Changing dating strategy? Any ideas please?

KnightRider

Thanks for all the replies - I have been reading them all but not had time to say anything until now (on my lunch break at the mo).


Finding one person a night that sounds interesting is actually working ok for me so far. Already talking about meeting up with one and have a couple of other possibilities too.


I'm looking at meetup groups in my area too.

Smartsaver7

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I hate being the centre of attention (odd when you consider my job)

Are you a film or TV star ??!!:)

Smartsaver7

KnightRider wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies - I have been reading them all but not had time to say anything until now (on my lunch break at the mo).


Finding one person a night that sounds interesting is actually working ok for me so far. Already talking about meeting up with one and have a couple of other possibilities too.


I'm looking at meetup groups in my area too.

Thanks for starting what has become an interesting discussion , I am sure we all wish you every success :beer:

onomatopoeia99

indiepanda wrote: »

In fact, the idea of a wedding with lots of people staring at me I find quite terrifying, and I used to say if I did marry it would be an overseas affair with enough guests to act as witnesses and no more.

I so completely agree with this.

A lot of people people don't understand at all though,. I once explained it and got told "a wedding isn't for the people getting married" :eek:

Ozzuk

One bit of advice, don't chat for ages, if you get on arrange a date. Otherwise it drags out, people lose interest, someone better comes along etc..

Gloomendoom

Smartsaver7 wrote: »

Are you a film or TV star ??!!:)

I'm afraid not, but I do give solo (recorded) performances to quite large audiences.

Got another one to do shortly. I'm supposed to be preparing for it.

Gloomendoom

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

I once explained it and got told "a wedding isn't for the people getting married" :eek:

A lot of people don't get that either. You are hosting a party so that other people can celebrate your marriage with you.

Unfortunately, it only dawned on me after I upset a load of people by running off and, in effect, eloping.

smudger1964

Ozzuk wrote: »

One bit of advice, don't chat for ages, if you get on arrange a date. Otherwise it drags out, people lose interest, someone better comes along etc..

I definately second this one..too many ladies seem to want to chat on the dating site forever and a day..Theres only so much "hi how has your day been" I can put up with and I give up..sooo boring..Just get out from behind the pc and meet for a drink its the only way you are going to know

Malthusian

I stand by my advice on the previous thread that if you're regularly meeting people in person then you're doing nothing wrong. It's when you're going for weeks without getting any response at all that online dating is not going well.

Meeting random person after random person is the only way of finding the one you want to spend your life with (and vice versa). What online dating is good at is increasing the number of random people you meet. Especially for those who wouldn't meet enough random people through work or hobbies or talking to strangers in pubs.

You can't expect to meet "the one" out of half a dozen people. How many people out of those you meet in general life do you get romantically attracted to, even if you restrict it to the desired gender and age range? 1 in 20? 1 in 50? You just have to keep rolling the dice until the right number comes up. Which it will.

Echo what other people have said about arranging dates. After you've swapped a couple of messages, the next message should ask whether they want to meet (obviously not to the point of derailing a perfectly good conversation). Either you're interested enough in each other to meet in real life or not. If they just want to chat online then either you're on a paid-for dating site and you're talking to a plant, or they just like to waste time.

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I wince when hear people say/write that "Marriage is just a piece of paper". Regardless of your religious views, it's a very significant piece of paper.

Do people actually say this? The same thing applies to cheques for ten million quid and death certificates.

tea_lover

Malthusian wrote: »

Meeting random person after random person is the only way of finding the one you want to spend your life with (and vice versa). What online dating is good at is increasing the number of random people you meet. Especially for those who wouldn't meet enough random people through work or hobbies or talking to strangers in pubs.

You can't expect to meet "the one" out of half a dozen people. How many people out of those you meet in general life do you get romantically attracted to, even if you restrict it to the desired gender and age range? 1 in 20? 1 in 50? You just have to keep rolling the dice until the right number comes up. Which it will.

On the flip side (just to offer another perspective)... this kind of view that there's always something better so just keep trying can be the problem in itself. Of course you can meet "the one" out of 6 people. Maybe if you meet 50 people you're so focused on what the next one might have to offer that you miss out on a lot of great people along the way.