Paris Metro ticket - possible proof of an affair

Knightsuntold

Gloomendoom wrote: »

That's just most people though. It still leaves a minority who would.

Years ago, a colleague of mine lost both his job and wife when he let himself and his mistress be interviewed on national TV while visiting the boat show in London.

His wife thought he was on a business trip and we thought he was sick at home.

Wow. That's the definition of stupid. A colleague of mine from years ago had a three year relationship with a man. She stayed over at his flat, wore his engagement ring and was blissfully happy. When she found out she was pregnant, she just thought it was the icing on the cake, and would bring the wedding forward. Not so. He had a wife and kids, who lived at his country house, and who he had no intentions of leaving.

Knightsuntold

Malthusian wrote: »

Three possible explanations:

1) His mistress wears men's shirts, in his size, and he accidentally put one in his suitcase.

2) His mistress bought him a shirt as a present while in Paris which he kept in his suitcase, and put it in his washing, for his partner to find because he's a complete idiot.

3) He's telling the truth.

Why was it not his taste? A man's shirt is a man's shirt, unless it's lurid pink or has palm trees on.

Rather strange for her to be so brazen about it having gone to great lengths to conceal it from the photos when she was in Paris.

I hadn't read your posts properly and have only just clocked that the bunny boiler and the Paris lady are the same person. I really don't understand why you're even in contact with someone who subjected you to threatening behaviour and harrassment, let alone giving them credence over your partner.

The shirt was not to his taste, as he always wears 18.5 inch collar, in a slim fit. As an ex rugby player, his shoulders are massive, but a regular shirt in that size tends to be made for someone with a larger tummy, which he hasn't got. The excess material is one of the few things that winds him up beyond belief.

I'm no longer in contact with her. It went from a normal girl, that you could have a bit of a laugh with, to telling me that she was having an affair with my partner, and then the dodgy behaviour, which could be her, but we have no proof. All this has kicked off again, because I found a Paris Metro ticket in a bag that hasn't been used for a couple of years, but apparently, he's never been to Paris.

Knightsuntold

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I have felt for a very long time that the expression 'no such thing as coincidence' (which incidentally I heard only minutes ago from a speaker on the Jeremy Vine show) is on a par with that totally evil expression 'no smoke without fire'.

One or two of the threads I have started on here concern some of the stunningly unbelievable coincidences that have cropped up in my life in recent years and I have also experienced at first hand the damage done by the baseless suspicion/accusation inflicted on innocent people by that nasty little innuendo re smoke.

Only last week, I bought a charity shop book and on opening it once home, an airline boarding pass from March fell out. A previous reader had used it as a bookmark.

Imagine the trouble that might have caused in the wrong hands and with a background of matrimonial uncertainty!

I can see what you're saying, and if it had fallen out of a charity book, or been for anywhere other than Paris, I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

k3lvc

z1a wrote: »

Just a shot in the dark, but are the last 2 digits on your ticket 16?
Wondering if that may be the year of printing, in which case ops ticket would tally with MIL 5 years ago.

No - each ticket has 3 numbers



3001A17 is common to all
68169905 19 is common to all


00559193 is common to all and it's then followed by a letter which differs by ticket


All tickets were bought in a batch on 23rd June so feel free to try and decipher a code from that

Knightsuntold

FBaby wrote: »

What you can get from the unused ticket is where it was bought. Could this help in light with the information you know, ie. where his hotel was?
That's as far as it will take you, so after that, you'll need to move on from that piece of evidence.

The bit about the shirt is interesting. Has he kept it? Worn it again? Did you check where it came from (ie. a French shop). I assume she didn't mention checking for a shirt that she bought for him or x brand?


I have to say that I strongly disagree with this. I started my relationship not trusting my OH (by default) but his actions has certainly made me grow very confident. Why? Because it is ingrained in me that I will occasionally (much less now that at the start obviously) check on some things he tells me. My OH needs to go away for work regularly, also goes on holiday with friends etc... so it is essential that I should trust him. Each and every single time I've carried out some 'checks', I have had the evidence that he wasn't lying, not even a white lie. He always calls me, email me etc... and mainly there has never ever been some suspicious circumstances, like some that OP described with the phone suddenly breaking down, no wifi, coming home with strange shirts, or anything else at all that could lead to suspicions. I have therefore grown to trust him 99.99% (because I think trusting someone 100% is foolish whatever the circumstances).

He was supposed to be in the UK, and I think it was somewhere around Bristol, but I can't remember.

I don't remember enough about the shirt, other than it was massive enough for me to have a closer look at it. I think the label began with a 'C', but again, I'm not sure. At the time, I didn't have reason to question it. He's never worn it again, and I haven't seen it again - it's certainly not in his wardrobe now. I don't think she mentioned a shirt, but she could have done. At that point, I was so shocked and hurt, I think I took in about 10% of what she was saying.

Yes, I was like you before this. My partner worked so hard to reassure me that there would be nothing to worry about, and it worked.

FBaby

Stupid comment from myself, of course knowing where the ticket was bought wouldn't help, unless you start asking your MIL which hotel she stayed in and which itinerary she took, which would be quite odd.

On the point of him staying at a hotel around Bristol, did you ever go back and do check around this? How was he supposed to have got there, train/car, any petrol receipts, hotel receipts (if paid by him). One thing, did you try to call his mobile, because it often rings differently when calling abroad.

The danger here is that strangers are going to come up with other possible avenues to investigate and this could start the whole thing again and make you feel very miserable.

If I were you, I would forget about this metro ticket because I think we can conclude that you'll learn nothing from it, and continue to live your life normally, just keeping alert to any discrepancies in his actions/words etc... but I am guessing that's what you've done in the last two years and if anything had come up that raised alarm bells, you would have mentioned it here, so we can assume that nothing has in the last 2 years, and that sounds pretty good evidence that even if something happened two years ago, he has learned his lesson since.

Fireflyaway

I would question what would happen if you found out he did cheat on you in the past? Would you leave or try to get over it because it was long ago and he has been fine since? I guess its the not knowing that's eating away at you but even if the ticket could be tracked down to a certain date it still doesn't prove anything. He could always make up a cover story or he might tell the truth and you not believe him anyway.
I honestly have come to the conclusion that there isn't much you can do to stop a partner cheating. Even the nicest most beautiful successful woman get cheated on. Usually its not a reflection in them just a desire for the partner to boost thier own ego or have a distraction from stresses in life.
If this were me I would try hard to forget it and move on. If everything is fine apart from this. Try to not appear too needy or over suspicious but if you really can't trust him in general then maybe you could try counselling.

Any

Ok, one question....
Why do you think that this man, who has been with you through all your issues, insecurities and flaws, is still with you???

The thing is-he IS WITH YOU!!
He had chance to run, to break it off at any time...and he didn't!!!
Obviously he WANTS YOU!

(Unless you have something else he might want and this all would be worth the triuble...I guess not!)

Pollycat

Knightsuntold wrote: »

Yes, I know what AWOL means. He said he was on business, I don't really know if he was and there is a definite question mark over it. The only other time I remember him having no phone coverage, he drove 15 miles to find some. Plus, the hotel would have had a phone - why not ring me from that, or even the office?

I think the bit in bold is very illuminating.

Sadly, I don't think the OP will ever trust her partner.
And I can't see the relationship ending well.

calleyw

Any wrote: »

Ok, one question....
Why do you think that this man, who has been with you through all your issues, insecurities and flaws, is still with you???

He wont be for much longer if she carries on like this. I would tire of that very quickly, someone wanting to know where I was at all times.

I use to go up to my parents and tell my husband I was nipping up my parents for 20 mins or so. 2 hrs later I would come back. Mobile signal is rubbish so he would have to call the landline. I asked him did it not worry you. He said no I trust you.

If I found that ticket I might say something in passing about it. But not accuse the poor chap of cheating.

Personally I would have one foot out the door if I was the chap as he can't win. And what you say about your female friends and there partners. Well they should be single as that is just not normal. And why the blokes puts up with I never know.

The last 4 years for me have been horrendous for me relationship wise. And I never thought I would ever have another relationship as I was too messed up and could never trust anyone. But guess what I found someone who I can trust. And he trusts me.

My life is an open book. And I am happy to show my bf my phone and anything else he wants to see.

If you have not trusted from the start then the relationship is doomed and wont last.

I think the op needs to really think about what she really wants. if all she is going to do is worry constantly that he will or has cheated better off getting out and staying single.

Yours

Calley