Wedding cake

Rosemary7391

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Really?.....

I thought that comment was a bit strange too - I think it should be like that.

Pollycat

LKRDN_Morgan wrote: »

OP don't listen to this. It's absolutely not normal behaviour to bump friends down the list in favour of a partner. It's a poor excuse used by people incapable of functioning outside of their relationship.

Adults are more than capable of having more than 1 close friend. And shockingly enough your husband/wife does not HAVE to be your best friend.

I've known a few people who, as soon as they find a bloke, drop me as a friend.

Strangely enough, I'm never available when said bloke is no longer on the scene and they want to pick up our friendship where it left off. :rotfl:

I don't think it's an unusual thing to happen.
A friend of mine who has been single for lot of years regularly complains to me about other friends who treat her as a 'put down and pick up friend' depending how their love life is going.

Rosemary7391

Pollycat wrote: »

I've known a few people who, as soon as they find a bloke, drop me as a friend.

Strangely enough, I'm never available when said bloke is no longer on the scene and they want to pick up our friendship where it left off. :rotfl:

I don't think it's an unusual thing to happen.
A friend of mine who has been single for lot of years regularly complains to me about other friends who treat her as a 'put down and pick up friend' depending how their love life is going.

This is tangential to the original topic, as I don't think it applies at all to this friend, but it does bother me as a general concept. It seems very unreasonable.

LKRDN_Morgan

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Really?.....

Really.
One does not automatically replace the other.

Pollycat

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

This is tangential to the original topic, as I don't think it applies at all to this friend, but it does bother me as a general concept. It seems very unreasonable.

Of course you know your friend better than we do and I'm glad that it's not the case between you two.

As with weddings, when someone is all loved up in a relationship, 'reasonable-ness' is not always a word in their dictionary.

FBaby

Some people are naturally very keen to help and even feel validated doing so, and as such, pleasing almost becomes a need. This can in turn put people under pressure. I think the fact they don't want you to do the cake shows that they care about you because they don't want to find themselves in a position to hurt your feelings if things didn't go to plan.

The best thing you can do as a close friend is to regularly ask him how things are going and listening to him rumbling on about how stressful it is.

coolcait

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

.....
I'm amused by the number of people inventing extra women involved - I'm female, but both friend and friend's partner are male

I thought it was quite obvious that your post wasn't about a 'traditional' situation - where you're female, your closest friend is female and your closest friend's partner is male. The complete absence of any gender specific pronouns or words like 'groom' or 'bride' rather gave that away.

However, I stepped back from my original wording of he/she in my reply as it looked clumsy. Not quite as clumsy as the use of 'they' to refer to an individual, but clumsy. Also, it was your 'big reveal' not mine.

I can't believe that anyone is that unreasonable! And it still doesn't make sense to not explain that to me if it were true. I'm not likely to be upset by randomers not liking the cake and my friend knows I'm well versed in ignoring relatives anyway. .....

They might see your behaviour as unreasonable if they read this thread. They might think that they have given all the explanation or reasoning that they have to give for their decision not to take you up on the offer of making their wedding cake.

It is their decision. They don't have to give any more details than they feel comfortable giving - and they've actually been very open about the family dynamics involved. Far more open than many people might be.

Sometimes the only way to 'understand' things is by understanding that everyone is different.

Also, given how much you seem to have invested in the idea of being the one to make the wedding cake, the final sentence I've quoted above doesn't really ring true, I'm afraid.

Your friend hasn't 'hidden behind his tongue'. He hasn't been afraid that you will understand him. He would like you to understand him. Help him . Give him the gift that you ask for in your signature.

And then move on from this event.

Noctu

Your responses to this thread illustrate exactly why your friend and his fianc! don't want you to make their wedding cake. You're not open to other opinions or suggestions at all and come across as defensive to the last. His isn't what the soon to be married want to deal with when sorting out a wedding cake. Sorry...

Soundgirlrocks

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

I've looked on google images for "Wedding cake" and I can honestly say I don't think anything there is beyond me, especially with the amount of time to practise

Hi OP, I'm sure your cakes are scummy, however there is a massive jump to producing professionally iced wedding cake. Your comment above suggests to me that you might not have done a wedding cake before, perhaps thats why your friends don't want to take you up on your offer? The simpler the design the harder it is (less to hide any mistakes behind). If you want to develop these skills I recommend joining British Sugar Craft Guild, there will be a branch local to you.

I do cakes as a sideline business after years of pressure from friends and family to go pro. I have been asked to save the day on more than one occasion when friends have volunteered a cake only to discover they don't have the skill required.

Lily-Rose_3

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

Hi OP, I'm sure your cakes are scummy, however there is a massive jump to producing professionally iced wedding cake. Your comment above suggests to me that you might not have done a wedding cake before, perhaps thats why your friends don't want to take you up on your offer? The simpler the design the harder it is (less to hide any mistakes behind). If you want to develop these skills I recommend joining British Sugar Craft Guild, there will be a branch local to you.

I do cakes as a sideline business after years of pressure from friends and family to go pro. I have been asked to save the day on more than one occasion when friends have volunteered a cake only to discover they don't have the skill required.

I think (or hope!) that you meant to put SCRUMMY here! :rotfl::rotfl: :rotfl: