Would you marry again if you were widowed?

Stevie_Palimo

SailorSam wrote: »

I wish people would stop saying that.

I mentioned to you before about trying things outside of your comfort zone or usual stuff that you do, Plenty of people meet a significant other whilst at classes, dancing, walking groups and so on and these activities need not cost a lot.

Failing the above does not float your boat then prepare a large sign to go around your neck whilst out shopping with :- Free and single looking for a new home, Am obedient, loyal and house trained.

Stole this from huffington post :-

There’s certainly nothing wrong with being single. You can live and play by your own rules, do what you feel and sleep in the middle of the bed. At some point, you might get a feeling that you’re ready to share your awesome life with another person. You may be ready to start a family or enjoy the benefits of being in a lasting, committed relationship. If you are tired of flying solo and are serious about meeting the person of your dreams, read on. From my personal experiences, I can confidently give you sure-fire tips to attract the person you desire.

I went through a devastating divorce and remarried my perfect partner in just over a year. During that process, I learned a lot about myself. While I wasn’t necessarily looking to jump right into my next relationship, the changes that I made helped me attract my husband effortlessly. We’ve been happily married for 23 years and going strong with two great kids. We compliment each other in every way and have helped many people find their perfect relationship. I’m pretty sure I can help you do the same.
The biggest key to attracting a partner is becoming the person you truly want to be. In our mind’s eye we have a vision of what it is like to be in that perfect relationship, how we want to treat our significant other and how they will treat us. Your visualization may derive from what you’ve seen from people’s relationships that you respect and value. I am a firm believer that you can have the relationship of your dreams IF you are willing to put in the work now and later (once you’ve snagged your prince/princess).

1. Write down what you want. Make a list of at least 25 characteristics you want your ideal partner to have. What’s written can become real. While some things on your list can be negotiable, you should also include a few ‘deal breakers.’ These are things that you feel strongly about and could potentially cause a problem in your future relationship. For instance, if you know for sure you want to have kids, it doesn’t make sense to plan a future with someone who is set on not having any children.
Once your list is done, pretend that you’re sending it out to your “relationship producer.” Put the list on nice stationery. Post one copy up on your mirror so you can see it daily. Seal another copy in an envelope and then either mail it to your best friend or put it in a treasure box for safekeeping.

2. Create your “I will get a partner” storyboard. Using your list as a guide, create a visual for your ideal partner. Include everything — what they look like, what your dates will look like, what you talk about, places you go, events you attend, how you both dress and what your life looks like together. My assistant was single for nine years before attracting her partner. She had a dream of marrying by the time she was 30. She took my advice to create a vision board (using her list as a guide) so that she could visualize her ideal relationship. Soon after that, she connected with a great guy she met in college. Their attraction was undeniable and he asked her to marry him. Ten months later they married, when they were both 30 years old.
The magic and manifestation happens by not just making the board, but taking 15 minutes daily to visualize it. See your perfect partner showing up in your life!

3. Increase your magnetism by becoming the type of person that will attract your ideal partner. For example, if you want someone who is fit, get fit yourself. If you want someone financially savvy, become savvy too. You can’t expect to attract someone with the key qualities you desire if you can’t offer those qualities in return. The focus shouldn’t entirely be on what your partner will bring to the table. What will you bring to the table? Why should someone be attracted to you? Strive to be your best in all areas of your life. Explore your gifts and talents. Allow yourself to grow, change and mature. Don’t waste time waiting for your life to change- - you change it. There are very few things that you need another person to help you accomplish.

4. Be happy. Many people wrongly believe that when they find a partner, they’ll be happy. The truth is, no one but you is responsible for your happiness. If your happiness is contingent upon others, you will never truly be satisfied.
Happiness is attractive. Out of the 75 males I surveyed, 100% of them listed a partner’s personal happiness as an attractive quality. Have you ever met someone who was the life of the party or their presence just lit up a room? Everyone wants to be around that person. If it’s not in your character to be extremely outgoing, that’s OK. The point is to exude happiness, because it makes you much more approachable. An inviting smile can give an interested onlooker the green light to come say “hi.”

5. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. One sure-fire way to increase your happiness is by becoming grateful for what you already have. Find the silver lining in every situation in your life. Maybe you’re grateful for past relationships because they helped you get clarity on what you really want in a partner. You can be grateful to wake up each day with an opportunity to meet someone new. When you show appreciation, you attract more goodness into your life.
You can also be grateful for what is to come by making a list of things your future partner does. Examples include, “I’m grateful my mate notices what I’m wearing and compliments me,” or “I’m grateful they send me fresh flowers just because.” One of my clients wrote this exact line in her journal, and within only 22 days she met someone who started sending her flowers with notes that read, “Just because...”

6. Practice bodybuilding. OK- - not literally. But learn to love your body. Become your best self by pampering yourself. Invest in spa treatments and massages, buy luxurious soaps and body washes, get beautiful towels and create a serene environment. Exercise and work toward getting healthy and fit.
Also, dress to impress. This is important because when you look good, you feel good. “Body building” will give your self-confidence and self-esteem a huge boost.

7. Do 25 new things you have never done. If you’re not seen, you’re not considered. Get out and go somewhere new. Create a list of 25 places to go. Some ideas are a great conference, a sports game, a new restaurant, a church service or the theater. You can even host an event. Do something outside of your comfort zone. This increases your chances of meeting your ideal partner. If you only hang out in the same spots or do the same things, how can you expect a different result? You are much more likely to meet someone new if you change up your routine.
You can exponentially increase the opportunities for running into your ideal partner if you try my attract-a-partner steps. I used these steps after my devastating divorce and in one year, I was remarried to my ideal man. These simple steps have helped others I coach get great results as well. Try them and you could potentially be planning your wedding a year from now!

SandC

My mum died when I was 10 and my brother was 11. On the day she passed away I asked my Dad if he was going to get married again - yeah kids come out with the most inappropriate stuff don't they? Poor father, lol. I still remember it to this day and wonder why I said it!

Anyway, he indeed did marry 2 years later. I'm so glad he did as my stepmother has been amazing, looked after us 2 going through teens, ran the family home and looked after my dad who fell ill only 8 years later and needed constant care for the following 20 years, the last 8 of which he was so poorly he had to be in a nursing home with 24/7 medical help.

It was a different time (albeit only the 80s). There weren't loads of single parent families about, I didn't know any at all, least of all fathers with their children. He still had to go out and earn a crust. But a totally isolating situation for him. I'm pretty sure my mum told him to find someone else anyway! Plus he was a good catch (despite having us two!).

They had been married for more than 25 years as they were older parents (mum was 52 when she died, dad was 50).

There is no wrong in this but you sure as hell will get people's opinions thrust upon you if the situation arises in your life...

WillimS

missbiggles1 wrote: »

No, but you spoke of it so negatively, in terms of yawning voids IIRC.

Loneliness is negative, I cant remember a term of phrase were anyone has used that word in a positive sense.

BarryBlue

Iwanttobefree wrote: »

I think it depends on what age you married and what age you are widowed.

I started going out with my wife a week before my 18th birthday, I'm 52 now.

She's totally irreplaceable and I wouldn't even try.

But say something happened to one of us when the kids were young, that might have been a different situation altogether.

Also, I say I would never remarry, but I know people that always said this, but have ended up getting remarried, so unless your in that situation, you never really know what you would do.

You could be 100% convinced you wont, then meet that one person you really gel with etc

I think you are absolutely right. You can never say never because you simply don't know what will happen in the future. I am certainly aware of a couple of people who said they would never remarry but did. As you say, it's not about replacing someone, it's moving on with your life.

I do think it's about creating a new relationship though, marriage is neither here nor there. In later life marriage may or may not be the right thing, depending on things like inheritance issues. Lots of elderly people live together without marrying for this reason. Good luck to them, I say.

bugslet

SandC wrote: »

There is no wrong in this but you sure as hell will get people's opinions thrust upon you if the situation arises in your life...

I've been lucky, I haven't had anyone's opinions - maybe friends know I've got enough of my own:p

SailorSam wrote: »

I wish people would stop saying that.

I think people say it, because on the whole it's true. You never know. I'm happy single, but one day, who knows. Friend of mine met her future husband whilst filling up with petrol on a garage forecourt. Crazy things happen!

Stevie_Palimo

bugslet wrote: »

I've been lucky, I haven't had anyone's opinions - maybe friends know I've got enough of my own:p



I think people say it, because on the whole it's true. You never know. I'm happy single, but one day, who knows. Friend of mine met her future husband whilst filling up with petrol on a garage forecourt. Crazy things happen!

I'm still waiting on you asking me out bugslet, You can become my mistress and that way still enjoy your freedom.

bugslet

Stevie, I was being coy and waiting for you:o. Just remember when Lady Palimo finds out, you aren't moving in:p

HighamKneeDee

Unlikely ever to get wed again. Been alone for over two years since Mrs HKD and I split up following an affair she had which I discovered and was not told about. Trust is a big issue nowadays and do not feel able to place any trust in people again. I go on dates but doubt eventually kicks in. I find I can get by alone these days.

Stevie_Palimo

bugslet wrote: »

Stevie, I was being coy and waiting for you:o. Just remember when Lady Palimo finds out, you aren't moving in:p

Lol , She'll be glad of the peace as I often get told.

bugslet

Yeah, then she'd miss you if you weren't about!