Paris Metro ticket - possible proof of an affair

FBaby

I understand how you feel, when you've been bitten once, the anxiety when faced with potential evidence that it's happened again can overrule everything.

The whole thing about 'if you don't trust you should go is ridiculous', when the issue is often not with the person but with ourselves. You know that either he has cheated or he hasn't and you need the evidence one way or the other so that whatever decision you make is based on tangible evidence, not gut feelings that could be totally wrong.

To go back to your question. Yes it does. The number at the top tells you all that information. The first number is the time (00 to 12). The second should be a letter that tells you the day (L for Lundi, M for Mardi etc...). The next is a 1 or 2, referring to whether it is AM or PM (1 for AM, 2 for PM) and the next is the week of the year (so 01 to 52).

Hope this helps and that it doesn't relate to that date in question.

duchy

I don't think it is ridiculous at all.
Some people are damaged and find if very difficult to trust again.

With no other markers the odds are that logically this ticket was indeed the MILs or at worst he made a big mistake two years ago and has not strayed since. With no other indications of cheating I'd tend to go for the former as the OP says her MIL was indeed in Paris and does pinch their luggage when she goes away.

The bigger problem is the OPs first thought was he must have cheated when confronted with even the smallest possibility that me might have. It is a flag that there are trust issues whether real or imagined that the OP should be addressing.

Knightsuntold

*max* wrote: »

According to this site (if you read French...): http://www.symbioz.net/index.php?id=58, the number you gave looks like the number of the machine that printed it, at manufacturing stage. It won't tell you anything you want to know.

This is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for - thank you so much.

Knightsuntold

gingercordial wrote: »

The serial number probably won't help but it might be possible to tell if/when the ticket was used. When you pass a metro ticket through the barriers, they will print something on it to show it has been used (the magnetic strip also gets affected, but this is visual proof to a ticket inspector that you went through the barriers properly).

The problem is that different stations have vastly different barrier set ups, depending on their age.

So some modern, clear ones will print the date and time of use very clearly, like so:

https://goo.gl/images/0Wu5mO

I assume it doesn't have that because you wouldn't be asking.

Some barriers just print a short code and it might be possible to work something out from this (maybe); equally it might just be the code for the station it was used at and not a date. ETA: turns out if clear these can be decoded to a date though not a year, eg "Friday in 1st week of March" which then may or may not match when in the year was the suspect business trip.

https://goo.gl/images/Xc4Wbr

https://goo.gl/images/SX3vxt

And other barriers just print an illegible splodge:

https://goo.gl/images/oaQ31L

Printing can be in purple or black; I've never seen another colour.

On the other hand if there's nothing printed on it at all the ticket is likely unused.

Can you make anything out that looks like the above, or any other extra printing?

My images don't seem to work but follow the links.

That is amazing - thank you. The ticket appears to be unused.

Pollycat

anotheruser wrote: »

Or ask the mother in law if she's ever been to Paris?

I don't think she needs to.

Knightsuntold wrote: »

I know that his mum went to Paris about 5 years ago, and could well have used this bag.

The way I see it is that because she was cheated on by a previous partner she's having trust issues (and OP, yes I do understand that because it happened to me too).

She doesn't know that her partner had an affair, she only suspected it.
She knows her MIL went to Paris and probably used the bag.

Sure, her partner was away on business at the same time this woman was in Paris but if he was in the sort of job that meant he had to go away a lot on business, is this so suspicious?

FBaby

That is my point, people have very different levels of trust and if your thresholds are low, it doesn't mean that your relationship has no future.

Trust is not much different to anxiety. Some people get anxious very easily when faced with certain factors in the same way that some people's trust can be swayed easily when confronted with potential evidence.

In both cases, it comes down to control and the fear of losing it. Of course a relationship is going to suffer if the issue of trust becomes dominant, but that's the point of gaining evidence. I expect if the ticket turns out to relate to a totally different period than the one in question, OP will laugh at herself, put in the bin and move on. If however it happens to match the time her husband has claimed high that he wasn't there, and she knows her MIL was in the country, then it will give her food for thought as to what to do next.

Knightsuntold

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

If you want a lie detector test try Jeremy Kyle.

When gut instinct and coincidence collide it's often confirmation that your gut instinct is probably right.

But not conclusively.

How ironic... when the problem first arose a couple of years ago, he did offer to take a lie detector test.

I agree on the gut instinct and the coincidence collision, but I know my judgement is flawed. When this happened with my ex, I did not have a clue. I literally turned up to surprise him, and it was me that got the surprise of my life. Even though I caught him red-handed, he still tried to run the "it's not what you think" line, and the "it's you I love" line. Nothing like wanting believe the lies, even though you know they're lies, to really screw your head up. I vowed I would never be so gullible again, which is part of the problem now.

Knightsuntold

coolcait wrote: »

The 'evidence' is probably irrelevant.

If you don't trust him - to the extent that you're asking these questions about a metro ticket that may or may not have been used by him; which you found in a bag which may or may not have been used by him - is this really the kind of relationship you want to be in?

If he saw this thread - where you explain how/why you don't trust him. To the extent that you're asking these questions about a metro ticket that may or may not have been used by him; which you found in a bag which may or may not have been used by him.

Would he ask himself "Is this really the kind of relationship you want to be in?"

He took me on, warts and all. He knew what I'd been through. I have friends, of both sexes, who accuse their partners on a regular basis, and I don't want to be like that. I know that I'm on high alert, and I'm trying to keep that under control. I'm very aware that if you keep accusing someone, they're more likely to do it.

Knightsuntold

cashewnut wrote: »

Okay, but this is the marriage, relationships and families forum, not the decipher the metro ticket forum!

Do you think you could present it to him and read his expression correctly? I am sorry you're going through this and hope you get the answers you need.

Believe me, if I could have found a Metro Ticket Forum, I would have been on there! I thought I was ok to post on here, as if this is what I think it is, my relationship is over. I'm sorry if I've got that wrong.

I'm worried about showing him the ticket. I don't want a "not this again" reaction, if I'm wrong, which I could be. On top of that, I remember what my ex was like. He was so plausible, and convincing, even though it was a pack of lies. Every time I thought I had the truth, more things would come out of the woodwork, literally days later. It was like that for months. Even now, 20 years on, I'm still finding things out. So much secrecy, and so many lies.

Pollycat

Knightsuntold wrote: »

How ironic... when the problem first arose a couple of years ago, he did offer to take a lie detector test.

I agree on the gut instinct and the coincidence collision, but I know my judgement is flawed. When this happened with my ex, I did not have a clue. I literally turned up to surprise him, and it was me that got the surprise of my life. Even though I caught him red-handed, he still tried to run the "it's not what you think" line, and the "it's you I love" line. Nothing like wanting believe the lies, even though you know they're lies, to really screw your head up. I vowed I would never be so gullible again, which is part of the problem now.

Yes, it is part of the problem now and could end up wrecking your relationship.

You are projecting your ex's infidelity onto your current partner with no proof (or none that you have shared with us) that he had been unfaithful.