Paris Metro ticket - possible proof of an affair

gingercordial

Knightsuntold wrote: »

That is amazing - thank you. The ticket appears to be unused.

No problem.

So if it's unused, is it a carnet ticket? It would have the word carnet printed on it if so. That means it was bought as a book of 10 (sorry if this is obvious and you already know this!) and they come out of the machine loose and are easy to lose down in the folds of a bag. Could easily have been misplaced by your mother in law or indeed your husband.

I have some at home (I'm at work at the moment) so will check tonight whether the digits seem to correspond with the year of purchase but I doubt it.

I understand why you're worried about this - who wouldn't be after the woman told you what she did?

Malthusian

z1a wrote: »

Just a shot in the dark, but are the last 2 digits on your ticket 16?

I had a look at Paris Metro tickets on Google Images and there's one which has been stamped with a similar number (67 at the beginning) that ends with the number 23. So unfortunately, I think it's a coincidence.

Malthusian

The "other woman" is quite clearly not right upstairs, and I would never dream of giving her even a shred of credence over the person I loved.

Apart from all the things you've listed, the fact that her necklace was identical to yours is really weird. Men do not buy the same necklace for their mistress that they buy for their wife. If they are cheating it means they want to be with someone else, they don't try and pretend that other person is their wife by making them wear the same jewellery.

From the behavior you've described she was stalking you as much as she was stalking your partner.

Knightsuntold

Pollycat wrote: »

TBH, I don't see it as that damning.

The OP has explained how this woman could have been in possession of a lot of this information, she may even have picked the OP's OH's phone up and read some of his messages to his wife so knew how to sign off texts.

She did slip up - because she didn't know the OP was with her OH when she said she was.

She could easily have read his texts, and he's a swine for leaving his phone just anywhere and unlocked. Plus, it's a company issue phone, so exactly the same as the one she had.

duchy

So the only "proof" you have of a suspected affair is the word of a woman who has a grudge against your husband and you know she's a liar with the hotel slip up. Logically if there were times they spent the night together then she wouldn't have had to invent others (like the one you know she lied to you about)

Why would you believe someone like that instead of your husband who you've never found to be deceitful and isn't a habitual liar or fantasist. (Not just yours and your husband's opinion but also that of someone else who worked with her ( in my experience people in a work environment tend to keep their heads down and not get involved in domestic situations so I'd listen if she said the woman had form for this sort of stuff)

To talk about ending your marriage on the basis of a carnet ticket (most people who buy one don't use them all ) does sound bonkers.

I don't think you have a husband problem but I do think a bit of counselling might help you keep things in better perspective and be good for you and your relationships.

I do get it , when my husband cheated I struggled with trust and wouldn't get involved with anyone for a long time ......when I caught my next partner out cheating, my primary emotion was relief that I had been picking up on signs and my suspicions of him were justified and not me not trusting him for no reason as he claimed. I'm now with someone who would never cheat and I trust him implicitly , you can get over trust issues but you have to want to tooand not be overprotective of yourself , which is where I think counselling would benefit you after all she put you both through which ate away at your already battered trustfulness.

Knightsuntold

Pollycat wrote: »

If you can, assume that your OH wasn't having an affair and has never been unfaithful.

You confronted him at the time and he denied it.
You say you've been wary ever since.

You also say you had been looking forward to a weekend away but this has knocked you a bit.

Unless he's totally oblivious or you're an Oscar-winning actress, he's bound to realise that something is not quite right.

How would you feel if you were totally innocent and it's clear that your partner doesn't believe you?

Glad to hear that 'talking' about this is helping.
You really are not the only person to have gone through betrayal.

That's what I'm trying to do. I think that my main problem is that I don't understand why someone would do this, unless there was something more substantial behind it. There again, I'm coming from the angle where I would never do something like this, and what is unacceptable to me, won't be unacceptable to someone else.

I'm not an Oscar winning actress, but I can certainly act, and frequently have a front on. Things have been a bit tough recently, for a host of other reasons, so if I'm quiet, my partner will put it down to that.

Yes, something I always keep in mind is how I would feel if he was accusing me.

Sadly, I know I'm not the only one on the betrayal front - one of my dearest friends is having an affair right now, which has caused a massive rift between us.

Malthusian

One thing you've not told us is why you think your partner was cheating on you in the first place. You said that this woman was in Paris while your partner was away on business. You didn't say why you thought he was cheating with her in particular as opposed to the dozens of other acquaintances who weren't at home during the same dates. I ask not just out of nosiness but it's amazing how something can be put in a completely different light when you explain it to other people.

Most people off on a secret trip to Paris with their mistress would not be taking photos of them for them to post on Facebook. That sounds a pretty moronic thing to do for someone who's successfully concealed their cheating for several years.

PeacefulWaters

She sounds like a nutter.

Even if he did stray with, he'd never stray again for fear of ending up with the ultimate bunny boiler.

fairy_lights

Knightsuntold wrote: »

She didn't back off quietly. There were a number of anonymous complaints made to my partner's work, all of which were investigated, and he was cleared of, but the pressure was awful. We had 36 calls to his mobile on Christmas Day. My car was vandalised. I had flowers delivered in work on Valentine's Day, and rang to thank him, only he hadn't sent them. I got text messages telling me that blue suited me, when I'd been wearing a blue dress. Anything and everything that went wrong, she got the blame for. Another girl that works in the firm told me to watch my back, and she intimated that the other girl had form for this, but wouldn't give me anything concrete. It wasn't just the things that happened, it was the fear of what could happen. Then it all stopped, as suddenly as it started. I think I saw her with another man, but I couldn't swear to it - it was just a fleeting glimpse.

Did you report any of this to the police, or the company they both work for? That sounds like serious harassment and could have cost her her job.

Knightsuntold

gingercordial wrote: »

No problem.

So if it's unused, is it a carnet ticket? It would have the word carnet printed on it if so. That means it was bought as a book of 10 (sorry if this is obvious and you already know this!) and they come out of the machine loose and are easy to lose down in the folds of a bag. Could easily have been misplaced by your mother in law or indeed your husband.

I have some at home (I'm at work at the moment) so will check tonight whether the digits seem to correspond with the year of purchase but I doubt it.

I understand why you're worried about this - who wouldn't be after the woman told you what she did?

It is a carnet ticket. Any information is gratefully received, as I've never even seen one before. I would have thrown it away, without a second thought, other than it said Paris on it.