Just had a blazing row with my OH

missbiggles1

Pollycat wrote: »

I'm not sure that Andrew Ryan's post was addressed to you.

Difficult to tell when people can't be bothered to quote the post they're replying to.:)

LannieDuck

Out of interest, what was his 'side' that you were supposed to take?

"I'm sorry gov'ner, I happened to have a rock in my hand and it slipped"?

easilydistracted

My OH has a bit of a bad habit of not being able to stand up for himself about little things then having a big drama over something minor as the stress has built up and not being able to see someone else's perspective.

If however he ever went as far as deliberately smashing in the window of someone who had already apologised for essentially being a bit of an ignorant teenager and then got angry at me in response he would be extremely lucky if the worst he ended up with was a sleepover at his sisters. HE sounds like he needs professional help.

You were involved because he chose not to listen to you attempting to intervene and caused you to be a witness, not your fault at all. He also didn't have to accept a caution, although I think it was sensible he did as the consequences could have been a lot worse!

Dill

Does he have mental health issues?

JReacher1

It won't be popular but this board is filled with inconsiderate people playing their loud music and annoying people.

Your husband snapped and a very inconsiderate person got his back window smashed on his car (after he had told him to turn it down). Personally I don't really disagree with this

I also think you should have backed him up. I agree for serious crimes don't blindly back your partner but when some idiot is being inconsiderate and his car is damaged as a result I don't think I would take the strangers side over my husband.

barbarawright

JReacher1 wrote: »

It won't be popular but this board is filled with inconsiderate people playing their loud music and annoying people.

Your husband snapped and a very inconsiderate person got his back window smashed on his car (after he had told him to turn it down). Personally I don't really disagree with this

I also think you should have backed him up. I agree for serious crimes don't blindly back your partner but when some idiot is being inconsiderate and his car is damaged as a result I don't think I would take the strangers side over my husband.

Gosh. So you advocate criminal damage as a solution to someone playing loud music even though the OP said the boy turned the music down and apologised. Because, you know, teenagers often don't actually have any idea that they are being annoying until someone tells them.

JReacher1

barbarawright wrote: »

Gosh. So you advocate criminal damage as a solution to someone playing loud music even though the OP said the boy turned the music down and apologised. Because, you know, teenagers often don't actually have any idea that they are being annoying until someone tells them.

If he had turned it down enough the OH wouldn't have been so angry. It sounds like this wasn't a one off. Some guy rocks up in a car and annoys everyone by blasting out his loud music.

It's a crime that will never be punished. No policeman is going to bother because for a couple of minutes some inconsiderate lad likes to blast his music out of his car.

Although I don't applaud the husbands actions. I would be surprised if next time the kid turns up he plays loud music from his car. Therefore for what is a minor criminal conviction the OP has solved an annoying situation!

barbarawright

Perhaps you should read the original post.

"Off he went on his high horse to confront the young lad. I went after him - he confronted the lad who turned down the music. Not enough for DH, oh no, he had to start effin and blinding at the lad."

So you would really vandalise someone's car *after* they'd done what you requested?

Gavin83

When he said you should have backed him up what did he mean? Was be expecting you to lie? If so it could have landed you in a lot more trouble than him.

Never been a believer in blinding following someone no matter what they've done. You did the right thing.

Meepmeep

Just to give you a different perspective - I was recently in a similarish situation - but the other side of things - victim of road rage. Although I wasn't physically hurt I was absolutely terrified and anxious all week. Even more so because it happened in my own road and was scared to go out in case guy was still waiting / figured out where we lived (he followed us in the car for a while after the outburst).

If I was the lad who had his window smashed in, I wouldn't want to take it further. Not because I didn't want to, but because I would be worried about repercussions. If someone would smash my window in after I said sorry then what the hell would they do if I got them into trouble!

To me, there is NO excuse for this kind of behaviour. I think you were totally right to not blindly stand by your OH. If you were unhappy with his behaviour then you have a right to say. Who the hell wants friends / family not to point out when you're in the wrong. I'd want to know!

And if you had have said - yes your behaviour was fine darling - to your OH - it still doesn't make it right and the outcome wouldn't be any different, so it's a moot point really.

Is your OH generally happy? The reason I ask is the only time I get enraged is when I'm really stressed/ unhappy with things. I don't ever explode like that though - even though I may want to (I'd be flattened in a fight - I'm only small - lol)