Wedding cake

suejb2

My post made the M.S.E email once, I was really pleased. You're sounding a bit too precious about it all.

Their wedding ,their choice, their cake

Post anything online and lose the right to its ownership.

pebbles88

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

Ipeople assuming I couldn't actually do what I'd offered.

Most posters were trying to tell you regardless of whether you feel able to make their cake, that it's entirely up to the couple over what they wish for their wedding, and they don't want you to make the cake. That's what matters, not your skills/technique.

I've just seen your friend knows you posted this, & they were seriously ok with it? Honestly??? :eek::eek::eek:

Hopefully, like you wished the thread to go quiet, you'll do the same in real life & just be happy for your friend & enjoy the day like any other guest. X

Rosemary7391

pebbles88 wrote: »

Most posters were trying to tell you regardless of whether you feel able to make their cake, that it's entirely up to the couple over what they wish for their wedding, and they don't want you to make the cake. That's what matters, not your skills/technique.

I've just seen your friend knows you posted this, & they were seriously ok with it? Honestly??? :eek::eek::eek:

Hopefully, like you wished the thread to go quiet, you'll do the same in real life & just be happy for your friend & enjoy the day like any other guest. X

Yes, of course he was okay with it. He knows I deal with things better if I understand them, he couldn't explain it to me so this seemed sensible. I get that it's their decision, I only wanted to know why. Any other time it'd surely be considered very much not on to turn down a gift just so the same thing could be bought instead, but I know weddings can be more complicated than that so I asked for possible reasons why. Just telling me they can make that choice doesn't help - I know that because they've done it!

ptrichardson

Only read the first page of replies, but one point people seem to have missed:

If the problem is that they want a professional cake, then why is their first option a homemade cake from the parent?

Could just be that while they "like" your cake, they don't "love" it.
Or maybe they want a bigger cake than they feel comfortable asking you to provide (cost/time-wise).

You could, you know, just ask them?


Edit: Just seen the last few responses. Ouch. Oh well, its only a f***ing cake. not the end of the world.

Pollycat

ptrichardson wrote: »

Only read the first page of replies, but one point people seem to have missed:

If the problem is that they want a professional cake, then why is their first option a homemade cake from the parent.

Might be a good idea to read more replies to understand what the problem is....
.
And you might realise that more people haven't missed the point.....

sheramber

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

Yes, of course he was okay with it. He knows I deal with things better if I understand them, he couldn't explain it to me so this seemed sensible. I get that it's their decision, I only wanted to know why. Any other time it'd surely be considered very much not on to turn down a gift just so the same thing could be bought instead, but I know weddings can be more complicated than that so I asked for possible reasons why. Just telling me they can make that choice doesn't help - I know that because they've done it!

The only people who can tell you why they decided as they did are the couple concerned.

Nobody here can tell why somebody whom they do not know does something.

Izadora

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

I only wanted to know why. Any other time it'd surely be considered very much not on to turn down a gift just so the same thing could be bought instead

I don't think there is any time/scenario where it's NOT acceptable to refuse a gift. Offering to make someone's wedding cake should be exactly that, an offer not an order.

I've had friends turn down my offer of making their wedding cake, I've also had friends gratefully accept. I didn't mind which they chose as it was their wedding and therefore their decision.

hec2308

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

I've also offered to help with anything else wedding or house move related and been turned down flat I don't even know how far through the planning they are at this stage.

My god this is my worst nightmare!! Please don't take it personally. I'm planning my wedding at the moment and a few people have offered their services for various things. A few things I've said yes to (in fact a good work colleague is making our cake), some I haven't. At the end of it all, it is our day and people should be able to look at it and see elements of "us" in there.

Completely aside from that, I actually like planning the wedding, I get a great amount of satisfaction and joy out of putting it together, and often when I say no to friends who offer to help with things it's because I would like to retain control of it and make sure it's exactly what we want. One friend offered to do our flowers and whilst she is brilliant at what she does, her style is very colourful and full of flair and she saw it as an opportunity to inject some colour into our day. We've gone more "classic" (or boring) and demure. To ensure we got what we wanted we said thank you ever so much but we're already committed elsewhere, and we actually both loved sitting with the completely independent florist and picking out exactly what we wanted.

In fact my sister's husband is a professional photographer and offered to do our wedding photography for free. The reason we said no is not because we think he is rubbish, he's actually fantastic. It was just more important to us that he was a guest and that my only sister didn't spend yet another wedding sat on her own watching her husband work.

If I thought any of my friends were on here making sad faces about me saying no I'd be very upset indeed as it is never personal and if they weren't important to me on a pure friendship level they wouldn't even be invited. Cherish the friendship that you have and enjoy their day. That will be all they really want from you.

Money_maker

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

Quite... my friend is fully aware this was posted, he was happy for me to do so as he knew it would help me, but I'd rather various sets of parents didn't find it.

Also on twitter now. For crying out loud!

Maybe the friend and both sets of parents may like to comment on this thread?