Wedding cake

LilElvis

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe they (or at least your friend's partner) feel you're a bit too 'full on' with the cake making?

Reading the OPs comments this morning the first picture that popped into my mind was the Eddie Redmayne sketch on Children in Need where Mary Berry pops up every few minutes with yet another cake, with Eddie getting increasingly annoyed with every one that appears.

Rosemary7391

Lily-Rose wrote: »

No offence intended, but I doubt that is ever going to happen. Your friend's mother is highly unlikely to want to share baking the wedding cake with you. She doesn't even know you does she?

I'm just trying to be reasonable. Actually I've now found out that my friend's mother doesn't want to make it and they are intending to buy one.

I'm sure my friend would have been honest enough to tell me if my cakes were unwelcome.

Lily-Rose_3

pebbles88 wrote: »

Ultimately, it's up to them as its their wedding. They don't have to have conversations about it, they don't have to justify anything to anyone at all.

I think you'd be better just moving forward from this, and just enjoy being a guest at the wedding and seeing your friend get married.

Good advice. Probably best to just let it go and move on. Difficult I know, but it's the best idea.

LilElvis wrote: »

Reading the OPs comments this morning the first picture that popped into my mind was the Eddie Redmayne sketch on Children in Need where Mary Berry pops up every few minutes with yet another cake, with Eddie getting increasingly annoyed with every one that appears.

:rotfl: I remember that scene.

Lily-Rose_3

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

I'm just trying to be reasonable. Actually I've now found out that my friend's mother doesn't want to make it and they are intending to buy one.

I'm sure my friend would have been honest enough to tell me if my cakes were unwelcome.

Not necessarily. He may not want to hurt your feelings. As the poster said above; it's best to accept that they don't want you to do it, and move on. As someone suggested earlier, maybe make a housewarming cake?

Cloudydaze

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

I fully intend to continue making them all sorts of cake, made them an engagement cake already and have plans for the housewarming cake.

Maybe that's the problem. You make lots of cakes for all occasions so having a 'Rosemary Cake' for a wedding isn't very special.

Person_one

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

If it's normal for people to drop friends just because they have partners I'm screwed

No, most people don't do that, but they also don't generally go out of their way to involve their friends greatly in things that are very 'coupley' like wedding planning, unless its the best man/bridesmaids etc.

Have they actually dropped you, or are they just getting on with planning their wedding and their house move which is time consuming for them but is not something that you are a part of?

Person_one

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

I fully intend to continue making them all sorts of cake, made them an engagement cake already and have plans for the housewarming cake.

Honestly, that sounds a bit passive aggressive!

Rosemary7391

Person_one wrote: »

No, most people don't do that, but they also don't generally go out of their way to involve their friends greatly in things that are very 'coupley' like wedding planning, unless its the best man/bridesmaids etc.

Have they actually dropped you, or are they just getting on with planning their wedding and their house move which is time consuming for them but is not something that you are a part of?

They haven't dropped me no, that was more a general bit of despair - my circumstances mean that I really need friends to be a bit more reliable than that. I can't know obviously, but if my friend were female I probably would've been a bridesmaid.

Person_one wrote: »

Honestly, that sounds a bit passive aggressive!

Hardly! It's just me being normal, really. It'd be weird if I didn't turn up with cake.

Ilona

Rosemary, you come across as being a bit clingy. You omitted bits of relevant information, like both are male, which would have had a bearing on the answers you received, without going all around the houses.

You talk very passionately about your very best friend, which leads me to believe that you are jealous of his soon to be husband, muscling in on your territory. New husband is hearing warning bells and wants to distance themselves once the wedding is over.

The problem is with you, not them. Let go of them. Find some other people to bake for.

Ilona

FBaby

I'll be totally honest and am wondering if it could be that you're a bit too eager to help and they are worried that you want to take over?

You do come across as quite keen and even a bit pushy here, so maybe that's the issue. They want to avoid having to constantly decide when to tell you to back off without hurting your feelings, so have made the decision to keep you away from it all from the start to make things easier for them.