Am I just an 'old fashioned' thinker

kelpie35

I blame your sister for bring up her children to have no respect for their parents.

I would not be happy, having spent money of food and your time preparing it.

If I were you I would show your sister this thread and tell her how disgusted you are with her parenting skills

Spendless

Judi wrote: »

Want to bet?

Who cooks their food? Who does their laundry? Just a withdrawal of certain services should be enough for them to realize that life isnt all about them.

Of course, you cant 'make' a child go but you can make their easy life pretty difficult for a day or two if you want to make a point.

Certainly but if the refusal is around the time you have to set off out, it still doesn't make them turn up to the meal. It gives them a consequence so hopefully it doesn't happen a second or future time.

barbarawright

Maybe the teenagers weren't actually consulted before the invitation was accepted on their behalf.

System

barbarawright wrote: »

Maybe the teenagers weren't actually consulted before the invitation was accepted on their behalf.

If your asked out for dinner is it courteous to accept gratefully unless there is a specific reason why you should not attend.

I'm sorry but "i dont want to go to see Aunt Polly because i'd rather hang out with my mates" isnt a valid reason.

I would have accepted on behalf of my family. If the kids didnt want to go i would have limited the time i was there.

If that makes me a bad Mother, then so be it.

barbarawright

Judi wrote: »

If your asked out for dinner is it courteous to accept gratefully unless there is a specific reason why you should not attend.

I'm sorry but "i dont want to go to see Aunt Polly because i'd rather hang out with my mates" isnt a valid reason.

I would have accepted on behalf of my family. If the kids didnt want to go i would have limited the time i was there.

If that makes me a bad Mother, then so be it.

Really? I wouldn't go out to dinner if I'd made a prior arrangement and wouldn't expect anyone to cancel to see me. They're old enough to have their own social lives and they may have good reasons for not wanting to go

System

Ok it makes me and a few others on this thread bad Mothers.

So be it.

chucknorris

Judi wrote: »

Theres always one...:rotfl:

I think that you are the one who belongs in the 'There's always one' camp. I'm not a vegetarian by the way, but I respect their right to choose to be one.

balletshoes

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

Well, it isn't the kids fault if they've not been taught manners... And not just told once, but made to practise them until they're just as normal as breathing.

I agree at this stage she can't make them come,
they're a bit old to be picked up and carried as a toddler, but there should be consequences for being so rude. There will be consequences later in life, so better that they learn now.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm afraid that's the defeatist attitude that causes lots of these problems.:(

so what would you have done, to make them come, on the day? And what kind of fun family day do you think that would have produced for Auntie Swingaloo?

balletshoes

clairec79 wrote: »

I have 15 and 14 year olds and if they are told they are going somewhere then they will go.
My parents do come up to ours frequently so I have no issue with them going out then or staying in their room (if they are in the house they do have to at least come and say hello), if we were invited out to a meal and accepted then yes they would have to go (could go out before and/or after

this is what I do too, with my 14-year old. I tell her in plenty of time that we have plans which she is included in, and thats that.

Andypandyboy

I would have given them notice ( before confirming with x) that we were going to see x on Sunday, and if they already had plans then I would not have forced them to go. However, I would rearrange and at that point they would certainly have been made to go.

It is very rude and disrespectful on the part of both the parents and the children to not go or allow them not to go. Particularly so if you have dietary requirements that have been catered for.