Am I just an 'old fashioned' thinker

indsty

I would bypass sister and "text" the niece and nephew with words to the effect "so sorry you couldn't come on Sunday, missed you lots, hope to see you soon". Then leave it at that. The children will only behave in the way their parent allows them to. Maybe you will be able to have a different relationship with them if they do not feel pressured or judged.

swingaloo

indsty wrote: »

I would bypass sister and "text" the niece and nephew with words to the effect "so sorry you couldn't come on Sunday, missed you lots, hope to see you soon". Then leave it at that. The children will only behave in the way their parent allows them to. Maybe you will be able to have a different relationship with them if they do not feel pressured or judged.

Thanks Indsty.
Ive spoken to them both since weekend and there is no bad feeling at all. Nephew called in yesterday on his way home from school to borrow a DVD and I ran sis and niece to Asda last night for some shopping.

On the whole we have a good relationship, the only time I have read the riot act was when sis was sobbing her heart out and asked me to intervene.
The kids and I talk about things now and again and I try to sound them out about how they feel and whats going on at home but I dont take sides. Its strange because if you ask either one of them what they think of the other then the answer he gives is always 'I hate her' she will say 'He is a bully' but she will do/share anything with him where he will not give an inch.

He wont do Xmas or Birthday cards or pressies for either mum or sis but she will buy him something to give to mum. Its a very complicated situation but the aggression and disrespect they both show mum and how upset she gets concerns me a lot.

Its important to me that they have our house to come to if they need a sounding board so I would never alienate them so they would keep away. Our house has always been a drop in for them all, we live in the same village.

All of them have said they are miserable in their own way living as they are but dont seem to have the means to change things.
If you try to get too deep the niece will burst into tears where nephew will repeat 'dont care' over and over.

Just hope sis will have a good look at the website which has been recommended and she can get a result which helps them all.