Wedding cake

Rosemary7391

Ilona wrote: »

Rosemary, you come across as being a bit clingy. You omitted bits of relevant information, like both are male, which would have had a bearing on the answers you received, without going all around the houses.

You talk very passionately about your very best friend, which leads me to believe that you are jealous of his soon to be husband, muscling in on your territory. New husband is hearing warning bells and wants to distance themselves once the wedding is over.

The problem is with you, not them. Let go of them. Find some other people to bake for.

Ilona

I really did not think it was relevant that they were both male? I probably bake for others more than them to be honest, most people I know get birthday cakes from me. We are close, and I'd like to remain close friends - not sure that equates to being jealous. It's not trivial to just give up a close friend...

FBaby - I wanted to help with something. Not everything!

fairy_lights

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

Hardly! It's just me being normal, really. It'd be weird if I didn't turn up with cake.

Maybe then they want you to be at the wedding as Rosemary their friend, not Rosemary the cakemaker?

Mojisola

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

FBaby - I wanted to help with something. Not everything!

But you can't force people to accept your help. Offer to help - if your offer is refused, back off - don't keep trying to find other ways to 'help'.

LilElvis

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

I really did not think it was relevant that they were both male? I probably bake for others more than them to be honest, most people I know get birthday cakes from me. We are close, and I'd like to remain close friends - not sure that equates to being jealous. It's not trivial to just give up a close friend...

FBaby - I wanted to help with something. Not everything!

In your first post you describe him not as close but as your "closest friend", but the truth is that you don't rank as high in his affections anymore - his closest friend is his husband to be.

The fact that you're getting yourself so worked up about making a cake months after they declined your offer really is an overreaction, as is googling pictures of wedding cakes to compare to your creations and discussing the topic on here. If strangers on the internet are finding that you are coming across as too intense and needy then your friend, and his partner, are bound to have noticed too and is perhaps why they have withdrawn from you a little.

As others have said - people's priorities in life often change when they become part of a new family unit. Take a step back and you will probably find that your friend will have more time to give to you once the honeymoon period is replaced with the more humdrum banalities of married life. In the meantime look to your other friends, or even find new ones, so that you don't concentrate solely on this one relationship as the most defining in your life.

suejb2

You made an offer, your offer wasn't accepted, you need to move on. You've made a cake mountain out of a cake mole hill.

LKRDN_Morgan

LilElvis wrote: »

In your first post you describe him not as close but as your "closest friend", but the truth is that you don't rank as high in his affections anymore - his closest friend is his husband to be. .

OP don't listen to this. It's absolutely not normal behaviour to bump friends down the list in favour of a partner. It's a poor excuse used by people incapable of functioning outside of their relationship.

Adults are more than capable of having more than 1 close friend. And shockingly enough your husband/wife does not HAVE to be your best friend.

LilElvis

LKRDN_Morgan wrote: »

OP don't listen to this.

Thank you for putting me in my place.

I'll pm you before making any other posts - just to make sure that I'm not going to make a fool of myself with my opinions.

gettingtheresometime

I must admit I've found your response a little OTT.

Yes it's surprising but it's their wedding, their decision.

Let it go

gettingtheresometime

LKRDN_Morgan wrote: »

And shockingly enough your husband/wife does not HAVE to be your best friend.

Really?.....

Rosemary7391

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I must admit I've found your response a little OTT.

Yes it's surprising but it's their wedding, their decision.

Let it go

I should be clear - of course it's their decision, I don't dispute that, I just find things much easier to deal with when I understand them. Thanks to all for their contributions to this.