Just had a blazing row with my OH

bouicca21

Seriously, anyone with this kind of anger issue needs help. And his partner should be thinking very seriously about whether they have a future together.

OP could have claimed spousal privilege and refused to be a witness. The police would have drawn their own conclusions from that and the OH woukd still have been deep in the doodoo.

LKRDN_Morgan

Your husband obviously has an anger problem. Smashing the window of a car is not a normal reaction to the situation. Not matter how good bake off is!

But then again neither is making up a whole new account just to post this. Worrying about what online strangers would think if you posted this on your usual account is odd.

You both have issues

elsien

Spousal privilege - does that still exist? I thought it applied to giving evidence in court, not a general refusal to talk to the police.

hazyjo

He's definitely peed off about something else. I know when I'm seething or wound up about something I'll take it out on others - if I have a particularly horrific day at work, I sometimes literally walk along thinking 'go on, start on me, cos I'm just in the mood to give it back'. I'll walk home thinking if anyone tries to mug me, they will get more abuse back than they could ever give to me. I have things ready to shout at them in my head, and go through scenarios about what to say to others. Anger is a horrible emotion.


Liverpool Street is full of annoying people who sometimes barge you out the way, push in, or run you over with their suitcase, or the train will be cancelled, short or delayed. I have been known to kick off. Looking back, it's usually a case of the straw that broke the camel's back... I have also gone the other way and bawled my eyes out - someone shoved a rucksack on their back once from the floor and whacked me hard in the process, nearly knocking me over. Rather than saying sorry, they gave me a torrent of abuse about how I shouldn't have been so near (on a packed concourse). I was so taken aback, I was in tears up the platform (travel had been awful for months and that just tipped me over the edge).


btw, you were in the right - and you know it - and he probably knows it too.


Jx

System

with him spouting words along the lines of me being his wife and how I should take his side, no matter what.

So your supposed to agree with him when he's being an idiot? That will make you as big an idiot as he is.

Stevie_Palimo

He sounds like a right charmer and I bet the ladies will be forming a orderly line around the block should you proceed to divorce him.

Nothing to add here but the fact of roping family is uncalled for unless as previously stated you felt concerned for you safety, Yes he was a idiot and no he should not have done what he did but I believe you have fanned the flames on this one and he will stay wound up for even longer after being kicked out of his own house.

barbarawright

prowla wrote: »

You should not have contradicted your husband, regardless of whether he was in the wrong.

Do you often take the opposing view to him (and let everybody know)?

(Incidentally, posting such a detailed story under a new account is not really going to hide much, is it?)

Wow! So wives should support their husbands even when they commit criminal damage? Are you being serious or are you some sort of ISIS recruitment agent?

elsien

barbarawright wrote: »

Wow! So wives should support their husbands even when they commit criminal damage? Are you being serious or are you some sort of ISIS recruitment agent?

Or a Christian fundamentalist surrendered wife proponent. No one religion has first dibs on misogyny.

AylesburyDuck

My first thought on reading the OP was Man Period, before my husband even got to the car i'd have been asking if he was on the blob.
Joking aside...
No, not acceptable behaviour , if its not out of character for him why would you stay with such a thug, if it is you need to dig deep its a symptom of something,yes you did the right thing.

groovy_chick

I'm sorry OP, but people like your husband really scare me and make me worry about my family and friends going out in public.

The young lad turned his music down and apologized, yet your husband still went on and smashed his window? Imagine if the lad had argued back - you would probably be visiting your husband in prison on charges of GBH at the very least.

Then, after you had suffered the humiliation of accompanying him to the police station, he chose to blame you for not standing up for him; classically making someone else to blame for him disgraceful behaviour. The fact that you needed help from his sister to get him away from you just shows how unreasonable and threatening he was being.

I would not be offering him tea and comfort for his bruised ego; I wouldn't be letting him back in the house until he had sought help for his anger issues :mad:

You really have done nothing wrong OP, but if you do not stand up to him and make it clear how unacceptable his behaviour was, then you will share the blame next time it happens.

Take care of you x