Paris Metro ticket - possible proof of an affair

Knightsuntold

duchy wrote: »

Is he the kind of man who would even think to buy a carnet of tickets .....most men it wouldn't even occur to them and would pay as you go.

Dunno where he stayed in Bristol but I do recall the Hilton had rubbish mobile signal when I stayed there (bit random but just in case that was where he stayed)

Why don't you just ask him to see his expense returns, meals for two on every single business trip would show up. I would question if she was there on every trip whether she did indeed attend in her job role (and her own room) and if not how she held her job down with so much absence. She may very well have been on the same trip sometimes as a legitimate business reason but when telling you changed it from a few of his trips to all of his trips. The most convincing lies are built on a crumb of truth as a foundation but fabrication built on top. The fact she came to you with all the "evidence" conveniently to hand smacks of something planned and with time to create her own version of documents.

Honestly nothing she has come up with is "proof". Take away her version and look purely at facts and we have a ticket that could have come from anywhere in a compartment that is never used,a woman who may indeed have had legitimate reasons to be on the same business trip sometimes but nothing that says they socialised beyond normal work levels except her word".......... and after she had left you were warned she had form as a troublemaker (and she was unhappy to be transferred, if she was that much of an asset she'd have been able to decline the transfer or her boss would have not transferred her in the first place.....could be her odd behaviour was noticed ?) Obviously you'll know how common sudden and unwelcome transfers are within his company or if this was unusual for the company.

Either your previous relationship has made you unreasonably suspicious or your 6th sense is telling you he's a cheat. I knew without any concrete proof my ex had cheated , outwardly everything was normal but there was some subtle change I picked up on (to this day I don't know what I just knew) however in your case two years have passed and this has just resurfaced so I don't think it's the same. But only you know for sure.

As you have access to her FB it might be interesting to see if there are check ins at places nowhere near where he was on business . If there are and taking into account you know she already lied about your anniversary it might help you confirm or otherwise her truthfulness.

No, I don't think he would buy a carnet of tickets, and he's definitely a buy as you go kind of guy.

He has stayed in the Hilton, but I don't know if he did for this particular trip. In any event, I'm pretty sure he would have been out and about for most of the day and evening. He tries to see as many people as he can, and he often takes people for a drink, as he says that when people are relaxed, you get the truth out of them, and not the carefully prepared things that they've been told to say. I'm certain he would have mobile coverage, or access to phone.

The expenses would tell me very little. The firm always books a double room for each party, and it's not unusual for him to meet up with others and entertain. He always travels with at least one PA, but he doesn't expect them to be with him constantly - once the working day is done, they're free to do their own thing. Yes, she certainly came to me with all the evidence stacked up.

The firm went through a streamlining process, and the number of staff allowed in each department was cut by around a third. Yes, she could have refused the transfer, but as she was on a mobile contract, she would have been putting herself out a job. I know my partner fought to keep her, but it was a done deal by the time he found out.

Yep, and there's the dilemma. Am I being unreasonably suspicious, or is it the old 6th sense. I know that because of my previous experience, I do try to be more than reasonable over situations, It's very easy to read more into things, or to make things fit.

Yes, there are check ins to where he was staying, but I would expect there to be. He made no secret of the fact that she often part of the group.

NotBothered

Ive been lurking no this for a couple of days but thought my rather dodgy point of view may be helpful???

Given what you have said, I would take the stance that something definitely DID happen with the woman in question, however, this ended a lot quicker than she had wanted it to.

In your position I think I would try to remember the fact that you have a loving relationship and have had no reason to doubt him over the past couple of years - if he made a mistake and had a fling does it matter now? Is it a threat to your relationship now?

In other words - if you truly believe that he cheated on you could you forgive him?

Knightsuntold

Jamiehelsinki wrote: »

The ticket could have been placed in his bag by the same woman around the time she approached you if he had left his bag in the office at all.

There's to many maybe's with all this, don't ruin a relationship because of what an ex has done to you in the past.

Things like this eat away at you and your constantly looking for more evidence, I've been there in the past.

Yes, it could have been, and I have thought of that. The only thing that makes me think it couldn't be, is that I bought him a new bag. I know the new bag was in use when the animosity broke out. I couldn't see any reason in planting it before then, unless she was hoping I'd find it and start asking questions.

Knightsuntold

thorsoak wrote: »

You are convincing yourself that the affair did happen.

No, I'm not, I'm just more open to the possibility that it could have done.

Knightsuntold

firebird082 wrote: »

OP, have you simply asked your partner about the ticket? What does he say?

The other woman sounds completely mental, and I can't understand why you would take her accusations seriously, apart from your specific relationship history. Does she know about any of that?

Edit to add: I find stuff in our travel bags from years ago, as we never quite manage to clear them completely - it wouldn't say it's unusual for it to be missed multiple times and them found later.

No, not yet. I wanted a more evidence before I did, such as when the ticket was issued. Due to my history, I tend to exhaust all other avenues, before asking him direct.

Yes, the other woman does know about my history. I told her about it when we talking about relationships, somewhat ironically, telling her that it was possible to trust again, after being cheated on!

Oh, I agree, I know I've missed things in the past, but this is a ticket from a place we've never been to, and although my partner's mum has been, I really can't remember of she took this bag.

Knightsuntold

duchy wrote: »

I found a boarding pass from a three year old trip recently. I've used the same cabin bag for numerous trips since so yes it is possible. Why not just ask him , and not happy with the answer tell him you want to see his business credit card statements and expenses claims for that time. It has to be better than torturing yourself like this !

Yes, but I bet the tickets were for places you'd been to, and not a completely random one. I've seen the statements from that time, but they're silent - he generally deal in cash, or his company credit card.

Knightsuntold

thorsoak wrote: »

Now I am prepared to be flamed for this post - I've kept up all the way through, but after reading your most recent post, I'm asking you a different question - are you working on the plot of a novel?

I'm sure someone else mentioned that and I don't understand it. What would be the point in it? Is that something people do on here? Actually, thinking about it, it could explain some of the more out there responses. Goad the upset woman and see what her reactions are... nice!

fairy_lights

I really think you need to speak to your partner about this - he might lie but he might come clean. Or he might have a perfectly reasonable explanation - is it possible that he lent the other woman the bag to take on her trip?

Knightsuntold

melanzana wrote: »

You will not be flamed.

I asked the same thing in post#8 at the very early stages of the saga!!

Saga. Lovely. I'm glad that you view my problems in that way, and I've presumably provided you all with some free entertainment.

duchy

I don't think he had an affair

Could he have had a drunken snog one night - then regretted it the next morning and told her it could never happen again because he loves his wife.......... Yes it could and would explain her wanting retribution.And going from normal to buunyboiler in 30 seconds (although equally the same could be said if she tried to kiss him and he rebuffed her I suppose)

But if that IS all it was........is that enough to break your marriage over ?