells me. My OH needs to go away for work regularly, also goes on holiday with friends etc... so it is essential that I should trust him. Each and every single time I've carried out some 'checks', I have had the evidence that he wasn't lying, not even a white lie. He always calls me, email me etc... and mainly there has never ever been some suspicious circumstances, like some that OP described with the phone suddenly breaking down, no wifi, coming home with strange shirts, or anything else at all that could lead to suspicions. I have therefore grown to trust him 99.99% (because I think trusting someone 100% is foolish whatever the circumstances).

Cloudydaze

More twists and turns that The Missing!

Was the suspicious shirt a recognisable British brand or could it be French?

Knightsuntold

Malthusian wrote: »

I can easily believe that someone would be stupid enough to take photos of their mistress on a secret trip to Paris and let her post them on Facebook. The bit I struggle with is where someone that stupid successfully conceals the evidence of that affair for years, possibly others, without committing an equally obvious slip-up.



AWOL is short for Absent Without Leave. I thought you said he was away on business.

If the husband had sent you frequent "love you" text messages while you were away, perhaps a phone call one evening, would it have made you feel better? Because he could have easily done that whether he was in Paris with a mistress or whether he was on a business trip. In fact I'd say it would be harder to find time for messages / chatting if he was actually working.



No, but it's irrelevant, because from the behaviour you've described she's got a screw loose. She doesn't need a rational justification.

The fact that she was a "rising star" doesn't surprise me at all. Someone who will go to the extreme lengths you describe is quite clearly capable of accomplishing a great deal as an office assistant if that's what their energy is being directed towards at that particular moment.

It can be done - my ex managed it for two years. The only slip up I remember, was seeing two wine glasses in the sink. When I asked about them, he said that the dog had licked one, so rather than get up and wash it, he'd just grabbed another glass. It sounded reasonable to me at the time, and I even ribbed him for being so lazy. Pity I didn't enquire to the nature of the dog...

Yes, I know what AWOL means. He said he was on business, I don't really know if he was and there is a definite question mark over it. The only other time I remember him having no phone coverage, he drove 15 miles to find some. Plus, the hotel would have had a phone - why not ring me from that, or even the office?

No, love you messages wouldn't have helped, and he wouldn't have been able to send them, as the work's phones do not work from abroad. It was the change in his contact pattern that makes me wonder. Usually, no matter how busy he is, he will make time, and he always calls to say how the day has gone - he calls it his stress relief, because I tease him, and we usually end up giggling.

Yes, when you put it like that, it does make sense. I guess that I'm looking for the reason, which caused her to unleash the crazy.