The Talk! Uni parents.

OldMotherTucker

Person_one wrote: »

That doesn't mean it's ok...

We know it not ok! Look at the messages it sends though.

Andypandyboy

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

In terms of emotional maturity they were pretty well matched. But as an adult - I couldn't stop my son going out with her and they refused to issue her an ultimatum.

Don't be fooled into thinking a child wakes up feeling or thinking any different on their 16th birthday than the night before, Nothing magic happens!!

He should have had more sense but he was deeply in love Who hasn't been there?

As an adult you had brought up he should know better. Sorry, but you cannot blame either the girl or her parents.

I have several sons so I do know a bit about kids, hormones and love. I also know about personal responsibility, common sense and instilling codes of behaviour into kids. If he was emotionally immature all the more reason to ensure he understood the "rules" and even more important - the law.

I am frankly astounded that you appear not to understand who was in the wrong here.

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Person_one

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

We know it not ok! Look at the messages it sends though.

The message that adults of 19 shouldn't have sex with girls of 14?

OldMotherTucker

Person_one wrote: »

The message that adults of 19 shouldn't have sex with girls of 14?

The message is that adults and parents behave pretty badly when it comes to sex, relationships and the law but feel they have the right to set their own rules.

How did this sex come about? Oh yes - that's because they allowed their 14 year old daughter to go out a boy. It could have happened with any boy! How could 4 parents think this was okay? Well they did and for a long time . . only defaulting back to the Law when it suited them. If you don't want your kids having sex don't allow them to be in a psuedo-adult relationship!

And if you believe that all kids mature at the same rate then you are deluded! :rotfl:

duchy

If he was living under your roof then it isn't unreasonable to think that the parent of a nineteen year old (if they really want to) can insist on certain rules and laws followed if they want to remain living there. If the boy was living elsewhere then somewhat more difficult.

ViolaLass

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

The message is that adults and parents behave pretty badly when it comes to sex, relationships and the law but feel they have the right to set their own rules.

How did this sex come about? Oh yes - that's because they allowed their 14 year old daughter to go out a boy. It could have happened with any boy! How could 4 parents think this was okay? Well they did and for a long time . . only defaulting back to the Law when it suited them. If you don't want your kids having sex don't allow them to be in a psuedo-adult relationship!

And if you believe that all kids mature at the same rate then you are deluded! :rotfl:

I'm confused. Weren't you one of the four parents?

itsanne

ViolaLass wrote: »

I'm confused. Weren't you one of the four parents?

I think the four parents were the girl's parents and their new partners ie her step-parents.

itsanne

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

The message is that adults and parents behave pretty badly when it comes to sex, relationships and the law but feel they have the right to set their own rules.

How did this sex come about? Oh yes - that's because they allowed their 14 year old daughter to go out a boy. It could have happened with any boy! How could 4 parents think this was okay? Well they did and for a long time . . only defaulting back to the Law when it suited them. If you don't want your kids having sex don't allow them to be in a psuedo-adult relationship!

And if you believe that all kids mature at the same rate then you are deluded! :rotfl:

No, the sex came about because of your son's failure to abide by the law.

I'm stunned by your protestations and the inability of a seemingly intelligent woman to acknowledge that what a nineteen-year-old did was actually wrong. If anything, the girl's background as you have described it makes her all the more vulnerable.

A nineteen-year-old is not a "baby". If you consider your son to be so immature that he cannot be held responsible for his actions, perhaps you should be shouldering some of the responsibility for not having ensured that he behaved appropriately rather than blaming everyone else, especially not your son.

Guest101

Half your age + 7 rule.


19=9.5+7 = 16.5, not 14.

OldMotherTucker

ViolaLass wrote: »

I'm confused. Weren't you one of the four parents?

She had 4 messed up bio/step parents with their own agendas! I was alone - no support from even my boy's father whose best advice was . . 'I lost my virginity at 13 - just don't get caught Son!!'

Total effing hypocrisy on all levels!!