Contact transport arrangements

OldMotherTucker

I've 'struggled' hugely in the past getting my children to airports so they could see their non-remo Dad 2/3 times a year. I've been a single mom for 17 years but only been able to drive for 8!!

He's gone from being a completely unreasonable Twot to paying for me to stay at Heathrow Sofitel JUST SO HE COULD BE WITH OUR CHILDREN.

Fookget anyone else's opinion here!

When your kids are adults, do you want them to look back at all the times they were sat/trapped in a vehicle with a pee'd off resentful parent??

Wouldn't you rather they looked back on a full childhood where Mom and Dad worked together to give them the best start in life possible even if they were divorced.

Your EX is nothing more that a child that YOU can bring the best out of . . . eventually . . . with effort

hippychick1

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

Firstly you have no idea of the relationship me and my ex have. I was simply enquiring to get a concept of what people do.

This is so we can progress some more. But thanks for your input.

What has your relationship with your ex have to do with him seeing his children? I can't stand my ex, he is an utter moron, but my children have no idea I feel like this, he's their dad. It's only 8 miles, surely you could take the children to him?

doing_it_for_my_babies

It's taken me 5 years to get where we are now with consistency or more or less. My work means I can't get to his in ample time on the days he has them as I'm rotas in for a later shift this day. If he had them after 9am on a Sunday once every 2 weeks . We may be on better talking terms. Bear in mind I've offered this over and over again and he's refused.

He collects them. From school this is his choice. That is what was agreed he returns them home after tea.
I'm being slated here when I just asked a question.

Fact of the matter is he's a narcisstic always has been always will be. When you demand something it tends to be rejected . When you ask it gets you somewhere. Unfortunately he doesn't know how to do the latter

doing_it_for_my_babies

Unfortunately I will never be able to bring out the best in him he's not that sort of person. If something isn't how he wants it heturns on the emotional abuse and control. This is why I ask peoples opinions as I don't listen to him because if it doesn't benefit him in some way the suggestion will be wrong.

I was married to him for a long time . I know how he ticks. How he manipulates and works. So I don't get into a lengthy conversation with him about much. Unless it involves the kids welfare and health.

I'm doing my best. I'm looking at all sides. But until he cooperates in the negotiations rather than wanting everything he's gonna hit a brick wall with me.

OldMotherTucker

[QUOTE=doing_it_for_my_babies;71520682]Unfortunately I will never be able to bring out the best in him he's not that sort of person. If something isn't how he wants it heturns on the emotional abuse and control. This is why I ask peoples opinions as I don't listen to him because if it doesn't benefit him in some way the suggestion will be wrong.

I was married to him for a long time . I know how he ticks. How he manipulates and works. So I don't get into a lengthy conversation with him about much. Unless it involves the kids welfare and health.

I'm doing my best. I'm looking at all sides. But until he cooperates in the negotiations rather than wanting everything he's gonna hit a brick wall with me.[/QUOTE]

You will! Eventually,!
It's a long !!!!!!!g game being divorced from the person who promised to take care of you and your kids! There will always be an emotional connection!!

A very long time ago, someone reminded me that my kids would eventually make their own minds up and I'd have to able to stand up and look them in them in their eyes and say 'I DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO HAVE THE BEST RELATIONSHIP POSSIBLE WITH YOUR FATHER'

Take all of your feeling about your ex OUT of the equation - he's still their father and do you know what - they will ALWAYS love him!!

And if you are truly a loving mother, if you truly care about the future well being of your children, you will avail yourself to his demands because, in the future, your children will never doubt your love for them!

They will know you always drove that extra mile for them and you always put them first - it really doesn't matter what MSE posters thought:p

ecgirl07

baby_lemonade wrote: »

OP is an AE, and has flounced off here before when people started to question her version of events:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4695963

Must take one to know one....

Cant get why you would give the op a hard time about wanting some "me time"?

barbiedoll

I've never had to sort out contact arrangements so I can't really comment on that.

I was married to an @rsehole once though, and you should make sure that if you have plans for your weekend off (to which you are perfectly entitled, everyone deserves a little fun!) do not tell anyone. Don't tell the kids, don't put it on social media and don't tell anyone who may feed it back to him.

You may find that he doesn't cancel if he doesn't think he's going to ruin your weekend.

Yes, of course being a parent is all about compromise....it's the same for parents who live together, not just those who live apart. Of course, some of us are probably too busy compromising to bother to trawl through three-year-old threads. Or is that just me?

OldMotherTucker

doing_it_for_my_babies wrote: »

Unfortunately I will never be able to bring out the best in him he's not that sort of person. If something isn't how he wants it heturns on the emotional abuse and control. This is why I ask peoples opinions as I don't listen to him because if it doesn't benefit him in some way the suggestion will be wrong.

I was married to him for a long time . I know how he ticks. How he manipulates and works. So I don't get into a lengthy conversation with him about much. Unless it involves the kids welfare and health.

I'm doing my best. I'm looking at all sides. But until he cooperates in the negotiations rather than wanting everything he's gonna hit a brick wall with me.

My ex cheated on his new wife - their step mother - and has a secret baby! A half -sibling so obvious that my children don't know what to say or do. It's a ticking bomb! But they still LOVE him! And they always will!

Sometimes you just have to step back a bit!

doing_it_for_my_babies

Well I've already made my own mind up about that poster who think ks I post to wind up. Do you know in three years I've changed. But wanting to know what others do isn't that a sign of wanting to do what's right for the kids.
At the end of he day I was in an emotionally abusive marriage. sweetheart I can cope with alot more than some gif .
.right thanks all for the comments. I'm off to flounce off to my kids have a fun weekend with out them , clean my house , go to work, and somehow fit sleeping in getting ready for them going back to school.

Tata for now.

doing_it_for_my_babies

ecgirl07 wrote: »

Must take one to know one....

Cant get why you would give the op a hard time about wanting some "me time"?

Because women's place when not with her family is to sit moping at home maybe . Not on your nelly hahaha big love chuck x