Paris Metro ticket - possible proof of an affair

Knightsuntold

mark5 wrote: »

Op if this woman was in Paris with your husband then the most convincing evidence she could have shown you were pictures of him in Paris with her, yet she didn't show you one?

No, she hasn't. The closest is a black leather jacket on the back of the chair in the hotel room, and he does wear a black leather jacket... but so do millions of other people.

tea_lover

I'm really sorry to see you're getting the third degree OP.

I had a very similar time with a scary woman claiming she was seeing my (then) partner. She got hold of my number and used to call in the middle of the night, get her mates to send me abusive messages, and even put my windscreen through. Completely mad. She was a scorned ex and my partner was very convincing in his shock at her behaviour. Turns out she was telling the truth though, and they were seeing each other for years.

thorsoak

Knightsuntold wrote: »

The shirt was not to his taste, as he always wears 18.5 inch collar, in a slim fit. As an ex rugby player, his shoulders are massive, but a regular shirt in that size tends to be made for someone with a larger tummy, which he hasn't got. The excess material is one of the few things that winds him up beyond belief.

I'm no longer in contact with her. It went from a normal girl, that you could have a bit of a laugh with, to telling me that she was having an affair with my partner, and then the dodgy behaviour, which could be her, but we have no proof. All this has kicked off again, because I found a Paris Metro ticket in a bag that hasn't been used for a couple of years, but apparently, he's never been to Paris.

Have you ever looked at his passport? I always check mine to confirm dates when I have been to certain places.

FBaby

If this had happened a month after the event, then there would still be plenty you could do to try to get to the bottom of it, but you didn't then and made the decision to believe your husband. You've got to honour that choice. Yes, the ticket triggered the whole insecurity and questions again, but it is telling you nothing alone so you are back to either opening the whole investigation again, or closing it fully again. Since he has given you nothing at all to doubt during that time, is it worth going back in time hoping to find proof you didn't then?

Yes, this will add to the full mystery and it is frustrating that it opened old wounds, but you are where you are and if you're happy, then throw it away and focus on the future.

Pollycat

Knightsuntold wrote: »

Where does it say that I haven't trusted him from the start?

Well, I'm not sure that having a 'just in case' fund means you trust someone 100%.

Knightsuntold wrote: »

Yes, I'm in a position to leave - I've always had a 'just in case' fund.

PeacefulWaters

thorsoak wrote: »

Have you ever looked at his passport? I always check mine to confirm dates when I have been to certain places.

It's a long shot that there'd be a French stamp in it.

Pollycat

Knightsuntold wrote: »

I did trust him. When I was told about the alleged affair, I could have packed my bags and left there and then - I didn't. I stayed and tried to sort it out. Just sit there for a minute and have a think about it. If someone you knew and trusted told you that they were having an affair with your partner, and you found something that could substantiate it, would you instantly dismiss it, or would there be a grain of doubt?

To me, you come across as someone who is determined that this current relationship won't work.

As I said earlier, I too was betrayed. My ex had a 18 month affair with someone he worked with.
I understand where you're coming from.
But if someone told me that my now-husband was having an affair, my first reaction wouldn't be to pack my bags.
It would be to get to the truth of the matter.

Knightsuntold wrote: »

No, I haven't told my dearest friend's partner, as I don't know her. The rift has been caused by me saying that of he doesn't come clean, or break it off, I will tell her.

I have previously told a very good friend that I'd seen her partner with another woman, and even gave her the registration of his car. She called me a liar, and ended our friendship there and then. 18 months later, she apologised, because she'd found out that he was seeing not one other woman, but four. Our friendship was never the same again.

I don't actually know why I'm explaining this - I feel as though I'm on trial, and having to answer to people I don't even know.

I was just trying to determine if you had double standards.
Not OK for someone not to tell you, OK for you to know of someone else's affair but say nothing.

Glad to hear you said something to your friend at least.

thorsoak

If he's been in France, for the week in question, it would show! Mine shows when I've gone into a country and when I've come out of it and the dates.

PeacefulWaters

thorsoak wrote: »

If he's been in France, for the week in question, it would show! Mine shows when I've gone into a country and when I've come out of it and the dates.

Mine only shows USA.

I've done half of Europe without a mark.

-taff

Well, you believed she was lying when you logically worked out she was lying. Was the Paris thing before or after she said he was with her when you know he was with you?