The Talk! Uni parents.

Guest101

baby_lemonade wrote: »

Guest I think you might have lost the plot on this one, mate. I do normally like your posts, though.

Probably

I just don't think criminalising our young people has any meaningful effect.

The vast majority of people don't commit any serious crimes, certainly I don't think any meaningful number commit sex crimes and most people, regardless of gender, find such things abhorrent.

The problem is, in my opinion, a lack of reporting.

Let's take a hypothetical: 'luke' is a bit of a creep, he goes out, gets drunk and gets a bit too much with girls out on the town. He is so crass, that his behaviour would be deemed sexual assault, and he does it five times, to five women, in one night.

From that moment on, those women are now in the 1 in 5, who face some form of sexual abuse in their lives.

A seminar isn't going to stop 'luke', but five reports to the police probably would. But statistically such reports are incredibly rare. But fewer than the statistics reported to surveys and studies.

Luke is free to do the same week in week out.

Why are we not telling more women to come forward and report this kind of crime? It's committed by a extreme minority in society, but that effort seems to be to 'teach' young men, most of whom would be no threat whatsoever.

OldMotherTucker

Andypandyboy wrote: »

And what happened? Five years chronologically is a significant gap by any standard.

Save

After a period of several months the Police asked my son to sign a Restorative disposal order which was basically an apology and a promise not to see GF until she was 16. No other action was taken because GF was grown up enough to 'own' it - she instigated it and she gave full consent knowing they'd be for the high jump if they got caught. The plan was to deny, deny deny and to run away together on her 16th birthday:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: It didn't work out that way at all:rotfl::rotfl:

Eventually all the !!!! blew over and people stopped talking about it. No one who knew him ever suggested my son was a sex offender or a Speedo- everyone knew they were a couple - it was only natural;) which is why I wouldn't have let either of my daughters date anyone at the age:D

Person_one

ViolaLass wrote: »

14 to 19? Crikey.

Well quite. The legal age of consent is there to protect young people and children from being exploited by adults old enough to know better who should be seeking a partner their own age.

14 and 19 certainly fits that description.

The police and the CPS don't generally care (sensibly and rightly) about two teenagers roughly the same age starting a consensual sexual relationship.

missbiggles1

Guest101 wrote: »

(At night it is black..)

I'm not here to play devils advocate, I'm expressing my opinion and it's incredibly rude to dismiss it as simple being controversial.

Sleeping with someone when I'm a relationship is not sleeping around.

I don't think 'society' sees anything wrong with teenagers engaging in relationships as long as they're safe and happy. As for it being illegal, criminalising teenagers for exploring their physical relationships is just stupid.

Anybody who chooses to break the law chooses to criminalise themselves - it isn't society that does this.

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Anybody who chooses to break the law chooses to criminalise themselves - it isn't society that does this.

Well society as a whole sets the law, that's what I meant.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

Well quite. The legal age of consent is there to protect young people and children from being exploited by adults old enough to know better who should be seeking a partner their own age.

14 and 19 certainly fits that description.

The police and the CPS don't generally care (sensibly and rightly) about two teenagers roughly the same age starting a consensual sexual relationship.

Just to add that the CPS have the public interest test, which would likely fail in most cases of consensual teenage sex.

Anyone at all can bring a private prosecution, but it's quite expensive

OldMotherTucker

Guest101 wrote: »

Well society as a whole sets the law, that's what I meant.

Society gives very mixed messages!

You can't have sex until you are 16!

But if you are going to do it, or are thinking about doing it, you can get all sorts of helpful advice and contraceptives.

If you are going to do it, we want you to be safe!

It's your body!! You have the right to do anything you want with it! :rotfl::rotfl:

Society isn't very forgiving though so labelling a kid as a screwup or sex offender for life seems unfair especially when the older generation hark back to the days when a stern word from a local Bobby was enough to keep them on the straight and narrow!:rotfl:

It's seems unfair because it's not like underage sex is a new thing! Ask any man over 50 what age they lost their virginity and most will claim to have been 13/14/15 but ask any woman of a similar age and you'll find they were older and married:rotfl::rotfl:

Guest101

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

Society gives very mixed messages!

You can't have sex until you are 16!

But if you are going to do it, or are thinking about doing it, you can get all sorts of helpful advice and contraceptives.

If you are going to do it, we want you to be safe!

It's your body!! You have the right to do anything you want with it! :rotfl::rotfl:

Society isn't very forgiving though so labelling a kid as a screwup or sex offender for life seems unfair especially when the older generation hark back to the days when a stern word from a local Bobby was enough to keep them on the straight and narrow!:rotfl:

It's seems unfair because it's not like underage sex is a new thing! Ask any man over 50 what age they lost their virginity and most will claim to have been 13/14/15 but ask any woman of a similar age and you'll find they were older and married:rotfl::rotfl:

I agree, but you can't lower the age of consent, which just opens up the door for abusers and you can't raise it without seeming draconian.

I do find it surprising that people are still so defensive over it

Person_one

OldMotherTucker wrote: »

Society gives very mixed messages!

You can't have sex until you are 16!

But if you are going to do it, or are thinking about doing it, you can get all sorts of helpful advice and contraceptives.

If you are going to do it, we want you to be safe!

It's your body!! You have the right to do anything you want with it! :rotfl::rotfl:

Society isn't very forgiving though so labelling a kid as a screwup or sex offender for life seems unfair especially when the older generation hark back to the days when a stern word from a local Bobby was enough to keep them on the straight and narrow!:rotfl:

It's seems unfair because it's not like underage sex is a new thing! Ask any man over 50 what age they lost their virginity and most will claim to have been 13/14/15 but ask any woman of a similar age and you'll find they were older and married:rotfl::rotfl:

'Kids' don't get labelled as sex offenders just for having normal, healthy, explorative sexual relationships with their peers.

OldMotherTucker

Person_one wrote: »

'Kids' don't get labelled as sex offenders just for having normal, healthy, explorative sexual relationships with their peers.

'Normal' :rotfl::rotfl: WTH is 'normal'? The GF came from a family where step Mother was nearly 20 years younger than DAD - only 9 years older than the GF- whose peer is she? :rotfl::rotfl: and her step father was a thug who only followed the law when it suited him! Both Mum and Stepmum encouraged GF to try to see my son after he'd signed his DO :eek::eek:

Her family didn't want to press charges - they used the law to stop the relationship when they found out they'd had sex!! They didn't want him to go to prison either - they wanted to physically punish him - outside the law.

Poor babies! They honestly thought that they could both front it out and deny it - just like they see other people doing on the TV, in the media and in RL :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: They lasted less than 10 seconds:rotfl::rotfl: